How to speak "Christianese"

Like most groups, Christians have a specialized language and terminology for those who are truly "in the know". Don't be an outsider! Learn these special deeply meaningful Christianese terms and phrases so you, too, can be spiritual! Or at least sound that way.

 

Christianese: "If it be God's will."

Translation: "I really don't think God is going to answer this one.

 

Christianese: "Let's have a word of prayer."

Translation: "I am going to pray for a long, long, long time."

 

Christianese: "That's not my spiritual gift."

Translation: "Find someone else."

 

Christianese: "Fellowship"

Translation: "Organized gluttony."

 

Christianese: "The Lord works in mysterious ways."

Translation: "I'm totally clueless."

 

Christianese: "Lord willing . . ."

Translation: "You may think I'll be there, but I won't."

 

Christianese: "I don't feel led."

Translation: "Can't make me."

 

Christianese: "She has such a sweet spirit!"

Translation: "What an airhead!"

 

Christianese: "I have a 'check' in my spirit about him."

Translation: "I can't stand that jerk!"

 

Christianese: "Prayer concerns"

Translation: "Gossip"

 

Christianese: "In conclusion . . . "

Translation: "I'll be done in another hour or so."

 

Christianese: "You just have to put it in God's hands."

Translation: "Don't expect me to help you."

 

Christianese: "God wants to prosper you!"

Translation: "Give me all your money."

(Author unknown.)

 

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