Frequently Asked, and Other Questions
Birth Control
Q. A member at my church asked me about birth control, is it wrong to use it in a marriage?
Answer:
There is no prohibition in the Bible against methods or devices which prevent conception. (Abortion after conception, however, is a whole other subject.)Some have occasionally, and wrongly, referred to Gen. 38:10 in the context of birth control. But the subject there is preservation of family lineage and Onan's attempt to circumvent that law, without bearing the public disgrace of refusing to fulfill his responsibility to his brother's widow (see Deu. 25:5-10). His sins were greed and vanity, not birth control or masturbation.
Scripture shows penalties for assault which results in accidental miscarriage or involuntary abortion in Ex. 21:22. It also shows miscarriage and involuntary abortion as a form of divine punishment in Hos. 9:14.
But these examples have nothing to do with preventing conception.The Bible does give us examples and principles of family planning.
Because of the great amount of religious persecution of Christ's followers, in some areas, plus the fact that for a while, Paul thought that Christ's return was imminent, he told the church at Corinth, (regarding remaining unmarried) " I suppose therefore that this is good for the present distress, I say, that it is good for a man so to be." (1 Cor.7:26).
Without the qualifier ("for the present distress"), this would have been teaching contrary to God's instruction for men and women to marry (Gen.2:24) and to have children (Gen. 1:27-28). It would have also been a contradiction of his letter to Timothy, in which he mentions "doctrines of devils" such as celibacy (1 Tim. 4:1-3).
If social, economic or political conditions are so difficult as to justify delaying marriage (and thereby delaying conceptions), wouldn't they also be difficult enough to justify delaying conceptions by those who are already married? Can you imagine Paul telling one couple, "Don't get married, it's too dangerous!", while telling another couple already married, "Hey, keep popping those babies out."?
Another principle we are given is to "plan ahead financially".
"For which of you, intending to build a tower, sits not down first, and counts the cost, whether he have sufficient to finish it?" (Lk.14:28).
According the the 1990 census, it cost $82,400 (1981) to raise a child to age 18 (for a family with two children and where the wife works part time). Having too many children can lead to poverty, lack of sufficient health care resulting in disease and death, unnecessary stress on the marriage resulting in divorce and impoverishment for the family members, and a greater likelihood of the children having problems with school, drugs, crime, teen pregnancies, etc.
Another principle: "Prepare your work without, and make it fit for yourself in the field; and afterwards build your house." (Pro. 24:27). In other words, do things in a logical order, get established in a job or a career before you get married. Get your marriage established before you begin having children.
Some of the better manuals on having a successful marriage discuss the advantages of waiting for a year or even several years to have children. This gives the marriage time to mature to a point where it can endure the responsibilities and stress of having children. For the 50% or more of marriages which fail, it reduces the complications for the adults, and needless pain and suffering of the children.
You didn't mention which "church" you attend. Some teach, regardless of scripture, that all contraception is wrong.
In the Pope Paul VI Encyclical Letter on the Regulation of Birth, July 25, 1968, "Similarly excluded [prohibited] is every action which, either in anticipation of the conjugal act, or in its accomplishment, or in the development of its natural consequences, propose, whether as an end or as a means, to render procreation impossible [16]."
(http://www.newadvent.org/docs/pa06hv.htm)This letter does not quote a scripture to support this ban [since there are none which do] but refers only to church "authority". We also notice that the logic of their argument contains a contradiction.
Such teachings, based on human "authority" rather than on scripture, offer advantages to the "church" organization (increased membership) while disregarding the realities of individual human suffering and the collective social problems created by totally unrestrained conceptions. On the one hand, the "priesthood" exhalts itself because of practicing birth control through celibacy, while the masses are condemned if they do it because of health, physical or economic limitations.One purpose of the physical world, for us, is to understand the spiritual world.
"Because that which may be known of God is manifest in them; for God has shown it unto them.
For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even his eternal power and Godhead; so that they are without excuse:" (Rom 1:19-20).
The most important purpose of marriage is to teach us the relationship we should have with God."And I will betroth you unto me for ever; yes, I will betroth you unto me in righteousness, and in judgment, and in lovingkindness, and in mercies.
I will even betroth you unto me in faithfulness: and you shall know the Lord." (Hosea 2:19-20)
"For your Maker is your husband; the Lord of hosts is his name; and your Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall he be called." (Isa 54:5).
". . . and as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so shall your God rejoice over you." (Isa 62:5).Also Jer. 31:32, Eph. 5:25-32, and Rev. 19:6-9.
The most important lessons we can learn from childrearing are how God loves us and is available to us continually, rejoices over us in our successes, hopes for us in our potential, cries over us in our suffering, and mourns us when we are lost.
But many parents, especially fathers, spend so much time trying to provide for their families, that they are seldom there to learn these lessons.We are all, the children of God the Father, who practiced family planning by creating only one couple in beginning his family on earth. He didn't create all humanity at once. He limited our reproduction while giving some other life forms the ability to reproduce by the hundreds and thousands in each generation. He did not have more children than he had room for, or food for, or resources for, on the earth.