Vol. 6
Humorous and Unusual, Real Church Names
Reader's Contributions and Comments
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Divide Baptist Church
Miller's Grove, TX"Isn't this what churches are always doing?"
(courtesy of: Mark and Sandy)
* * * * * *Editor's Response:
Perhaps they are planning ahead? Or, they're a "prophetic church".
"Dividend Baptist Church" would sound more "profitable" than "prophetical", and "Divisor . . ." would make them sound "problematic".
If the dividing is over, perhaps "Quotient Baptist Church" would be appropriate, but QBC sounds almost "commercial".------------------------------------------------------------------------
Noise Reduction?
"I love your site... a bit of background for you.....Hiss Church is actually a church that has as its ancestor a relative of the famous Alger Hiss. The original name was Hysses. But some time around the turn of the 20th century it changed to Hiss."
-Webmaster@Hiss-umc.org
* * * * *
Editor's Response:Thank you for the background. Hysses would have added even more to the visual imagery.
"Hiss UMC" is listed in Vol. 2, under "What's in a name?".
[Alger Hiss, an American, was convicted of spying for the Soviet Union in the early 1950's.]-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Sounds Like an Abbot and Costello Routine
" . . . We attend..."Church Today" Cape Coral, Florida
(have you been to Church Today?")a southern baptist congregation "
(unsigned, address withheld)
* * * * *Did you go to church today?
No, I went yesterday.
Where did you go?
Today.
No, yesterday.
Today!
I didn't ask about today. I asked about yesterday.
Yes.
So where did you go?
Today!
(and so on)We wonder if the children's Bible Study is called "Tomorrow" and the Senior Citizens', "Yesterday".
[To see the text of Abbot and Costello's routine, visit: http://www.baseball-almanac.com/humor4.shtml ]
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Pastor Proclaims Ovid UMC Is A False Church:
"I'm glad we made your list, however, you got the name wrong.
We are the United Church of Ovid, in Ovid Michigan. Not the Ovid United
Methodist Church (in fact there is no Ovid United Methodist Church, so you
did make up at least one on the list . . . )Smile and have a wonderful day
Pastor (name withheld)"
(emphasis ours)* * * * * * *
Editor's Response:
Well, when the pastor proclaims that there is "no" such church, who are we to disagree?
At first we couldn't find you on our list either, but it's not because of any titular decision to put the organization ahead of the community.
In Vol. 1, re: "Classical Churches", we listed "Ovid United Methodist Church, Julesburg, CO."
Nearly all of the Methodist churches in our list were found in Methodist directories. A quick re-search yielded
"The Rocky Mountain Conference of the United Methodist Church" at http://www.rmcumc.org/DistrictSites/WYNECO/necochurches.phtml
which included the following church listings:"Julesburg United Methodist Church, Julesburg, CO"
"Ovid United Methodist Church, Ovid, CO"
If we copied someone else's erroneous entry, we sincerely apologize to any Julesburgers or Ovidites who may have been offended.
For pastor, both of these churches show the same name, perhaps indicating a "church circuit" or a single administration. In some cases, Methodist churches that share some connection other than Methodism, also share a mailing address.
Hence the "Pass-the-Buck UMC" in Pass-the-Buck, Timbuktu, and the "Bucksnort UMC" in nearby Bucksnort, Timbuktu, may, in some directories, both be listed with the location of Bucksnort. This is probably the explanation for the directory listing from which we obtained the name.
Not all UMC churches use the name of their city or community. Obviously, in larger cities, that would cause confusion, unless they also used "First", "Second", or "43rd" (see Vol. 3, "The Book of Numbers?").As for "making up names" of churches, we found that fact is strange enough without resorting to fiction. However, if we ever do decide to make up names, we have a lot of affection for "Bucksnort". And then there's "The Livid Church of the Easily Offended", but I think we may have attended there at least once.
We have changed the listing from "Julesburg, CO" to "Ovid, CO". Thank you for your comment as it has brought to our attention the error of our ways even though there really is an "Ovid UMC".
And apparently, some people in Michigan think so too:
"Oct. 24: 1-2:30 p.m. Ovid United Methodist Church, 131 Front St."
Lansing State Journal
http://www.lsj.com/news/local/021004_flushot.html" . . . Ovid United Methodist Church in Ovid, Michigan."
St. John's Independent
http://www.miserybay.com/sjindy/obits/020914.shtmlNevertheless, we have amended the entry for "UMC of Ovid, MI" in Vol. 2, "New Saints?", per your e-pistle.
(The Editors)
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Select Beaver Dam Baptist Denies Membership in The "Frozen Chosen"
"I am a member of True Song Ministries, Beaver Dam, Kentucky which planted
Bethesda Baptist Church, in Select Kentucky, . . . . We would like to
invite you into our "humorous" little country church, and I suppose the location
does say it all. As far as it being a song ministry, well we do SING THE
PRAISE OF THE LORD JESUS CHRIST EVERY DAY, so you just may be right about that.
We are not a part of the frozen chosen, We are actually glad you found our
ministry name "humorous." Come on out and visit us at Bethesda Baptist Church, in
Select Kentucky where EVERYONE IS SOMEONE AND JESUS IS LORD. I'm sure GOD
appreciates your sense of humor. "(name and address withheld)
* * * * *
Thank you for your comments and your gracious invitation. We love your term "frozen chosen" and it shows your own sense of humor.
The title of our list is "Humorous and Unusual, But Real Church Names", so inclusion can mean either humorous or unusual as in "out of the ordinary" and we have seen only one listing for "true song" or any variation thereof. If a local church had named itself the "Frozen Chosen Church", we certainly would have included it for the humor.While we do have a listing for "Truesong Bible Church" in Beaver Dam, KY, we do not see a listing for "True Song Ministries".
A search of Google yielded "Your search - "True Song Ministries" - did not match any documents."
"Truesong Bible Church" is found in three church lists on the web, besides our own:
Way of Life's Internet Directory of Independent Baptist and Fundamentalist Churches
http://www.wayoflife.org/fbns/churchdir/!kentucky.htmIndependent Baptist Church Locator for Kentucky
http://members.tripod.com/militarygetsaved/kentucky_ibcl.htmhttp://www.bible.advocate.net/KY.txt
If we have your church name wrong, we apologize for the error. We certainly did not intend to insult either Select Baptists or Beaver Dam Baptists.
Thanks for writing,
(the Editors)--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Joy Explosion Church
Lake City, Florida.(courtesy of: Jack McLaughlin )
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Reader's contributions are welcome and eagerly awaited. All submissions are confirmed through a second source before inclusion lest thou be tempted to confabulation. Submissions will be credited by thy name unless you tell us don't want to be blamed.
-The Editors
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