Religion

Religion* is like . . .

Sports

A Library

Transportation

Sports:

Religion is like sports because . . .

The larger organizations have colorful, expensive uniforms or "vestments".

Priests offer wafers and grape juice or wine. Vendors offer peanuts, hotdogs and beer.

Churches require confession and repentance, often followed by baptisms.
Sports require post-game confessions from the losers and testimonials from the winners, followed by showers.

Worshippers and fans can be recognized by, sometimes, extreme clothing.

Both religion and sports are centered in large structures designed to attract crowds.

People worship “No. 1”.

People stand for the music. Some even know the words. Amazing Grace or Take Me Out To The Ballgame.

The emphasis and attention is on those under the spotlights, rather than those in the seats.

Religion required animal sacrifices for the symbolism of the blood. Most sports require animal sacrifices for the leather, and the risk of bloodletting increases attendance.

The "rich, famous or important" people sit in the front seats or pews.

If you "donate" enough money, you can sit in a better seat or pew.

People pray for divine intervention or points.

Sports offer young "virgin-like" women in sexy, skimpy clothing, who dance suggestively as entertainment for paying fans.
One religion offered "vestal virgins" who had sex for money offered by praying fans.

Both place more emphasis on popularity and winning, than with truth or honesty. The churches denied child abuse by priests. Baseball’s Hall of Fame inducted a gambler who lied about it.
[One religion had sex rules but sold "indulgences" as licenses to sin. Now some offer "no sex rules" and the license is free.]

Both sports and religion are available on radio and television and the Internet.

Both have their own sections in newspapers although sports get more coverage.

Both are considered "careers", with the usual "preparation" consisting of classes at the college level.

Religion has Christian Youth Camps. Sports have Sports Training Camps.

Some paint their foreheads with ash and wear crosses around their necks. Others paint their team colors on their faces and wave symbolic objects in the air.

Both religion and sports often involve superstitious customs and symbols. A fish or a large foam finger. Frequent rising and sitting or doing a “wave”.

Religion requires faith. Sports require positive visualization.

In church, it’s a processional. In sports, the team enters the field through a cordon of cheerleaders, to the sound of music and cheering.

In church, it’s a recessional. In sports, the losers run away protected by police. The winners are escorted off by the press corps.

Both have confusing language and “mysteries”. The “triune hypostases of God” versus the “ineligible receiver rules”.

Both have historic events. One has Creation, the Flood and the Exodus. The other Babe Ruth’s home run record, USA beats USSR in ice hockey, Chicago Bulls with Jordan.

Both have major, minor and amateur "leagues" or "denominations".

Both have their key players, considered "stars" or "superstars".

The more famous they are, the more money they get or from which they benefit. Star players make millions, televangelists live like CEO's, and the Pope wears clothes woven with pure gold.

All of the most popular major sports have as their primary object of play, a round or egg-shaped object, an "orb", which symbolizes an egg, or the source of "life". Some take place in round or egg-shaped structures or on round or oval tracks.
Religion is primarily concerned with "life". Some worship with eggs.

Both have "services" available on the original "Sabbath" and the more popular Sunday.

Both have an annual calendar of “feasting and fasting”. The championship series equals Christmas. The fasting of Lent equals the “off–season”.

Religion offers Easter. Sports offers “sudden death”.

Both use scheduling as a way to increase their audience.

For the majority of those who attend, it is mostly a "weekend thing".

A "sacrifice" of money is required or you will not be welcomed.

In both, most of the money goes to the "Owners", "Managers", and "star Players" and to cover the cost of their salaries, their "performance", their "uniforms" and the large facilities.

Both claim to some extent, to be "non-profit", but when that happens to either one, they go out of business.

Both make, [in proportion to their gross, merely token] gifts to the poor or needy, as a public relations gesture and to "feel good" about themselves.

Some get extremely emotional about their favorite sport or religion, but it doesn't usually make them a better person, just more offensive and sometimes violent.

Most support the "local" team or church, just because it's local.

Both are male-dominated but women are beginning to participate more in limited ways at all levels.

Gradually increasing at the top: Women priests. Women commentators.

Children are encouraged to take interest, but their training and instruction are left up to others.

The "local teams" are the "good guys" while everyone else is inferior.
Every church is the one true church.

From the local level to the national, the team or church offers followers a chance to belong to something, to unite against the “enemy”.

Religions have ecumenicalism while sports have leagues, conferences and the Olympics.

The priest holds up the communion cup. The players hold up the trophy, which is often cup shaped.

Religion has TBN. Sports have ESPN.

Both have "professional" commentators and self-proclaimed critics.

Both pay lip service to "equality of all", but it always comes down to who is No. 1, and everyone else is considered "losers", because both are based on comparisons among themselves.

The Number Two Reason that Religion is like sports: A lot of people talk about it, but most just watch others do something.

And the Number One Reason, Religion* is like Sports, . . .

It's about the money!

[If you doubt this, then take any "church", subtract the money and see what's left, an empty building, "For Sale".]

* [Religion in the sense of man-made organizations or systems. True worship of a divine being, as defined and demonstrated in scripture is something else entirely. God created men, men created "religions".]

A Library:

Religion is like a library because . . .

More than one book is involved.

Fictional works are available.

Both have "Cliff's Notes" versions, in which most of the message is lost.

Everyone could read the same thing and get the same understanding, but it is nearly impossible to find any two people who did.

People compare and contrast the authors and dispute the authorship and his meaning, while ignoring the message.

The people who work there are not considered to be the most intriguing or fascinating, or popular people. Most visitors find their profession to be boring.

Most who work there are preoccupied with classification and labeling rather than knowledge.

They are often found in monumental buildings, which are usually, nearly empty.

The spiritually or physically "homeless" use them for temporary shelter, but usually do not have a long-term interest in the resources found there.

They were more popular before the advent of electronic audio-visual technology.

And the Number One Reason:

Religion is like a library, because most everyone knows where to find it, but seldom go there unless forced to do so.

Transportation:

Religion is like transportation because . . .

Everyone could share a ride to get to the same place, but since we all start from different places, that appears to be impossible.

Some use private transportation. Others use "mass" transit.

Many have the same destination, but are going in different and even opposing directions to get there.

For many, their choice of vehicle or religion will, sooner or later, break down or fail to provide satisfactory service.

You can hitchhike with others, but your choices are limited. However, some do not want choices to make.

You could assemble your own vehicle or religion using parts from many different sources, but that takes time, study and effort. Don't expect anyone else to want to ride in it after you're finished.

Just like cars, eventually all man-made religions run out of gas, break down, or just become ugly and obsolete.

Everyone has a different opinion on the best way to get to the same place.

Some want to go early, some late, and some don't want to go at all.

Many are looking for a "short-cut".

The most popular "routes" and churches have the heaviest traffic, resulting in people sitting for long periods, being bored, and going nowhere.

Some kill one another, trying to get to the same place.

One has "road rage", the other, Persecutions and Crusades.

The fancier the ride, the more it costs, regardless of the destination.

The proliferation of various forms only serves to pollute the environment and create noise.

The noisiest vehicles go the shortest distance and break down first.

Both abandoned vehicles and abandoned churches become eyesores.

Both have often been affected by and controlled by man-made governments.

The larger "manufacturers" try to eliminate their competition. At times, violence and death have been involved.

For some, the "means" becomes the end. It's the vanity of appearance or cost, not the destination.

Many make their choice based on what others will think, and to avoid embarrassment.

Many choose a car or church simply because their parents used it.

Some parents insist that their children make the same choice because of "tradition", not performance.

Many children reject their parents' choice, in favor of appearance, newness and speed.

While everyone has an opinion on the best vehicle or religion, most don't really know how the parts work or even what they are called.

There are people who will work very hard to influence your choice, because they are being paid salaries and bonuses to do this.

Both car salesmen and televangelists rank near the bottom of public polls for "trustworthiness".

Many, in western nations, will try more than one brand in their lifetime.

Many brands look alike.

There are "hidden" costs.

Many see the problems (noise and pollution for one, hate and religious wars for the other) but no one can do anything about it.

Many will complain about the shortcomings of their choices, but will not change brands.

As long as the owner or worshiper believes it will get him to his destination, he will often overlook faulty engineering, inconsistencies and even malfunctions.

With the many forms of transportation and religions available and the marketing appeals made to vanity, many forget the goal is simply to get to somewhere else.

No matter how many vehicles or religions you have access to, you can only drive one at a time.

Both religion and transportation are often, a status symbol.

Radically different models, traveling at 55 mph, are both traveling at 55 mph.

Appearance and cost don't always affect performance or reflect value.

If a limousine is defective, a bicycle may get you there with less effort.

The simpler the vehicle or the form of worship, the fewer things there are to go wrong.

And the Number One Reason:

Religion is like transportation because without some effort on your part, you won't go anywhere.