GG5

The Guardian's Grimoire Number Five

The Search for the True Self

by Abritha

Do not be intimidated by the search for your true self, the one that lies beyond Awakening. What seems like an almost impossible task is actually deceptively simple, for the Self is who you really are, and it is never far from you. It only waits, just below the surface of your consciousness, for you to recognize it for what it is. Likewise do not fear that you are descending into madness, for the principles involved are little different from those that humans call finding the inner self, or the Deep Self, or the Holy Guardian Angel, or the soul, or the daimon, or the cowalker, or in a certain game, the Avatar. It is your immortal counterpart, and the source of your Guardianship.

Following are several different routes that might lead you to a better sense of yourself, and hence to your further Awakening. Use whichever appeals to you, or better yet, use two or more in combination. Some appeared, in less detail, in the second Grimoire: some did not.

_The Way of Reason_

You may find a path to your true self by exploring your current self. Do you feel drawn to a particular element? A certain place, or a certain kind of place? Certain folkloric or mythological stories or beings? Certain animals? Colors, stones, plants? To a particular culture? A certain kind of music or art? Do you feel naturally repelled by any element, place, et cetera? What are your natural talents? Do any of them correspond to any mythological figures or creatures? Did any mythological creatures figure prominently in your thoughts, writings, drawings, when you were a child? Did you ever have a vision of a particular type of being, especially as a child? (These are often either of your race, or the race of a close spiritual friend.) What is your favorite race to play or encounter in games? What would you really *want* to be if you could choose?

_The Way of Second Sight_

Sit comfortably in a dark room, with a lit candle and a mirror. Arrange things so that you can sit comfortably and clearly see your face in the mirror, with the candle lighting your features but not glaring into your face. You may play quiet music in the background if this helps you reach a meditative state. Look into the candle flame for a moment to clear your mind; then turn your attention to meeting your own gaze in the mirror. Looking into your own eyes, move deeper into meditation, focusing on seeing your true self. If you have uncovered a name that you believe may be yours, you may chant it--if not, you may say something like "I am I" or "I know my Self" or something of similar meaning that appeals to you. In time you may be able to see your image shift to something more like your true self. Without breaking the trance--and not breaking it may take practice--make a mental note of whatever you see, in as much detail as you can remember.

_The Way of Dreams_

Use the method of dream programming given in the fourth Grimoire (by SharTasha--ed.) to cause yourself to dream about your true nature.

_The Way of Returning_

If you have the ability to travel in the astral, simply tell yourself to go "home" and see where you land. If you do not wish to try this, think again (as in the Way of Reason) about what kind of setting you enjoy most--whether it be deciduous forest near a stream, or a rocky oceanside, or desert plateaus, or a city of crystalline spires. Create a picture of such a place in your mind, with as much detail as you can. Then mentally step into this image and explore it. Take note of whatever, and whoever, you find there, and should you pass any reflective surface, look into it. If there are people, see what they call you, or if you can entice them into saying your name. (Depending on your natural ability and practice, this may become either a real journey to your original home, or a fancy based on the exploration of your subconscious memory, but either will do for this purpose.)

_The Way of Imagery_

These are inward journeys. Learn them as well as you can before doing them, or have someone read them as you practice them, or record them for yourself. Play quiet instrumental music if you find it helpful for meditation.

Version One: The Falls

Take a moment to relax and move into your center. (Centering is explained in GG1--ed.) Now begin to see that you are in a small clearing within a great forest. Before you is a small, clear lake. The evening sky reflects perfectly on its glassy waters, and in the remaining light you can still see the colorful pebbles and smooth stones that line the bottom. You hear running water, and looking to your right, you see that the lake ripples at its end, beneath a small waterfall, not more than ten feet tall and five wide. The falling water shimmers, almost radiates its own light. You feel drawn to the healing waters--for you remember hearing that they have such powers--and you walk toward the falls. As you walk, you strip away your clothes, your cares, all the trappings of the mortal coil that you have carried with you to this sacred ground. As you come to the point where the waterfall and lake meet, you see that there is a large, flat stone for you to stand upon. You step onto it--it is not slick--and as you stand beneath the falling water, it takes on even more light. You feel as if glittering diamonds or stars were falling all around you, filling you, illuminating you, cleaning away all masks and illusions. The very sound of the water seems almost to speak, in high, clear voices, about your name and your history. (Take your time here.) When you feel completely cleansed and refreshed, walk back along the shore to a quiet spot on the lake, and look down at your reflection. How has it changed? How do you feel now? If you wish, explore the surrounding area for a while. When you feel it is time to leave, give thanks aloud to the spirits of this place, put on your human guise and its clothing--free now of their heaviness--and gently become aware of your physical form, your feet, your hands, your eyes. Awake.

Version Two: The Library

Center yourself, as in Version One. As you shift your awareness, you see that you are standing before a great building. Statues grace the courtyard in which you stand, and a fountain: the building itself reaches almost as far as you can see, with a domed roof in the center, and before the great front door are four pillars, and before them are the steps you must climb to go inside. You feel an urge to wash your hands and face at the fountain before you go up the steps--do this, because the building itself is sacred. When you reach the door, you see that a picture is carved into the wood. Remember as much as you can of this picture. Inside, under the dome, are row upon row of books, more than you can count. The place seems lit by no source you can see, but glows with a faint golden light of its own. At a desk to your left, someone calls to you, and as you turn, you see a being whose gender you cannot guess. This being too is radiant, silvery-white. You tell the being that you would like to see your personal record. The being smiles and turns to fetch it, and in a surprisingly short time has brought you a thick hardback book. It feels like it is bound in leather, though it is not quite like any leather you know. The being leads you to a quiet alcove, in which there is a desk and chair. The being tells you to read here, and to bring the book back to the front desk when you are finished. Then you are left alone to your research. You look at the binding of the book on the side, where the title should be. Remember any name or symbol you see here; it belongs to you. You decide to read the first chapter, which tells about your pre-physical self. The book is illustrated with pictures that seem to move as you watch them. The book is written in a strange alphabet, but you find that you can understand the meaning. Perhaps it changes into a language you can read, or you hear the words being translated in your head, or you simply know what they mean, or even come to understand the language of the writing directly. Other chapters of the book contain information about other lives you have led. Take as much time to research as you need. When you are finished, take the book back to the being at the front desk and thank it for its help, then walk back out the door and down to the fountain. Gently begin to be aware of your physical form, your feet, your hands, your eyes. Awake.

_The Way of Conflict_

This is a way you cannot truly choose; it chooses you. Neither is it the most pleasant way, but it does happen.

You may find that a particular being, or a particular type of being, is hostile toward you. You can use this misfortune to stir your memory. Perhaps you can divine the motive behind the being’s antipathy toward you, and from this you may begin to determine what nature of being you are that would so anger this one. Often an astral enemy will either deliberately prompt your memory (so that you can remember something awful that it did to you once), or will fight you harder when you are closer to the truth (because it is afraid of your Awakening). Either of these will aid you in your search if you are aware of the possibilities.

_The Way of Harmony_

If you choose who you tell with care, sharing fragments of your memory with others of our kind may help your memory return faster. Be sure to test new information for consistency and "feel" before taking it to be true, to avoid group flights of fancy.

Grimoire contents Article contents

The Witches' Pyramid as an Ethical Checklist

by Estara Korai

"An it harm none, do what you will." AHH, the Wiccan Rede. Wiccans argue about what it means, other pagans gnash their teeth when you apply it to them, and apparently, several Guardians wonder what to make of it.

No, no, don’t worry, I’m not about to launch into one of the many interpretations of the Rede that get bandied around the Internet, because it’s about as relevant as discussing the King James Bible quote, "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live." Not all Guardians are Wiccan to begin with, and fewer are Christian, so measuring ourselves by those standards or arguing against them is meaningless. And a Guardian with any sort of warrior or protective function is unlikely to get through a lifetime with their nose totally clean by the "harm none" standard. It’s simply not compatible with a warrior function. (And, although I’ll spare you the full force of my exegesis on the Rede, if you take "harm none" to mean "harm no life" instead of "harm no human," as some people do, it becomes merely a noble but totally unworkable sentiment.)

And yet, obviously, we *do* need some sort of ethical standard by which to perform. We want to avoid falling into ego wars, power trips, excessive use of force, harm or manipulation of innocents. We do want to retain a spiritual focus, and we do want what we do to be for the ultimate good. What else can we use as a measure?

I suggest the Witches’ Pyramid. The Pyramid, shared by Wiccans and Ceremonialists, is To Know, To Will, To Dare, and To Keep Silent. With some thought, these rules can be applied not only to the act of magick itself, but also to exploring our motives and objectives when we plan to do magick. While releasing us from a code we cannot uphold, it gives us a replacement that remains fairly rigorous. Try it and see what you think.

TO KNOW

*Do you know all of the pertinent facts and details about the situation for which you plan to use magick?

*Are you aware of any hidden agendas that the client (or you) might have in regards to this situation? Is their (your) perspective on the situation biased?

*Have you heard other sides of the story? Are your sources of information trustworthy?

*Have you thought through the long-term consequences of your involvement in the situation on a magickal level?

TO WILL

*Is the action you’re considering in harmony with what you perceive to be your spiritual purpose?

*Do you honestly believe that the spell you want to do will be for the ultimate benefit of yourself and all others involved?

*Do you honestly want to do a working for this situation, or do you feel pressured in some way to perform?

TO DARE

*Are you willing to take karmic responsibility for what happens with this working, -whether it works or not?-

*Are you willing to clean up after yourself if the spell goes wrong?

*Are you willing to back up the spell with the necessary work on the physical, emotional, and mental levels? Or is the spell meant as a "quick fix?"

*Do you have any reason to be afraid of people finding out about your involvement? If called before a Council to justify your actions, could you?

TO KEEP SILENT

*Would you still be doing a working if no one was ever going to give you credit for it?

*Are you motivated by a desire to impress or frighten people, to have control over them or their decisions, or by an honest and simple desire to help?

*Have you been asked to act in this situation? Do you have permission from the person(s) involved? Are you pressing others into accepting your help and your opinions?

Grimoire contents Article contents

On the Selection of Clients--an instructional email

by BjoernHart

(Editrix’s note: names have been deleted or changed for the privacy of those involved.)

The conversation is already in progress. Basically, my student had committed himself to purifying and reconsecrating a stone circle on UU Church land that had been desecrated. I was helping him figure out how to do this and suggested that he recruit the UU minister to help.

******************************

>> Well, I gotta be truthful - when you suggested I get the UU minister involved in this, I thought "He is really out of his mind!". And I thought of a half-dozen ways I could weasel my way out of it. I really thought she was either going to laugh me out of the church, or have me arrested. Or committed. But, in the end, I realized I either had to do this (and do it right!), or get the Hel out of Dodge.<<

My SOP these days is that I won't work magic for anyone who isn't interested in helping in some capacity. You'll find that there are a lot of people who are happy to play the role of victim and put you in the role of rescuer. If' they're not willing to contribute to the energy work that is being done for their benefit, then they don't really need the help. Even if it is nothing more than standing in circle. I know this may sound callous, but we are few and far between, and we are only mortal, our resources are finite, and if you try to help everyone with a sob story then you're gonna burn out. Even if the person lives thousands of miles away, they need to take responsibility for their own lives and take active steps to take responsibility for their own well-being.

In addition, magic that is done on or for a location, such as a banishing or a warding, *must* involve the person who has control of the property (tenants are perfectly acceptable if it is a rental property). This is because it is *their* property. They control it, they must decide what energies are and are not allowed in. If you tried to do a warding of a house (or a ritual site) without the person who is responsible for the site being present, a psychic conflict could develop between the two of you. When anyone does a warding, they set their energy to keep out what *they* feel should be kept out. If the person with control of the property feels differently, then they will on a psychic level begin to undermine the effectiveness of the ward and either negate or usurp the energy the actual magic worker put into the ward. As the "magic worker" in question, your job is to provide the energy and the matrix for the UU minister to then determine what activities will and will not be permitted at the site. For anything else to be successful would require you to wrest control of the site from her, which is hardly ethical or feasible.

To give you an example. Last year, mutual friends connected me with a woman named Susan. Susan had a problem. She had Night Visitors that would come and lurk around her bed and frighten her. Our mutual friends did an assessment and determined that there was some psychic manifestation in Susan's apartment and called on their friendly neighborhood Exorcist (me!) to make it all better. On initial descriptions I assumed that the Night Visitors were emanations of Susan's own subconscious. (At least 90% of all psychic disturbances are the result of the frustrated energies of a person who lives on or near the site.) However, when I showed up at Susan's door to make my own assessment, I could tell that there was something not "right" about her apartment. When she let me in, the first thing that I noticed was a psychic "stench" of anger and frustration. The second thing I noticed was that the apartment was a pig sty. We're talking health hazard filth. Well, its not my business to comment on other people's life styles, so I found a (relatively) clean space to set up and went to work determining what the problem was.

It turned out that there were *two* problems. They were both emanations from a couple who had lived in the apartment a few years before. We're talking a classic abusive relationship. He would come home from work, get drunk and then beat his wife if the apartment wasn't spotless and his meal wasn't waiting for him, and she wasn't ready to fuck. The emanations were a mingling of his rage at what he perceived to be his wife's failings, and her fear over not living up to his expectations. Well, with Susan's lack of housekeeping skills, this energy had worked itself into a tizzy. The two emanations had developed into full-fledged self-willed fetches who preyed on the twin emotions of fear and rage (spontaneously generated fetches feed off of the emotions that went into their creation). So they were provoking those emotions in Susan so they could snack off her energy.

At that time, I wasn't up to doing a major banishing. I had an iv tube sticking out of my arm, and still only weighed 190 lbs. But the tube was scheduled to come out in less than a month so I mixed up some pacifying and purifying incense for Susan, and calming bath salt and told her that the thing that provoked the entities into attacking her was the state of her apartment and that she had a choice of either moving out, or learning how to keep house better. (Btw, Susan worked 2 days a week and lived off of an inherited trust - it certainly wasn't lack of time that made her a slob.) Well, this was completely unacceptable to Susan! She wanted me to "fix it." She didn't see any correlation between changing her lifestyle and improving her psychic environment. She didn't want to be involved in any banishing because it might be "scary." I told her, fine. At least clean your house and keep it clean until I can dispel these entities for good. That was also not acceptable to her. She would rather put up with screaming nightmares of being beaten and raped than clean her house. At that point I washed my hands of the situation. She wanted me to rescue her, and she wanted to take no responsibility for the psychic health of her environment or her own life, and I *knew* that if I helped her out, she would find other crises that *needed* my intervention and helped her deny any ownership to her problems.

The reason why I'm telling you this is to point out something that you're going to start encountering. As you come into your power, especially as a Guardian, you're going to start attracting people who want your help. Some of them will genuinely be over their heads and facing something that is beyond their capacity to deal with. These are the distinct minority. The others *want* your help, they don't need it. They want an enabler, and you, of all people, should know where that trap goes. So anytime you are called on to help someone in a magical capacity, the things you've got to assess are:

1) Is the problem a figment of the person's imagination, or a delusion?

2) Is the problem an emanation of someone's emotional disturbance?

3) Is the person willing to take ownership of how they've contributed to the problem?

4) Is the person willing to accept responsibility for correcting the problem, and only use you as a "technician?"

5) Is the person ready to make the changes in their life that are necessary to ensure that the problem won't recur?

How you answer those questions will determine whether or not you *should* get involved even before you determine if there is anything you *can* do to help.

Grimoire contents Article contents

Empathy

by Niniane BriteDragon

_Empathy: How to Deal with it_

So you are an Empath... what does that mean? Are you the type that feels what others are feeling around you? Or do you project to all those around you and they feel what you are feeling? Well... here is the deal about Empaths... we are all Empaths to one degree or another. (Now that is a scary thought isn't it??) We all have the ability to feel and project. But there are Empaths out there who are not only stronger, but are more than capable to use this Gift in their daily lives. (Have I scared you yet???)

Before you go overboard, let me explain. I am an Empath. I have both projecting and receiving capabilities. I can, by nature, pick up whatever someone around me feels and I can change those feelings. The best example I can come up with, is that I don't drink... but put me in a room full of drunks and I become drunk.

But I don't try to change what people around me are feeling. It is not only unethical... it is just plain WRONG!!!!! How would you like it if someone tried to change what you feel and how you feel it??? That is the key to using the Empathic Gifts you are given.

Let's look at what the Gift is....

Empathy is an ability to relate to what people are feeling and to relate to others what you are feeling. It is "knowing" what the emotions around you are and being able to put a name on it. Sounds easy??? Yes and no. If you are a closed personality, you may never notice what kind of emotional maelstrom is around you. This is not a bad thing, mind you. There are worse things in the world. But if you are open to the emotions that are around you, if you can feel them as vividly as your own, then you have an opportunity to learn about and understand those around you.

Livning produces "sound". I can't think of another way to describe it. Everything around you helps to produce this sound. In my mind it is like white noise. Always in the background, always there. As an Empath, I can't be in the in the same room with alot of people. It is too exhausting. To me it is like being at a large party, all the time. The hum of voices and not always being able to hear the conversation that you are involved in without a lot of concentration. It is very tiring.

Not much is really written about Empaths, save for the occasional sci-fi story. (thanks to Deanna Troi.... :) However... Empathy does not work the way that Deanna Troi uses the gift. It is not really an off shoot of Telepathy or any other Gift. It is a Gift in and of itself.

_The Ethics of Empathy_

Let's look at using this Gift in a well adjusted and ethical manner....

First off, never.... ever... use this Gift to change someone's feelings and emotions. Like I said before, this is Wrong. Like magick, it can and will rebound and bite you in the ass. As a Guardian, you may be a Spiritual Warrior, but you can not make anyone accept who and what you are. I am not saying you have to live an exemplary life, or be a hermit. Just remember that everyone around you has the right to feel what they feel and live with what they are feeling. As a Guardian, you must be asked for direct intervention. Don't just do it because it seems right at the time, make sure that you are invited first.

Secondly....There are an awful lot of people in this world who would like to get a hold of you and test your Gift. Unless you go around telling the world that you are an Empath and flaunting the Gift, being tested is one of the most annoying things in the world! When I do a reading, not only do I use questions, answers and the Tarot, I also use the Gift. I can get a better "read" on people that way. However, doing a reading, then being asked as to how I came up with my reading, then being questioned on the Gifts that I use at my disposal...I guess the question that ticks me off the worst is "What am I feeling right now?" How in the name of all that is Holy, should I know? My shielding is old and very strong, and I have been at this Empathy thing for several centuries. (O.K... I admit.... several millennia.... )

Third... Always remember that as an Empath, you are a very unique person. You have a gift that that can be great boon... or it can be a true pain in the ass.

_The Glories of Shielding_

Every Emapth that I know, whether they are Guardians or not, shield as a matter of course. Too much emotion around you, not only exhaust you, they can drive you nuts and even possibly do alot of damage. Not only to your mind, which is a delicate system, but to your immune system.... Emapaths are notorious for picking up every bug within a 60 mile radius.(read Estara Korai's article in the last issue on maintaining your health....That and chicken soup.... hey it can't hurt!)

Now..... to the serious stuff about shielding.... It's kind of like a force field. It keeps the ugly stuff out and helps maintain a balance between you and the world. As I said before... my own shielding is not only very old, but can be very visible if you look carefully enough.... It is based on some very old rituals and spells that are no longer used, nor are they easy to do in this time/place. (So I won't bore you with the details on how to build them....They tend to shine like a beacon that says..."Good Eats Here" )

Quiet, well built shields are the key... If you can achieve it, you have a great place to retreat from the world and the noises that living creates. The best way to achieve the quiet effect is to find a quiet place where you won't be disturbed. Listen to soothing music ( I find Bach and Vangelis and Gregorian Chants work best for me....) . Concentrate on the beauty of the music, on the beauty of the life that is around you. Draw the harmony from the music and the things around you. Draw it in to yourself and feel how it lifts you up. Let it quietly sink into your being.... When there is too much "noise" around you listen to the harmonies that play inside you... Let them soothe your tired "ears" . That is a "quiet shield".

_Empathic Healing_

Sounds odd, doesn't it? Empathic Healing.... Well... I can't give you a how to, but I can describe some of the healing techniques and how I think they work....

Emotional Healing

I am an Empathic Healer. I don't do bodies. I can't seem to fix them like I want to. BUT.... I can help ease people who come to me emotionally. I am not talking about changing their viewpoint or their emotional stand. I can help them feel what they need to feel and protect them from the more destructive feelings. I do this by letting these emotional flow and crash over my shielding, like the surf crashes into the beach. Since my shielding is set up to absorb this energy, it funnels it into refueling the shielding. Sounds kind of weird... I know... but I do alot of the "cry on my shoulder" stuff.

Physical Healing

This tends to follow the "laying on of Hands" type of healing. Opening the chakras...It can be a very good way of dealing with illness. and very soothing to not only you, but to the person that you are working on....

Here's the real deal on Healing... don't try it until you are trained and ready and truly feel that this is your calling. I have been attacked, not only by the person that I was working on... But by uglies that like to dine on filet of Empath....

Well... I hope that I didn't scare you all too badly about the use of your Empathic Gifts... They can be rewarding, as well as challenging!

Brightest Blessings to all!!!!!

Grimoire contents Article contents

Sound, Powerpoints and Leylines

by Illusgraph

Sound has become an increasingly important aspect in many areas, especially in the area of healing. Actually, it is more accurate to say vibrations, for sound is our perception/translation of what vibration is. Vibrations, of course, go above and below our range of perception, but it has been through sound that we have come to understand the mechanics of vibration. Sound/vibration has the potential of becoming one of our greatest tools, in medicine, and in science in general. It is also a great bridge between realities, for it permeates between the Worlds. Everything is energy, all Worlds, all Realities; and vibration is what moves it all, and in many ways, is life itself. Certainly, it is the Dance. Music is a tremendously powerful tool, it is especially potent to humans when the Artist has sought to create something that is entrained to us. Entrainment is when the rhythm/beat of the music is based on the human/mammal heartbeat. It tends to alter our awareness, linking us into the flow of Nature and allowing us to become more aware of it.

Nature Herself vibrates, makes sounds and is highly affected by sound and music. As incarnated humans, music rightly becomes our gift back to Her and can become a method of communicating with Her, becoming one with her. Like Her, we are energy, and like Her, we have a grid of energy all about and through us. This grid can be activated and moved through the vibrations of sound and music. Both ours and Hers. The grid of energy about the Earth is often referred to as leylines; and like the points along our bodies, which includes the chakras, the Earth has points or powerpoints which can be activated in much the same way as we would ours. Yet, we ourselves can become a sort of moving powerpoint, a sort of 'key', if you will, that through proper approach and training is able to open the Earth's grid and allows us access between the Worlds.

In my work as a Bard, I am beginning to slowly and carefully work with others on activating leylines between ourselves, mostly focusing on each other's residences rather than each person as the powerpoints at this time. The more that one actively does ritual, creates sacred space and does protective work for their powerpoint, the more potent it can become. The idea is to both resonate within the fabric of the Earth's grid Herself and to create a 'House between the Worlds'. In many ways this is very similar to astral temples, though it is not as contingent on a group and is really meant more as a personal passageway to other dimensions. It is also hoped that by doing this work that I shall come to understand the Earth's true Powerpoints and Leys. I believe that there is a whole science to be gained through that sort of work, that there are songs that could be sung-sounds that directly affect and activate these energy grids.

I am especially aware of the great pulse that shall arrive in the year 1999 with the solar eclipse in Cornwall. The eclipse in Cornwall shall have a very strong impact for the direct eclipse shall be basically at the Western tip of Cornwall in Land's End. When there is a solar eclipse, the energy is blocked and backed up, then released after the eclipse, creating a sudden flooding of energy that shall streak over Cornwall and Great Britain. If some understanding of how to utilize or soften this flood can be discovered, we may also see the beginning of a vibrant science, more organic and in tune with the Earth, rather than the potential of war and destruction that this sort of eclipse often portends. I am expecting that the key here is again sound and vibration.

I am only beginning to do this work, mainly focusing on personal leys and powerpoints before even considering the Earth's. As in Feng Shui, I see the ley energies as feminine and masculine, tending to appear as either a dragon(masculine) or a horse/unicorn(feminine). (The energies that shall be streaking through Cornwall, 'I believe', shall be dragon energy.) These images may differ for others, but they work well for me. When I go along the leys, I see myself as 'riding' either a dragon or a horse (sometimes unicorn) and I am very aware of the rather electrical feel that they have. My largest concern is that the energy can sometimes pop or crack like electricity does, and one does need to take care not to move too quickly or forcefully. Yet, understanding this energy as electrical in effect, we may find keys to its utilization. (Sound that facilitates lightning{electricity} between the Sky and Earth is something to consider, as lightning is now found to be an ingredient to stimulate fertility in the Earth.) The dragon seems to 'dance' more to me and is a little more difficult to ride, so I often tend to choose to ride the horse/unicorn at this time. I go back and forth to other's places, having either seen photographs or visualizing from memories via actual visitation. I am highly visual in nature, going into a meditative state where I rely mostly on visualization to do this work. It is as easy or difficult as that, depending on one's experience.

I am also looking to find the sound, note or chord of each point, recognizing that the leys may have them as well. I believe that in ancient times there were those who traveled the leys between the powerpoints, reciting and singing at intervals to help maintain the balance and fertility of the Earth. I believe that the creation of leys between myself and others shall help increase knowledge and balance between those I work with. I also hope that I am laying down groundwork to understand a larger science and a greater balance. Of course, I propose nothing without a great amount of care, protection and forethought in anyone who considers moving in this direction. Yet, I also hope that I shall connect with others beyond my present circle with this work; for, in time, it shall take others, perhaps many others, to truly facilitate a real and lasting effect for the health and continued fertility of the Earth.

Grimoire contents Article contents

Faith and Skepticism

by Estara Korai

*Psychological disclaimer: if your Apophis stage (explained below) features serious symptoms such as substance abuse, hallucinations, or suicidal thoughts, please seek professional assistance.*

It happens to everyone every so often, myself included. You’ll be going along, keeping your Sabbats and doing your everyday spiritual and magical workings, and everything seems to be fine, when everything just seems to go dull. Your intuitions are off, or your spells go haywire, or the thought creeps into your head, "So, I’m sitting here at work, talking to a dragon in my head? What, am I out of my *mind?*"

It may help you to know that several occult authors consider this to be progress.

Let me digress for a moment into the balance of faith and skepticism that is important for the effectiveness and sanity of any worker of magic. On one hand, faith must play a role in the spiritual and magical realms, since they are usually imperceptible and essentially unprovable by physical science or the physical senses. Too much doubt only eats away at your ability to trust your abilities and perceptions, and eventually at those abilities and perceptions themselves. On the other hand, if you are going to deal with the Otherworld on a regular basis, you must learn to measure how "true" your perceptions are, and how reliable are your otherworldly companions--otherwise you will stop growing or be sold a bridge by a spirit looking for laughs at your expense.

And so, in normal workings, it pays to keep a certain mindset. Assume, for your own sanity, that your experiences are essentially genuine. (In fact it often doesn’t matter ultimately whether a particular journey is into another realm or into your own head, as long as you use the information to improve yourself. The growth will be genuine either way.) However, do compare notes with others who take the same journey if you work in a group. You will probably find that over time, with practice, you will more and more be sharing the same experience, and this is an extremely gratifying thing to discover. It also allows for things like a group journey to find a single totem or guide who is willing to help an entire coven. You will be able to compare the quirks of how you perceive the other worlds and energy, and learn where you may be strong or weak in your skills. Another good idea is to research any teachings you receive from astral guides, or any past life memories. You may find confirmation of what you have been taught or have remembered, which is again very gratifying. You may also find clarification of what was meant that will encourage even more development for you. Or you may find no such confirmation, and know that you need more clarification--and possibly some revisions--before you can trust and use the information.

But we were talking about the other kind of doubt--the one that comes and sits on your head when you’re about to do something important and whispers unpleasant nothings in your ear. If you were raised Christian, it may whisper about delusion and devil worship. If you were raised agnostic or atheist, it may deride your work as superstitious nonsense. If you have trouble with your self-esteem, it will poke fun at the "specialness" of being able to do magic. It will find your weakness and poke at it with a pointed stick.

It’s you. And as I mentioned, it is by several accounts a sign that you are getting somewhere.

Aleister Crowley defines this as an "Apophis stage." He defines the study of magic as a continuing three-part cycle, and names the stages Isis, Apophis, and Osiris, after Egyptian gods. (By the way, the initials are IAO, a divine name from Hermeticism that has several other applications in ceremonial magic.) In the Isis stage, we have just begun a certain phase of development. Everything comes easily, and we feel quite good about ourselves and our studies. But then, Apophis comes. Our abilities seem to dry up, or at least become very difficult to use, and we are plagued by dark thoughts of failure. We can give up here: many people do. We can leave the occult entirely, or move into another Isis stage in another discipline. But to deepen, we have to keep working through Apophis to get to Osiris. In the Osiris stage, our abilities return, different than before, in the light of our new understanding. We have gained wisdom and depth that will enrich all of our future cycles.

For Wiccans, it will not take much imagination to compare this cycle to that of Life, Death, and Rebirth that we celebrate, or to the initiation in which we are tried, and symbolically die and are reborn. For followers of the Northern paths, a comparison might be made to Odin’s willingness, time and again, to sacrifice of himself to gain more magic and wisdom.

Of course, not every passing "This is silly" thought develops into a dark night of the soul, but even the smaller ones can serve as signposts. Marian Green, in her book _A Witch Alone,_ discusses the momentary doubts that plague each of us at some point.

"If you commit yourself to the Hidden Paths or walking the Old Ways you will certainly be in for some surprises. The most common of these are the feelings, which never entirely go away, of "Why on Earth am I doing this? Why am I wearing this strange robe, talking to trees or invisible beings, thinking that "spells" can possibly work in the twentieth century?" You will often find, right in the middle of a meditation or ritual, such thoughts creeping into your head, making you feel a fool. This is a sure sign that your magic is working, for you have so certainly stepped out of your normal role in life or set aside, just for the moment, the very ordinary self to adopt that magical inner personality, that it is trying to reassert what it considers normality. It never entirely goes away, as any adepts you come across will tell you, and even after decades of participating in celebrations, speaking directly with the Old Ones, venturing into the wilderness, both without and within, this sense of amusement, of fun and wonder, never really dies. It is a recollection that you are indeed straying from the ordinary world and it should never trouble you, just provide a moment’s humour when the power is coming through."

Keep on with Guarding, with faith, a sense of humor, and a single grain of salt, and blessed may you be.