The Lord gave Noah design plans and six months to build an Ark before the great flood, but after the time had passed and the rain began to fall, the Lord saw that Noah was sitting in his front yard, weeping and there was no Ark.

"Lord, please forgive me!" begged Noah. "I did my best. But there were big problems! I had to get a building permit for the Ark construction project, and your plans didn't meet code. So I had to hire an engineer to re-draw the plans. I got into a big fight over whether or not the Ark needed a fire sprinkler system. My neighbor objected, claiming I was violating zoning by building the Ark in my front yard, so I had to get a variance from the city planning commission. I had problems getting enough wood for the Ark because there was a ban on cutting trees to save the Spotted Owl. I tried to explain there'd be no owls at all if I didn't get that wood, but no dice. Then the carpenters formed a union and went on strike! Then I started gathering up animals and I got sued by animal rights group that objected to me taking only two of each kind. Just when I got the suit dismissed, EPA notified me that I couldn't complete the Ark without filing an environmental impact statement on your proposed flood. The Army Corps of Engineers wanted a map of the proposed new flood plain, so I sent them a globe. Just recently, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to avoid paying taxes by leaving the country. And I just got a notice from the state about owing them some kind of use tax. At this rate, I really don't think I can finish the Ark for at least another five years!"

Suddenly, the sky began to clear. A rainbow arched across the sky. Noah looked up and smiled. "You mean you're not going to destroy the earth?" Noah asked hopefully.

"No need," the Lord said. "The job's already done."

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