WHY CATS SOMETIMES CLIMB TREES

© 1997, Clayton Davis

Old Limp-And-Howl slept peacefully under the front porch, all day if he could. Stray cats didn't bother him at all.

He was known here and there as a Coon Hound, and would sometimes reinforce the legend, but not often.

Uncle Charley's nephew was only eight years old, apt to believe most anything. Charley would tell things that required believing, but not analyzing.

Way in the distance they heard the piercing scream of the village fire station siren. It was mounted on the peak of the roof, just at the edge of the parking lot. There was where the volunteer firemen parked when they woke up, got in their cars and drove to the fire station. That was the piercing siren's job, wake up volunteer firemen. Never mind that most of the neighborhood heard it too.

This was a lazy August afternoon, so everyone round and about was awake, those who were sober. Middle of the afternoon, the nephew wondered why.

"What's that racket, Uncle?"

"Fire department. Listen. There goes the ladder truck."

It was on its way to a neighbor, three houses down. Their cat had treed. There it sat, way in the top of the tallest backyard Maple Tree.

"What's it doing up there?" Nephew asked, as the ladder extended.

"Listen to what it's saying." Uncle Charley cocked his head.

Nephew tilted his, listening carefully. "Sounds like crying."

"It's telling the firemen it won't budge."

"Why?"

"That's what I thought it said." Charley tilted his head philosophically.

"What?"

"Said it ain't coming down until we neuter old Limp-and-Howl."

The cat had observed Limp-and-Howl when he greeted humans, using the traditional leg hug to show his affections. That big brute just might get it into his head to try it on a neighbor's cat. Yes, probably would, sooner or later. Better be safe and tell the authorities. Yes, that nice fireman on the ladder. He would take action. Look at that shiny truck with flashing lights.

The sometimes Coon Dog snuffed in the dirt beneath the front porch. He knew why the cat was up there. It had taken two lungs full of catnip and shinnied up that tree. Cats do that, climb the nearest tree. And like drunk humans, they'll accuse total strangers of the most bizarre thing they can think of.

"Alter your dog? Why?"

"Well, nephew. The cat probably sobered up and blamed its misery on the first enemy it thought of."

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