Miscellaneous English texts

Daniil Charms: Like everybody did

(a parody by Serge Winitzki)

Varyonov was sitting on the chair for a long time, until he finally did the same. I thought: what's going on? but then Kashin came by and started going for it again and again, and I didn't know what to think any more.

Kol'ka has been playing chess there with Vas'ka for ages; but then he suddenly did the same.

Konstantin Alexandrovich thought for an hour straight, until his head hurt, and decided to do the same. Valerian Sigizmundovich looked at him and laughed to himself: will that guy do it or not? will he or won't he? Konstantin Alexandrovich knew that Valerian Sigizmundovich was looking at him, and hesitated. What would Valerian Sigizmundovich say about him, he pondered. But then he still did it - the same.

Life gets so boring with such people around.

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Administration

This phrase contains:
two     words "and",
two     words "this",
two     words "phrase",
two     words "contains",
two     words "seven",
seven   words "two",
nine    words "words",
and two words "nine".


This phrase contains:
	the word "this" - twice,
	the word "phrase" - twice,
	the word "contains" - twice,
	the word "the" - thirteen times,
	the word "word" - thirteen times,
	the word "twice" - nine times,
	the word "times" - six times,
	the word "thirteen" - three times,
	the word "six" - twice,
	the word "nine" - twice,
	the word "and" - twice,
	the word "also" - twice,
    and the word "three" - also twice.







						(P. M. Hubbard)
		Repeat Performance

	"False, false!" young Richard cried, and threw the stone
	  Into the lake, and gave her in its stead
	A single rose. Pacing the shore alone,
	  "Deceived, deceived!" he cried: which done and said,
	  He put the pistol up against his head
	And, though he wasn't very good at gunnery,
	  Could hardly miss. As soon as he was dead,
	Fair Isabel retired into a nunnery.
	
				*
	
	So ends my tale. In case you came in late,
	 Where, when and why these various things were done,
	  Whether the stone was his, or hers as well,
	  And whether IT was false or Isabel,
	 And why he died and she became a nun,
	I will recall and in due course relate.


						Daniil Charms
	 From "The Zdagger Upper story" 
                       (first poem, translation by Serge Winitzki)

Petr Pavlovich (entering the room):

		Zdagger Upper Ooster Ooster
		I am carrying someone's elbow
		Zdagger Upper Ooster Ooster
		Where's Professor De Dispenchin?
		Zdagger Upper Ooster Ooster
		Where on Earth are office hours?
		If this little clockie dangling
		Its two weights a-reaching down
		Oldish clockie while still pending
		Flew an arc without a frown
		Zdagger Upper Ooster Ooster
		I broke down the rhythm of time
		Carabeester on a booster
		Works instead of Zdagger Upper
		Hand is stretched ever farther
		Yielding something arrow-handed
		From one minute to another
		Rushing blindly as if branded
		Right from milk-white clockface down
		Pancake's winding Ooster Ooster
		Tightly wrapped in dressing-gown
		Proudly sits the Carabeester
		He is during office seconds
		Looking into metered engine
		So the time will not be wayward
		Like Professor De Dispenchin
		Like Andrey Semyonych Zdagger
		Single-handed Zdagger Upper
		Cares for Zdagger Upper Ooster
		His lost hand adjusting aptly
		Fixing fingers with a hammer
		Zdagger Upper he is nailing
		Zdagger Upper Ooster them.