These are my ponderings, thoughts about life in graduate school, based on Aaron Karo's Ruminations. They're fictional entertainment and not criticism so don't sue me. - rani
Ponderings #8 - Springy spring
Spring is finally here!
So what does that mean to me? Not much when you don't see the light of day. But it does mean narrowing on one thing in your first year:
CHOOSING AN ADVISOR.
This is a daunting task when you're a lowly first year, trying to figure out what you really want out of the next chunk of your life. You've committed to a life of studentship (maybe I should say, you've been committed...pretty apt), and now it's time to take the next step, the next giant leap, the next big life-changing decision that could make you a millionaire or a poor lowly scrub. But it's not too bad, because they train you well to be a poor lowly scrub, and by the time you're done,
you're used to it. Or so I hear.
It's tough deciding who to pick. This guy has the cool neon-colored post-its available, that one has a mustache (and he's a SHE), the other has a lab full of cute post-docs, and then of course there's the one with the great hair. But these are superficial things - let's talk about the REAL stuff to decide on:
1) lab meetings - what times are they? is there free food? drinks? a key point!
These are issues to be carefully weighed before choosing an advisor. The nice thing about being just a few students with many people to choose from is the nice fights professors have over you.
We have this concept called the rotation. No, it's not a dizziness test (although it does have some similar qualities), but a chance to work with a few different people before deciding who's best. Even this first step may engender heated debates.
Overheard:
It's very gratifying to listen to them argue while you rub your hands together with greed. But there's danger ahead, and as one older grad student warns:
"Beware! They may make such promises now, but they'll suck you in and make you their slaves for life!"
But no one cares. We're voters, and we vote based on the candidates' platforms, even their empty promises.
And when I have made my choice, I'll have a little desk, hopefully piled with tickets to the Tropics, and be working on my paper to Nature. Until then, I don't care about publications! I'm independent, I don't just do what the postdocs tell me, I can think on my own!
Oh! I think I just left the postdoc's experiment running....
And a little acknowledgement would be nice.
Life as a Graduate Student - Spring Issue
2) funding - need I say more??? hey, do you want to be digging newspapers out of the garbage just for grant-writing paper?
3) lab dynamics - make sure you get all the juicy gossip about who's going out with whom and who dumped or GOT dumped by WHOM.
4) equipment - who last burned out the copier and blamed it on someone else? how easily can you get away with NOT changing the toner? what cool games are on the computer?
"You'll cure AIDS!"
"Aah, that's nothing! Work with me and you'll cure ALL the diseases that ever existed!"
"I'll guarantee you a Nature paper!"
"I'll guarantee Science!"
"Yes, that too!"
"You'll never have to write a grant again!"
"I'll write all your grants myself - and you can come over to use my pool anyday!"
"Conferences in Hawaii!"
"Retreats in Aruba!"
"Paid 3-month vacations!"
"A personal assistant!"
"Did you notice my great hair?"