PhD Ponderings



These are my ponderings, thoughts about life in graduate school, based on Aaron Karo's Ruminations. They're fictional entertainment and not criticism so don't sue me. - rani


Ponderings #9 - September-ish
Life as a Graduate Student - september

Fall.

Sorry it's been a while folks. You know the demands of being a grad student as well as I do - all the papers to read, the time you have to put in, the barbecues and lab parties, stuff like that. So bear with me.

After a long summer of dedicated, productive research (insert loud knee-slapping laughter here), working as hard as pigs..umm, I mean, horses, yeah... and accomplishing as much as possible considering our circumstances (which, in all honesty, are dire circumstances), we're ready, eager, and just ready to pee in our pants waiting for the fall term. Right?

Since I don't see too many nodding heads, let me explain. You have a duty to greet the fall - it's a time when the harsh summer sun (what sun?) heads south and the birds follow. It's when the leaves turn pretty colors and the countryside is clothed in fantastic paints. It's when the thoughts turn to comfort and the spirit of the season. It's when you start seeing real people again and going to classes and seminars! Aah, now I've gotcha.

That word "class" sounds like a dirty word, but really it's of great value. Just think, you get to sit in a room full of people in your same situation and gripe for two hours while some strange person babbles on about something you care not a zip about. Or if you do care (what planet are you from?) you get the great privilege of hearing it while the REST of us gripe for two hours. What could be better?

TAing. That certainly COULD be better. I have to start TAing this fall and I have mixed feelings about it - both fear and terror. I'm thinking about people my age who have no respect for professors asking me questions about things that only a flea knows less about. And fleas know less about certain things than these students do, too, like how to suck the blood out of TAs.

I'm looking forward with great interest to the way these students will call me in the middle of my dinner to know how to identify an intestinal carcinoma and then I'll look down at my plate of spaghetti and forever acquire a certain form of ...let's call it disgust... for pasta. I can't wait for the day when I know how to tell them with great poise and equanimity over my bowl of noodle soup that I have no clue what the pons is, and then I'll clutch my neck and say, "Man, my appendix is killing me!" While they're still thinking about it, I can make my getaway.

Then I can hang out in the library looking at the world and head back to my corner of the lab. No one will think to look there.

There I can begin all the work I need to do, especially fixing up my web page and reorganizing my CD collection. You don't get a chance to do stuff like that during the summer 'cause hey, you're on vacation!

But I shouldn't knock research so much. It can actually be fun at times, like when you get to open the NEW bottle of sterile water, or you get a package in the mail. And then there are those times when the PI walks by and smiles and knowingly looks at you and says...absolutely nothing. Those times you know there must be a God, or at least a bum up there who knows what it's like to be a grad student.

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