These are my ponderings, thoughts about life in graduate school, based on Aaron Karo's Ruminations. They're fictional entertainment and not criticism so don't sue me. - rani
Ponderings #10 - October (the next year!)
Halloween.
It's been more than months since I last wrote an issue, hasn't it? I hope
you will consider what I might have been doing during the long months that
have intervened while you waited longingly for this issue (yeah,
whatever):
Was I
If you picked e, you are absolutely, positively
WRONG.
Believe it or not, I was actually working. What? Does this happen, you may
ask. You may wonder what has happened to the standards of graduate
studentship and other ships in the night. You may cast your eyes down and
shake your head and say, "I was afraid of this. I knew someday this would
happen. What has happened to the kids these days?"
But you must cheer up, because in all the time I have been working, I have
accomplished nearly nothing! You must know that I have found comfort in
work without clear results! I have worked diligently without publishing a
paper!
It's almost as good as publishing a paper without working.
Aah publishing. It is that word that sweetens our tongues and makes our
eyes fog with yearning. To have your name in print on smooth glossy pages
alongside your advisors, with a star by your name and a footnote. To have
a set of figures and text following and page numbers in the corners. To
have acknowledgements at the end and references and to be referenced by
others and to be noticed for what you have done!!! Why, it's astonishing.
Well, it's astonishing: your name is misspelled, the star by your name is
for "minor contributions" or "these two authors contributed
equally" (i.e. each did half of what they should have), the page numbers
are 13131313-13131314, and you are referenced by one other paper that
happens to be by someone in your own lab.
It isn't so bad. At least it's published. Think of those poor people who
actually spend months doing experiments and calculations. Then they write
it up, send it to the prof, have it back, edit for another few
months. Send it to a paper, only to have it plastered with a big red
REJECTED. And send it to another, where you get two reviews: one says
BRAVO and the other says BRAVO but sarcastically. You send it elsewhere,
where they say it's too good for us. You send it elsewhere, where they say
you should have sent it to the other one. And another journal says they
don't have "enough space."
When you finally get your paper in, you are thrilled, only to be told you
have 50 revisions to make (including changing your hypothesis). So you
stick to it, change what you can, and are finally informed of your
acceptance: to be published in 2010.
In the meantime, another group publishes the same information. Boy, I love
writing!
Happy Halloween! (Trick or Treat)...
Life as a Graduate Student - october
a) snoozing at my desk over papers
b) scrounging up quarters for last year's taxes
c) begging my advisor for compassion (as if)
d) actually working
e) just kidding about that one :)