Finding My Way Home - A Christian Testimony

After the shock of not being able to return to school in September had begun to wear off, I started making plans for my new life. I had to get on with living, and that meant getting a job! Of course, in my typical carefree fashion, I rationalized that I would work for a year, get my head screwed on straight, and then try again to pursue an education. Therefore, to the end of merely killing one year, I got my first full-time job, an entry-level position at a local textile manufacturing company.

Being my first real job, the pay from that perspective seemed pretty good. I was making a couple of bucks an hour, and I had very few expenses! So, I was both prosperous and content, but those initial good feelings, which had only come from having a little freedom and making a decent wage, did not last. After just three months, I had become totally disenchanted with that employment and was ready to quit. Consequently, at the completion of what turned out to be my final work day, I clocked out, left the facility, and never returned! Because I had never voiced any dissatisfaction to other co-workers, no one on the job was any the wiser. I had quit my job, yet I had not even given the customary two weeks notice!

After quitting that job, I felt even more defeated and frustrated. In a sense, I saw myself as having once again bombed out at something which had had a measure of importance. Yet, at the same time, I still did not know what else to do! Eventually, out of desperation, I began to search for a refuge. I felt that I had to find a way to get a breather from all my problems and also improve the quality of my life! As a result, I ended up at a local bowling alley, a place where I could find a temporary escape from my self-induced misery. At the lanes, I felt among friends, plus I could easily hide my numerous personal setbacks. No one questioned my affairs, no one pried into my disastrous, personal life, and I only had to volunteer basic information about myself. Therefore, because there were no embarrassing questions, I could be myself, relax, and just have some casual fun with others. Unfortunately, while the bowling alley was a nice change and did make a terrific escape from all my troubles, it definitely was not a solution!

One evening, while at the lanes and still only a couple of weeks departed from my first job, what I saw as an opportunity walked in the front door. This individual was a young man about seven or eight years my senior. I did not know him, and he did not know me. But he came to my table, and we got acquainted. Shortly into our conversation, I started unloading on him about my problems. Even though Butch was a complete stranger, I began to share with him many of the personal details of my life, specifically my flunking out of school and also my quitting that first job. I left few stones unturned as I tried to convince him that I only needed one more chance to get my life back on track. Of course, like most losers, I really did believe that all I needed was one good break!

While we talked, my new friend told me about his job as a painter. He also indicated that I could probably obtain employment with his company as a painter's helper. In that line of work, I would cover the next area to be painted, move furniture, bring paint to the painters, and clean up after they were done. The job did not sound too difficult, and I thought that I could handle it. Therefore, I was at his job sight by 7:00 a.m. the next morning, enthusiastic about the possibility of getting a new job and another chance.

For my interview, I spoke with the work foreman, who also happened to be one of the company's owners. He was nice, his questions were short and easy, and he hired me on the spot! So that morning, I began my second ever, full-time job. The work atmosphere seemed more pleasant than at my previous position. The guys were much looser, the work was not very hard, and we took a lot of breaks! As a result, the discomfort and frustrations which I had experienced on my first job were noticeably missing from that new employment, and even though the pay was a little less, the improved conditions provided a reasonable tradeoff which I felt that I could accept. From my perspective, the positives clearly outweighed the negatives, and I was pleased with my decision to accept the new position.

After starting that second job, my new acquaintance and now full-time work mate was becoming a close friend. In only a few days, we had become nearly inseparable, going almost everywhere together. Since he did not drive, I did all the driving. We even carpooled to work! After a couple of days, he brought along several other guys from the job, and they, too, started riding with us. As it turned out, I was the only one of the bunch who drove, yet I never tried to rationalize why that might be. Instead, I was having fun and was too busy to notice that most of these co-workers and now new friends were either on parole or awaiting trial! Because I was still basically naive about so many things, I had somehow once again gotten myself in over my head, and like so many other times in my life, I did not even realize what was happening.

About six weeks later, toward the end of October, I began to see that I was out of my league with my new "friends" and that they really were too much for me. In fact, I was starting to worry about where my relationship with them might lead. After all, most of them were convicted felons, and they, unlike normal people, did not just run from trouble. At times, they actually seemed to relish conflict. Because of my very real concerns, I knew that I had to quit that job, too. So just like before, I clocked out at the end of one of my workdays and never returned. Also like before, I did not tell anyone of my intentions. I just did it!

After quitting that second job, the whole matter, in my mind, was closed, and I was ready to forget about it. However, my friend of only two months, the same person who had gotten me that job, was very disappointed by my irresponsible behavior. Quitting my job after only a few weeks was bad enough, but quitting without giving any notice was even worse. In his opinion, I had made him look bad, and that quickly caused him to become my enemy. Unfortunately for me, he was the wrong person to upset! A few days later, he came to my normal hangout at the bowling alley, and this time, he was looking for me! He was an ex-convict and a pretty good street fighter. I was neither! Consequently, our confrontation was quick, but from my perspective, certainly not so sweet. I had treated him poorly, and in the end, he got his revenge by giving me a much deserved beating. Following our altercation, he left the bowling alley and walked out of my life forever. I have not seen him since, but truthfully, I have always been glad that we went our separate ways!