1. Discuss some important definitions (Boundaries). One can create a self-fulfilling prophesy just by telling someone that they are schizophrenic. B. F. Skinner thought that environment could greatly affect someone. Not all people react the same way to double binds, but double binds were consistently present in those who were schizophrenic. Identified patients (scapegoats), in Marriage and Family Counseling, is the person with the problem. These counselors do not place blame, but it is important to determine the scapegoat. In system theory, the whole family is the patient. Many time, though, the identified patient really is a scapegoat and the one who is bearing the pain for the family. Families almost always select one person to bear all the pain. Why does the identified patient do this, and why do they take on the pathology? Because the scapegoat often fears what might happen if they are not the identified patient or the scapegoat. Many kids fear family breakup, so they take on the family pain to hold the family together. They will do anything to bring their parents together, even be bad. This can also be a reason for rebellion. This is part of system theory, and this may actually be keeping the family together. Functionalism means that there is always a reason for the problem. It happens for a reason, and Marriage and Family Counselors try to find that reason. However, functionalism is losing popularity among some counselors. Almost every family (99.999%) has a scapegoat to one degree or another, and structured boundaries set limits on the problem individual because they have to behave.

Boundaries are usually understood in terms of physical property. In this sense, people also have a certain amount of space that they need. There are personal boundaries. They are invisible barriers that define who we are and who we are not, that give people a sense of limits or personal space, that protect the separation or autonomy of a person, family, or system. It can also be in subsystems, too. Any boundary can either be too rigid or too open or extreme in the other direction. Both extremes are unhealthy. Too rigid means that things do not get in or out. One person can be in multiple boundary situations (work, church, home) and multiple boundary styles across multiple subsystems.

Some optimal family boundaries are similar to the analogy of a cell. The cell has a boundary that maintains structure and identity. When the cell loses its structure, it becomes unhealthy and dies. The boundary of the cell must be flexible enough to allow nutrients in but rigid enough to keep the bad stuff out. This analogy is very similar to the family. What does the family need to be healthy with the outside world? First, there must be balance between protection of the system and interaction with the outside world. Kids need boundaries, or they will not be able to set them for themselves when they age. Second, Boundaries must be permeable so that things can come in and go out (not closed off, not completely open). Third, they must be open to the outside world. Shutting the family off from the outside world is not a good thing to do. Amish kids are even rebelling about their home situation. Fourth, one must have accurate perceptions of the family's strengths and weaknesses. Most families close their eyes to the truth. People do not like to be critiqued, and neither do families. Fifth, when the first four of these characteristics are met (something which does not happen easily), then fresh life will enter into the family.

				Tom of Bethany

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Lesson 5. Boundaries and Early Leaders

 

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