FOR LOVE OF DEATH
3/29/01
I love to flirt with death,
his presence I do take.
He wraps his fingers across my throat
and smooths my velvety soul.
With one glance at him I shutter,
such a man he is.
He shadows me suspiously
and fills my itchy hollows.
My hand he grasps at night,
by light he wanders my prints.
Some day we will be married
with no more hungry fits.
PART sANE
3/23/01
My hollow broken body yearns to be wisped away
to nothingness and eternity where vile demons play.
No where they'll hear my voice.
No one will feel my screams.
All on a cloud of madness crowding my vivid dreams.
Death will be for nothing, life will be too vain.
I'm out here, now hear me, I am but one part sane.
9/18/00
This body I possess, it moves it thinks, it feels.
I lay back and watch the pretty images swim through.
A distant pain issues forth giving me a yelp.
The body jolts in spasms, an intense lead.
Wet liquid streams down the face, a hand comes up to wipe.
I sit back and watch it all, but all I can do is wait.
NEVER KNOW
12/4/00
In my mind, I can see
my face as blank
in disbelief.
Should I yell?
Yet if I do,
will they throw me in jail?
Lock me away.
Pull me around.
Lights swirling,
minds met.
Coming to get me,
won't catch me yet.
Run for life,
my death is sure.
Can't let them stop me,
I'm a murderer.
Leave me my life,
the run is vain.
Don't let ‘em get me.
Give me the blame.
Following my hurt.
Licking my wounds.
Can't ever take me.
You're gonna lose.
Stop to catch me,
stop to trace me.
You'll never know,
you'll never hear,
what it will take
when messing with fear.
Stop it to learn,
stop it to feel.
You'll never see me,
if you don't know.
TONE OF LIES
12/4/00
I've given myself a lie.
A lie not meant to be.
I lived the lie in ignorance.
A lie I did not see.
This lie was love yet not.
I know that now it's false.
I could not see through it,
the mist of pure lust.
Yet now I awake in knowing
it's all a bunch of crap.
Feelings inside may seem right.
They may seem logical,
but now I know in truth
that they are pure hormonal.
Your mind is awake to answers.
You must listen to it's tune.
Listen to the harmony,
the pure sound of tone,
and know when right is right
from when B flat is so.
OPEN CRY
The beauty of your flowing tears enlighten my mind.
Such grief you harvest in that soul of yours.
Only that could be reality.
Your spirit is open, showing a bare humanity underneath.
We all experience that woe, that sorrow.
Such an experience is nothing to in cloak.
Free your mind, don't be ashamed.
Speak your sorrow, there's nothing that can't be done.
UNHEARD FATE
My blindfold whispered over my face .
Bindings held my fists silent.
Capture, at last, to my disgrace.
Their voices hit me violent.
I grunted off their every query.
Never would I desert my gang.
Death they brought me, nearly.
My head wailed to the floor. Bang!
Air I felt around my crisp cuts.
Loud hands were on the carry.
Their crisp laughs emptied my guts.
It was unheard what they did to me.
SPOKEN DEFIANCE
Say you are a mockingbird
and I will cherish your song.
Say you are a candlestick
light envelope your being.
Say you are of demon blood
spawn on your lips, never soul.
Say you have not a shadow
I will fall as your dark clone.
Say your heart is made of stone,
I will show you to be gold.
Say your death has been marked
I will put Death's cloak a flame.
Speak again sweet defiance
and you know I listen still.
FLYING TRAIT
Take me into your grap, undying wind,
so that I may frolic over your finger tips and
spread my arms wide for a graceful flight
on to your feet. Then you may launch me
towards the heavens with the airs of color
streaming blues and pinks at my side,
all for that bird like guality I so dearly crave.
TROUBLED PATHS
Water pours down the window top,
click clapping on the wooden pane.
I sit and watch the people pass,
splashing water like formed shapes.
They chat and laugh at the joys of now,
not knowing the soon future faults.
Not caring for anything but the
next step in front of them,
not seeing there the ice spread in
their path,
not hearing the crack in their lives.
SECRET OF LIFE
Down in the depths I hold my life,
I grasp it within looser every breath.
It came to me one day long gone.
I took it up as my passion since.
My soul did see that glimpse of it
when it came to me as just a mist.
This mist did fly upon my soul,
it took me up in a whirl of wind.
It spun and howled in love and rage,
it twisted and murmured my rearrange.
Now I am body, mind, and soul.
Once again I am alive and vulnerable.