How to Win a Prosh Award

Some of these are serious, some are silly, all are from the Monster! Arranged in the order that Red came up with them!

Sleep with the organizer. Eh...heh heh. No, I'm not giving away details on this one!

Enter your stories, then adopt 5 or 6 different email addresses and sign up to judge 5 or 6 times and give your stories the highest marks! If the Monster catches you doing this, she will KILL you and play tetherball with your head. Not kidding. Death to the first person who tries pulling a stunt like that.

Write good stories. Like, duh. You should be doing that even if you're not entering the Proshes! It's not that hard, really. Open up an English textbook and learn proper spelling and grammar. Be well-acquainted with the characters before you write them. Practice writing. Read over your stories before you post them to make sure they're okay. Come up with original ideas. Practice writing. Pace your stories evenly and briskly, but not dizzyingly fast. Respect canon continuity, unless you're writing an "alternate universe" story where canon continuity is different. Did I mention you should practice writing? Get a betareader or two to make sure you're doing all these things. Okay, so it does take some anal-retentiveness. But it's not impossible. We are also not implying that if your story is any good, it WILL win a Prosh. There are a lot of excellent fics that aren't honored simply because something else was slightly better. But you know you won't take home a Prosh Head if you submit birdcage lining!

Find out who the judges are and submit something you know they all like! I dare ya to try...

Bribe the moderator with chocolate-covered naked Shatterstar clones to mess with the scores.

Hack into the indexed archives and sabotage the other authors' stories to make them really sucky. First, however, you have to hack into the Prosh site's directory to find out which archives are indexed. The Monster doesn't know about all those other archivists, but she will do violence unto any hacker whom she catches hacking into the Prosh site.

Volunteer to design and distribute the trophies, and make at least one with your name on it. This is assuming that Red decides she wants someone else to be in charge of the trophies.