Today another woman died
and not on a foreign field
and not with a rifle strapped to her back,
and not with a large defense of tanks
rumbling and rolling behind her.
She died without CNN covering her war.
She died without talk of intelligent bombs
and strategic targets.
The target was simply her face, her back
her pregnant belly.
The target was her precious flesh
that was once composed like music
in her mother’s body and sung
in the anthem of birth.
The target was this life
that had lived its own dear wildness,
had been loved and not loved,
had danced and not danced.
A life like yours or mine
that had stumbled up
from a beginning
and had learned to walk
and had learned to read.
and had learned to sing.
Another woman died today.
not far from where you live;
Just there, next door where the tall light
falls across the pavement.
Just there, a few steps away
where you’ve often heard shouting,
Another woman died today.
She was the same girl
her mother used to kiss;
the same child you dreamed
beside in school.
The same baby her parents
walked in the night with
and listened and listened and listened
For her cries even while they slept.
And someone has confused his rage
with this woman’s only life.
by Carol Geneya Kaplan
The following information as well as the header, "You Are Not Alone"
For further information and valuable links, please, PLEASE visit this site!!
DEFINITION
Domestic violence is a learned pattern of behaviors used by one person in a relationship to control the other person. The partners may be married or not married, gay or lesbian, living together, separated or dating.
Examples of domestic violence are:
•emotional abuse through mind games, name-calling, or put-downs
The violence can be criminal and includes physical assault (hitting, pushing, shoving, etc.), sexual abuse (unwanted, forced sexual activity), and stalking. Although emotional, psychological and financial abuse are not criminal behaviors, they are forms of domestic violence and can lead to criminal abuse.
The violence takes many forms and can happen all the time or once in a while. An important step to help yourself or someone you know in preventing or stopping violence is recognizing the warning signs listed on the "Violence Wheel."
Anyone can be a victim of domestic violence...young, old, rich, poor, black, white, professional, unemployed. There is no typical profile of domestic violence victims except that they are usually female. Children living in homes where a mother is abused are more likely to be abused themselves. Even if they are not, children who witness abuse are victims.
If you are in an abusive situation, REMEMBER
and the verse, "Another Woman", is taken from:
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HANDBOOK
•isolation from family or friends
•economic abuse by withholding money or being prevented from
getting or holding a job
•actual or threatened physical harm
•sexual assault
•stalking
•intimidation
•You are not alone.
•You are not to blame.
•And, you can get help.
True or False.....
1. Domestic violence affects only a small number of people.
FALSE!!
•According to the FBI, 1 out of every 4 women is a victim of domestic violence at least once in her lifetime.
•In 55% of the cases where men are assaulting their partners, they are also assaulting their children. The battered mother may be suffering from such physical and psychological injuries that
she cannot meet the needs of her children appropriately.
2. Battering is just a momentary loss of temper.
FALSE!!
••The Surgeon General of the United States reports that 1 out of 5 women battered by their partners have been victimized over and over again by the same person.
•The American Medical Association defines domestic violence as
an ongoing, debilitating experience of physical, psychological,
and/or sexual abuse.
3. Domestic violence does not produce serious injuries.
FALSE!!
•The leading cause of injury for women age 15 to 44 is
domestic violence.
•The Michigan State Police statistics show that a woman
is killed by a partner or former partner every 5 days
in Michigan.
4. Leaving an abusive relationship is easy.
FALSE!!
•A study by the United States Department of Justice states
that the most dangerous time for a woman who is being battered
is when she leaves.
•In Michigan, 75% of the women who are killed by their partners
are murdered after the relationship is over or as it ends.
5. Battered women always stay in violent relationships.
FALSE!!
•Many battered women do leave their abusers permanently and
succeed in building a life free of violence.
••Almost all battered women leave at least once.
6. Only poor and minority groups are victims of domestic
violence.
FALSE!!
•People of all socio-economic classes, races, religions, ethnic backgrounds, and sexual orientations can be victims of domestic violence.
7. Only married women are victims of domestic violence.
FALSE!!
•People who are dating, separated, living together, divorced, have a child in common and/or are married, can be abused. Domestic violence can occur in any of these relationships.
8. Women are just as violent as men.
FALSE!!
•In 97% of domestic assaults, the man is the perpetrator of the violence.
IF YOU HAVE A PHYSICAL DISABILITY:
Assailants may perceive people with physical disabilities as easier to control. Assailants often use the disability as another method of control. You may be battered by your personal care attendant. Your caregiver might threaten to withhold food, medication or care.
Because of environmental barriers, people with physical disabilities are already isolated. The batterer may be increasing that isolation through such tactics as removing the wheelchair ramp, removing the T.D.D., or not helping you get places. If you are unable to drive a car, use a bus, or a cab, it could be more difficult for you to escape.
There is a myth that caretakers batter people with disabilities because they are frustrated with taking care of them. This is not true. Assailants batter in order to control.
Help is available through the groups listed in this book. Give them a call.
IF YOU ARE ELDERLY:
If you are no longer independent, you may be depending on
someone for care who is abusing or neglecting you. Many
older people are afraid to report abusive caregivers
for fear of retaliation. You may think that if this
caregiver is out of the picture, you will have nowhere
to go. There is help available for you, too.
Some examples of abuse and neglect that older people may suffer at the hands of their caregivers are: improper use of restraints or medication, threats of punishment or isolation, being left alone for long periods of time, having money stolen, or being deprived of meals, beverages, eyeglasses and hearing aids.
MY NOTE: It is a common assumption that "caregivers" abuse their loved ones in many forms, with abusive restraints, verbal abuse, lack of adequate care, lack of adequate medication, etc.
In many cases this is not the case -- in the case of the "chronically ill" -- one who is terminal or who is facing impending death -- can become very bitter and secretly seemingly "hating" their caregiver while at the same time in the light of day "needing" him/her and loving him/her.
Verbal and physical abuse by the chronically ill done to the caregiver does happen. It is a fact. The statistics may not be known -- but they do exist.....
Surviving the caregiving of the chronically is a mind- draining, physically challenging, emotionally-devastating 24 hour a day, seven day a week "job"........if abuse is heaped atop the list of things that must be done -- that person's personal spirit can be eternally broken -- because she wonders why, when she is doing the best that she can, in the middle of the night during spells of sleep apnea or "night terrors" does she receive the beatings that she receives -- why -- in the light of day does she receivingthe stinging, biting, knife-stabbing sharp painful debilitating words of verbal abuse which she receives.....
Abuse done "to" caregivers is an area of domestic violence I feel has thus far been unexplored and "untapped".
We are beaten with words, looks, ungraciousness, spite, hatefulness, and physical abuse. When one kind word is all we seek to get us through our day.
This is a statistic of "domestic violence" with which you may "not" be aware of.
Do not become a victim -- you can learn to deal with it and then "deal" with it...... Don't let it happen to you twice if you are determined to stay with your loved one for the long run.......Fight back -- not to the point that you bring violence upon yourself -- but do learn to defend yourself without bringing extreme physical harm upon your loved one who is chronically ill.
End of my statement.
THE BATTLE WITH NO WEAPONS
THE PRISON WITH INFINITE BARS
