Just so you know, I can't offer any answers for you on this page, I can just relate to you and inform you.
Everyone has a problem with their body. I would hazard to guess that even supermodels wish that something was different about them. For most people, they are unhappy about their weight - the fat is positioned, or sometimes NOT postioned on their body in all of the wrong places, or so it may seem to us. I have lots of problems with me, and I suppose that is "normal" for a teenage girl. Like many (dear Lord, i hope that my parents don't visit this page...), I have considered taking pills to speed up my metabolism, pills to decrease my appetite, purging, or simply not eating. I have considered these options, but I haven't taken them. Yet. Maybe I will give in someday, maybe I'll continue to hold out. Who knows? Generally, I don't take pills of any kind because scientists are constantly finding adverse effects of different substances. My theory is: "Why put something into my body that isn't necessary when it could quite possibly hurt me worse than it helps?"
I know lots of people who have eating disorders, there are MANY out there. You probably know a few. YOU might even be one. I don't count every calorie that I eat, and I rarely stick to a diet. Hmm, that is stretching it. I NEVER stick to a diet. I really don't diet. I cut way down on my junk food, I eat more fruit and veggies, drink more liquids, eat less snacks, and exercise more. I am not obese. I am not even "fat" Supposedly I am not even overweight, but that doesn't change the way that I feel about who I see when I look in the mirror after a shower, or when I try on a dress. Knowing that I fall into the weight range that I should for my height, build, and the sports that I do doesn't make me feel any better when I look down at the scale. Some people can't understand me when I tell them that at the moment I feel that I am not fat, but I don't like the numbers on the scale, so I need to lose weight. Perhaps if you are reading this page, you understand what I am saying. The numbers, they are too high, I just need to lose this or that much, and then I'll be happy. I haven't REACHED the numbers that I want to reach, but I know that if I do, no matter what, I still won't be happy, I'll want to lose more. That is one of the reasons that I really don't try to stick to a diet. I am afraid of myself. I don't want to get caught in a web of eating disorders.
Last year, I brought to the attention of my friends that one of us had a severe eating disorder. It was very difficult and strenuous on our friendship with that person, and very hard to get her to accept that she had a problem and that she needed help. She isn't totally better now, but she isn't any worse either. She is probably going to have to battle with anorexia for her entire life, but I think that it is a battle that she is winning. She never reached the point where she was admitted to a hospital, but she did reach the point where she counted every calorie, took the pills, did the exercise, didn't eat any meals except for a little soup and some liquids. I don't know what would have happened to her if I hadn't convinced my friends that it was time to take some action and say, " Look, you are my friend, but you are hurting yourself. You are NOT overweight, we know that you see yourself that way, but we wouldn't lie to you. You are hurting yourself and if you continue like this, it is only going to get worse. If you don't try to help yourself, we are going to force help on you." Of course, you can't exactly force help on someone else. First of all, they have to come to terms with the fact that they do have a problem and they want to overcome it. That is the hardest step, or at least it is the hardest step to help them take.
I don't know what this page started out to be, other than me moaning about how I wish that I wasn't naturally about 140 lbs. and closer to 127 lbs. Why did I pick that number as my goal? I dunno....it's a great number. I used to weigh it. It wasn't that long ago really, just a couple of years. My weight really fluctuates between about 135 and 142. I lose, I gain, I lose, I gain. It sucks pretty much. When I was younger, I got turned down for a dance by a boy because he thought that I was an anorexic. That spurred me to ask other people if I looked like one. A lot of them thought that I did. That freaked me out because I didn't WANT to look sick, I didn't want to be nearly flat chested and really tall and boney. I ate like crazy for awhile, hoping that I would put on weight in the "right" places. Well, I hate to tell you this, but it didn't help me any.....I am still pretty flat, and I hate my thighs.
Okay, I know what this page was about now. I wanted to let you know that you if can identify with anything that I said up there that you are not alone. There are TONS of people out there who feel exactly like you, whether you believe me or not, your feelings are not unique. You know how your parents and teachers have always told you that you are unique to yourself, and all of that crap? Well, it isn't totally true. Yes, you are the only one who knows what you are thinking, but there are thousands of other people who have gone through whatever ordeal you are going through, or felt whatever you are feeling. You are never alone, so don't feel that way. If you can find no one else who is willing to listen to you, or talk to you about what is troubling you, and you feel that it is serious, please feel free to talk to me. I know that it isn't terribly personal to talk to someone that you don't know over the internet, but think of it this way: You DON'T know me, so I haven't formed any opinions about you, I can't go around and tell anyone what you told me, and I can't even nag you if you don't want me to.
In conclusion, think before you pop a pill, don't pop your meal, or pop down an entire carton of Ben and Jerrys ice cream, okay?
once again, here is my e-mail : Diane74756@aol.com
label it "Jenn", or else I will delete it, okay? Thanks.