---BOOK ONE---

SCENE: Dana Scully’s apartment, outside Washington, DC USA. July 23, 1999 05:30

Dana Scully studied her face in the mirror. She had been up much of the night wondering if something was wrong with her. Once again, she and her partner, Fox Mulder had been relieved of their duties as agents at the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI). This time Mulder had really gone too far, and as a result, they both were without jobs. Not that this was the first time, mind you; Agent Mulder had a penchant for the unexplained, the eerie, the otherworldly, the supernatural. He saw secret government plots or extraterrestrial dealings in the most mundane, everyday occurrences. What scared Scully was that though she was a dyed-in-the-wool skeptic, in the years since she began working with Mulder, she had seen too many things she could not explain rationally. In fact, Scully had originally been assigned by the Bureau to work with Agent Mulder in the hope that she would debunk his work. After all, she was a scientist, a medical doctor who, in addition to being young- 33 years of age, very attractive and very smart, thought logically and rationally, and believed only in facts and science- things that could be proved. She wondered why she had been so loyal to Mulder over the years. The two, in fact, displayed a fierce loyalty toward each other, which had on occasion led others to believe they were lovers, but there had never been any real romantic feelings between them. They did, however, share a very special friendship which, try as she might, Scully had never been able to categorise. Scully was saved from further reflection by a sharp buzz at her doorbell. She tightened the belt on her robe, reached for her gun, which was not there since she hadn’t even dressed yet (it was only 5:30, after all) and decided to answer the door unarmed. Scully peered through the peephole of her door and spotted agent Mulder, holding two paper cups and what appeared to be a bag of donuts. She opened the door to admit her partner.

He entered with a "Hey, Scully!" and gave her a squeeze on the shoulder- along with the boyish grin that, to Scully, was generally a warning sign. "Mulder, it’s 5:30 in the morning! what are you doing here? I’m not even dressed yet." "oh. well. I *knew* you’d want to see this, Scully", he answered passing her a copy of a tabloid newspaper. "Take a look at this!" Scully pushed back her hair, sighed and looked at the headline Mulder pointed to: WEALTHY AMERICAN SOCIETY MATRON ANNOUNCES A TRIP TO THE PAST. "Mulder, I need to be clothed before I can stomach another of your tabloid adventures. make yourself at home and I’ll be back in twenty minutes!"

Twenty-two minutes later, Scully emerged from the bathroom freshly scrubbed and dressed in jeans and a sweater. "So what’s the deal, Mulder? You can’t actually believe those things, can you? On second thought, if I had a dollar for every- Hey! you drank my coffee!" "Sorry, Scully- anyway, that’s not the point. Are you familiar with the works of turn-of-the century British author E. F. Benson?" She thought a moment and replied "Biographies, right? I think I read his work on the Brontes in undergrad school, but I’m surprised you know of him." "Really I don’t- which why I hoped you knew more than I do. Apparently he did write a number of biographies, but is also famed in certain circles for his humorous society novels and tales of the supernatural...." "Ah, the supernatural, now I all begins to make sense! Mulder! this is exactly the kind of thing that caused us to lose our jobs at the bureau!" "Okay, and since you are now unemployed, what’re you gonna do all day? Watch Jerry Springer?" She shot a killing glance at him and read the story.

July 23, 8 PM. Fisherman’s Cottage, Maine, USA

Agents Mulder and Scully exit their car and start up the walkway to the cottage. They are met at the door by a woman dressed in a stunning designer gown of what appears to be organdy and silk. Obviously made in Paris. She wears a small hat with a veil that partially obscures her eyes. "Thank You for agreeing to speak with us, Mrs......?" Scully began. The reply was a whispered "just call me ‘the Hat’. Come inside quickly, before we are seen together" and she ushered them inside, where an efficient young lady took their coats and seated them in a lovely parlor. Mulder opened with "Mrs.- the Hat- I am Special Agent Fox Mulder from the Federal Bureau of Investigation, and this is my partner, Special Agent Dana Scully. Thank you for agreeing to meet with us on such short notice-" The Hat cut him off with "But it had to be tonight, agents- and Miss Scully, may I say you are quite chic in that suit- so daring to wear those short skirts! I quite envy you. though I can see why you’d want to look your best!" She smiled at Scully, and cast a sidelong glance in Mulder’s direction. Scully repressed a sigh of impatience, and devoted her attention to the matter at hand "Mrs- the Hat- what is it that you wanted to show agent Mulder and me- other than the latest looks for spring?" "Well, my dear, as important as the latest looks for spring are - and this year they are smashing! - this is even more important, and harder to believe! Tomorrow is Mr. Benson’s birthday, the day that every year the town of Rye on the southern coast of England disappears off the map and is replaced by Tilling, the scene of Benson’s novels which is based on the town of Rye. Champagne, dears?" Scully looked incredulous, then answered, "Mrs- Miss- I don’t know how to put this, but is it possible you’ve already had a bit much champagne? And Mulder, we are no longer with the Federal Bureau of Investigation! I’m sorry if my partner mislead you, Miss Hat." "Oh, Agent Scully!" giggled the Hat, "Mr. Benson would have adored you! Such spirit! If only he’d met you! I can see it now- Mapp, Lucia and Scully, book seven of the Tilling chronicles! No offense taken, dear, and whether you are or are not with the FBI makes no difference to me. Agent Mulder read my rather unbelievable tale in the papers, in which my name was never mentioned, fortunately, as I pride myself on being ‘always in the society column, never in the news’" She was interrupted by the doorbell. "Mavis will get that," the Hat explained. Mavis, the efficient young assistant to the Hat, announced the following visitors: "Tony, Lord Limpsfield,; Miss Lyall and Lady Ambermere’s Pug, Patience, Miss Susan Leg, Herr Blumenfelt, Bibelot, Miss Olga Bracely-Shuttleworth." Lord Tony ran up to the hat with an effusive "Mrs. Trout, darling! You look positively divine! And who are your new friends?" Mrs. Trout shot a rather perturbed glance at Mavis. "Mavis is usually so efficient! I can’t believe she didn’t warn you to use only my code name! Oh well, the fashion papers are bound to photograph me dressed like this, so my identity could remain secret only so long, I suppose." Mrs Trout (for "the Hat" was in fact she) introduced the agents to her guests, and explained that many more would arrive soon for the party. "What party is that?" asked Agent Scully. "I believe I can answer that, my dear" came a voice at her side. "Agent Scully," began Mrs. Trout, "allow me to introduce Herr Blumenfelt, manufacturer of fine musical instruments." Her voice dropped to a stage whisper "I don’t think he’s really German, you know. In fact, he may not speak a word, but we generously overlook that, not to mention that he’s not a very smart dresser! He did invent a rather interesting piano which chirped like a canary, but it wasn’t really appreciated quite the way he’d hoped."

"Well Mr. Blumenfelt, explain away, if you really think you can!" said Agent Scully. Her companion did his best to explain that every year on the date of E. F. Benson’s birthday, the fictional town of Tilling actually materialised and took the place of Rye, home of Mr. Benson, where he served as mayor for three sessions, and modeled his Tilling after real locations and houses in the town. Scully appeared skeptical, but before she could challenge Herr Blumenfelt’s story, Mavis again appeared to announce more guests: The Pride of Poona, Tiptree, La Gatta Lucianese, Marcia, Duchess of Whitby; Siriami, Mammoncash, Amelia, Contessa di Faraglione; Lucrezia, Perdita, the Venial Critic, Wind Egg and Kindly Light. She added that the spirits Abfou and Blue Birdie were expected to materialise soon. Agent Mulder joined a "weejing" session with Mrs. Wyse, Janet, Foljambe, Appollonia and the Black Spaniard, hoping for a message or two from beyond to explain tonight’s goings on, but his hostess assured him that all would make sense soon after midnight, which was approaching fast. "Who is that little girl who keeps peeking down from the staircase?" asked Mulder, "Is she a spirit? Or is she maybe a hybrid alien life-form experiment, created by the government to prevent Mr. Benson’s birthday party from happening?" "No, silly!" explained the Guru, the Hanging Committee and Hightum in unison, "that’s our dear Sticky Child!" Agent Scully questioned the wisdom of allowing a child to stay up so late at night, but was assured that, though she looked quite young, Sticky could take care of herself- in fact, she had even authored several popular mystery novels.

The party continued with games of Bridge and Piquet, servings of Apollinaris, pre-war whisky and soda, red-currant and gooseberry fools, nougat chocolates, some rather filling and dense chocolate cakes and a midnight supper of lobster a la riseholme, fresh asparagus and a fig tart, deftly prepared by Cook, who was now resting at the famous Kitchen Table, with Paddy napping at her feet, gnawing on what appeared to be the handle of a whip. There were tableaux, singing by Lucrezia and Olga Bracely, accompanied by the amazing Greatorex on one of Mr. Blumenfelt’s famous pianos; and of course, the famous rendition of "the boy on the burning deck", popularised by Tilling’s own Quaint One, and Diva’s sketch of the seasick passenger using an orange.

The hall clock struck Midnight, and a momentary hush fell over the party. "Mavis, the blinds!" shouted Mrs. Trout. Mavis went and pulled back the blinds, exposing to all present a magnificent view of Tilling’s marshes and the sea. Mrs Trout was quite flushed with excitement and called out to her guests, "Everyone! grab a basket! We mustn’t be late for morning marketing!" With smiles and a demeanor bordering on giddy, the party collected coats and baskets and prepared to set out for Tilling proper and the High Street.

July 24, 0900 Tilling-on-Sea, The High Street

"Damn this cell-phone! Why the hell doesn’t anything work around here, Mulder?" asked an increasingly irritated Agent Scully. Mulder smiled, handed her the market basket and said, "Hey, Scully, wait here a moment, would you? I just want to duck into the chemists to get some lint - just in case I get lumbago, or something." Scully gave yet another exasperated sigh and said "Mulder, I am a medical doctor and I can assure you there is no clinical basis whatsoever.." but her partner was already gone into the shop and was no longer paying attention.

A young woman- apparently a Tillingite, as Scully had not seen her at Mrs. Trout’s party- stared at Scully from across the road. She had a short masculine hairstyle and wore trousers and a woolen jersey. She had been smoking a pipe, which she now tossed to the ground and started across the street toward Scully. A smiling Agent Mulder appeared in the doorway of the chemist’s shop, saying "Ready to go, Scully? Got my lint!" The young lady ran up to him and, grabbing him by the arm, asked "Is this gorgeous creature with you sir? You must convince her to pose for me - and you will, of course pose as well, won’t you Mr....?" "Mulder. Agent Fox Mulder. This is my partner Agent Scully, the gorgeous creature Dana Scully. And you are?" "Irene Coles, known to all and sundry in Tilling as ‘quaint’ Irene, but I hope you’ll call me queen of your hearts! Anyway, beloveds, come visit me in my studio later- here’s my card. Cheeri-o!" and with a wink she was gone. Scully stared after her, open-mouthed. "Mulder, I’m not sure which of us she was hitting on!" Mulder gave her a smirk and replied, "Oh, my money’s on you, you gorgeous thing, queen of my heart!" The only response he received was a sharp elbow to the ribs, after which his partner turned and walked quickly away from him. "Where are you going, Scully?" he called after her. "I’m getting the hell out of here and going back to Washington, Mulder! I need to start getting my life back in order, not following you on yet another wild-goose chase!" And with that, Scully set off toward the train station, in hopes of catching an early train back home. For you see, she still did not realised where she was, or how she had gotten there; and thus did not realise that it was only a matter of time before she was to be whisked back to 1999 and to her usual style of life. Mulder hurried to catch up to her, murmuring conciliatory remarks.

9:10 am, Twistevant’s greengrocer

"You have my word, dear Diva- most shocking- skirt cut up to here..."

"You’re one to talk, Mapp! I know a certain green skirt of yours that’s gone through a sartorial rebellion or two in its day- n’est-ce pas?"

"Sweet one, comments like that can only hurt me, but old friends we are, I shall overlook it!"

"Alright, already! What news, Mapp?!"

"Well, the language this young ‘lady’ used- and I assure you I use the term lady merely as a formality- and the tone she spoke to her young man in! Scandalous I call it!"

"Jealous, I’d call it!" answered Diva- "You wish you could run Benjy like this one runs hers! Make friends with her, Mapp- maybe she’ll give you some tips" And Diva was gone, though not before hearing Mapp mutter "And I hope they’ll be better tips than the financial ones I got from our Lulu!"

News about the agents spread quickly through Tilling’s social circles. Quaint Irene went about telling everyone of the "living vision of an angel of a woman and her puppy-dog eyed Adonis of a partner," while Diva told of a daring, flame-haired young lady who wore a tailored suit with a skirt, and kept her gentleman-friend on rather a short leash ("just as I sometimes have to do with my Paddy!") Soon all of Tilling was astir with excitement over the visitors. Many of them sought out acquaintances made at last year’s party for Mr. Benson.

Artist’s Studio of Irene Coles, 2PM

"Precious ones, you’ve come- ooh I’m so glad you’ve come!" gushed Quaint Irene. "Mr. Mulder- Fox- I may call you that, mayn’t I, you precious, sly Fox of a man? Here- step behind this screen and undress! I’ll be with you in a moment." "Ah, Miss Coles, or shall I call you Irene, as we are now apparently on a first name basis (though Scully, who has been my partner for years has never called me by my first name, though she’s called me lots of other things, but I digress) Anyway, I think we may have misunderstood each other...." Scully chose to play this potentially embarrassing moment for all it was worth, and said "What’s not to understand, Mulder? Just go behind the screen and take your clothes off, like the lady asked! Or are you just being coy, you sly Fox of a man?" To her surprise, Mulder stepped behind the screen. Scully was rather piqued at him, as she blamed Mulder for her circumstances, and was thus eager to cause him annoyance (for she was rather irritable after not being able to get a train back to DC from the Tilling station). She was actually beginning to suspect Mulder of playing some kind of elaborate hoax on her.

A large woman, nearly an amazon, entered the room, clad in a bathrobe. Irene introduced the woman as Lucy, her cook, and explained that her plan was to paint Lucy and Mulder as Adam and Eve, "Though perhaps you’d like to be the one to tempt him, eh, Scully?" Scully made no comment. "Hey, Fox, come on out and let’s ‘ave a look!" ordered the artist. Mulder emerged from behind the screen, wearing a sheepish expression and what amounted to an oversized diaper with a paper fig-leaf pinned to the front. At precisely this moment, a voice rang out "Irene, dear, I wonder if you’d mind popping by later for tea and ickle chat---" and then dead silence as Lucia and Georgie Pillson walked in upon this scene, with stunned expressions. "Irene, dear, a new model- how nice for you!" said Lucia, with an appreciative glance toward Mulder. Scully took pity on her partner, and tried to shield him from the newcomers by approaching them to introduce herself, though judging by the heightened color of their countenances, she was perhaps a bit too late. "Sir, Madam, allow me to introduce myself- Special Agent Dana Scully with the Federal Bureau of Investigation- and my partner is Agent Mulder." Lucia recovered her composure and introduced herself and her husband. Irene became quite excited and began kissing Lucia, saying (shouting, really) "Carissima Mio! I’ve had the most wonderful idea ever for a painting- and I must set it in your lovely Giardino by the fig tree- and Miss Scully- Dana- I want you to be Eve to Mulder’s Adam! You must, darling, you simply must!" Mulder smiled and raised one eyebrow at Scully, as it was her turn to blush, but she was saved further embarrassment (for the moment) by Lucia, who said how pleased she was to make their acquaintance and glided past Scully, ostensibly to speak with Miss Coles, though Scully thought she saw her crane her neck a bit, perhaps hoping for another peek at Mulder. Georgie approached Scully and shook her hand. "So pleased to meet you, my dear! It isn’t often we get such lovely young visitors here in Tilling! I hope I’ll get to see more of you and your partner. Oh, dear, I’m not sure that came out quite the way I intended it! What I meant was I hope you’ll give us the pleasure of coming to tea at Mallards house today. Your partner will dress, won’t he? Though I suppose if he’s still posing , Grosvenor could bring him his tea out in the garden, or of course I’d be delighted to, if it would help." Footsteps were heard approaching, and everyone tried to see who it was. "Lulu, dear! What a surprise! I just popped in to see our Irenie, but always such a joy to see our Queen of Tilling!" "Ullo, Mapp!" said Irene, "This lovely lady here is Agent Scully of the United States Federal Bureau of Investigations, and hiding behind your sweet Lulu is her partner, Agent Mulder." Miss Mapp had not previously noticed Mulder, but had a rather violent attack of what she had only recently learned was called the bronchial catarrh upon sight of him in his Adam costume. She scurried out in abject horror, saying "Yes, well, must run!" And run she did.

Mallards House, 5PM

Lucia looked over her scrap-book while her husband was hard at work on his latest petit-point hot water-bottle cover. "Yes," he said, "Yes, I think this *is* an improvement on my shepherdess! What say you, Lucia?" Lucia looked at the piece he was working on, and was rather taken aback. "Georgie! Her dress- it’s so short! And that flaming red hair!" cried Lucia, her eyes also flaming, "You’ve turned your sweet shepherdess into the image of that- that- American woman! Really, Georgie!"

Ye Olde Tea Shoppe, 5PM

"No dear, not a stitch! Just like Mr. Hopkins- mind you I’ve never once bought fish from him since! Federal Bureau of Investigations, indeed! Just what are they here to investigate? How about the mysterious whereabouts of Benjy’s and my Siriami dividends?"

"That’s just it, Mapp- no one knows why they’re here," answered Diva, "but I heard a rumour from my Janet that they came here with the Mrs. Titus W. Trout of America! Wouldn’t that be too thrilling, Mapp?"

"Diva, dear, Tilling is not large enough even for two kingfisher blue gowns, certainly not for three!"

Back at Mallards, where Irene and the agents are expected for tea momentarily..........

"Georgie- do you think I may have been a bit hasty in refusing to allow Irene to set her painting in my garden in such uncertain terms? After all, it might be good for Tilling to have the gardens at my Mallards house immortalised in a painting, and that young man does have such fine classical features, and a figure like an Italian statue..."

"Yes, and his partner is rather a lovely young thing, isn’t she, darling?" asked Georgie, with more of an edge to his voice than was usual, even when he was irritated. "Perhaps Irene will let me sketch them alongside her?" he wondered aloud.

"No, Georgino, I was right in refusing! We mustn’t allow our American friends to risk catching cold in Tilling- they might not be used to the sea air, or something." The bell sounded at the front door, and soon after Grosvenor appeared to announce Mulder, Scully and Quaint Irene.

---end of book one---