I'm happy to be able to know my grandchildren; some I know better than others ... that often happens. I suppose the trick is not to let them know it. One I brought up during her first five years, the others (beautiful children) have been, and are, a joy to me, and two I never met ... the relationships run the gamut. I've learned that it is unwise to single out one for any special treatment. When Paris tried that sort of thing with Helen, Aphrodite, and Athena, it ultimately led to the Trojan War. And all he had to give was a golden apple which he gave to Aphrodite; the goddess gave him Helen; he carried her off to Troy, and the war was on.

I'll say one thing to all my grandchildren now; "listen up" ... you come from a family rich in strengths and rich in problems; learn from both. And when it comes to a problem, many times the solution can be very close by; open your eyes, it's just a matter of looking with an uncluttered mind, even uncluttered by (independent of) the very schools that are teaching you how to be intelligent. Then each of you can take this legacy of strengths and problems, and go on and build your own family using the mortar and bricks of what I think is this rich background we pass on to you.

You can look at it this way: If you face your problems and respond to them positively, and refuse to give in to panic, bitterness, or self-pity, the adversities that come along to bury you will usually have within them the potential to benefit and bless you as well. And then when these adversities come along in the guise of a "person," never go against this opponent's strength; instead, redirect the strength away from you. You might even be able to use that force for some good. I've tried to live that way and found that most of the time it worked.

And a word about "preparation" (the boys being so interested in baseball). You can learn much from watching the players. Who wins doesn't matter; just watch how expert they are in what they do out on that field. It took some natural talent but it also took years of work, years of preparation. Think of a pro baseball player before he gets up to bat. He picks up three bats, then two bats, with weights and without weights. He also stretches, leans, and practices with deep concentration, and then at back focuses so that nothing else in the world exists, all so he can hit that home run. It's all preparation and that's what youth is all about. Maybe that's what all of life is about.

And try to solve your own problems; as much as humanly possible. You'll grow that way and feel the maximum satisfaction, provided you avoid being wholly consumed and overwhelmed by the material world gashmiyus (physical material needs, sometimes meaning "foolishness"), as apposed to ruchniyus (spirituality); we learn more about this in "Jewish Studies". As for obstacles, I guess we all have to learn from the story of the ... Butterfly ... remove all obstacles and the butterfly becomes useless. Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life. They all combine to make you very special.

Special? As another great contributor, Boogie Jack (he gives lessons on building websites online) says, "People want to see (and know) what is uniquely you. From the beginning of time to all eternity, there is and will always be only one you. Celebrate who you are, for no one can be you better than you can, and you can be no one else better than you can be yourself. That makes you very special indeed. YOU are better than one-in-a-million. YOU are better than one-in-a-billion. YOU are one-in-an-eternity. Think about that. When you're that special, why would you want to play follow-the-leader?"

The most important piece of advice to my grandchildren (Sarah, Mitchell, Parker, Gabrielle, Holly, Jonathan, Naomi, Joshua, Scott, Michael, and any others to come along), and to their children and children's children, would be to take time out to learn some good-ol'-down-home Jewish thinking. As it is said in Hebrew, "Ashreinu mah tov chelkaynu" - How good and fortunate is our lot. I started with the writings of Rabbi Avigdor Miller (who I think can be exclusive at times, looking upon those less observant as "opportunities to prune the tree") and moved then to the writings of Chabad Lubavitch, learning with a very learned rabbi (they seem more inclusive to the non-observant). They reach out more to bring in the fold with great attention to the individual. I've met many of them, and like them very much. At the same time I'll always have the greatest respect for Rabbi Miller who (adding this as a postscript) passed away on April 20, 2001 and thousands lined up on Ocean Parkway to attend his funeral. His synagogue, where he also lived upstairs, was there off the corner of Avenue R, and his influence will always be felt around the world.

An aside: Rabbi Miller feared no man and was most outspoken when it came to matters of ethics. His specialty was "mussar" (typically defined as ethical teachings, devoted to character and behavioral improvement. This includes a very broad range of strategies and approaches to such improvement. There are various "schools" of mussar, each with its special history and great personalities, which are characterized by particular emphases, each of which are rooted in traditional Torah thought).. The only truth he spoke of was "Torah" truth. His advice was to forget television, newspapers, radio, and delve into the Torah (which he once described as "a glimpse into the mind of G-d" ... an amazing description).

Hello to my first cousins, Sandra and Donald, both living in Florida. We all grew up together up here in Brooklyn and we share many of the experiences I'll be talking about. Why they moved to Florida? For the last 40 years all my family, including my brother, have been moving away from me; I'm the only member left in the Big Apple. I say this jokingly as people move for many reasons, and today you'll find that families that all live geographically close are somewhat rare. Also, I'm not complaining as our history has been of tremendous movements of people for many reasons. The result can be strength; imagine if all our people lived in one European country during the 30's and 40's. The argument goes both ways: put five individual fingers together and you have a stronger union, however you can keep them all together and then have an easier target.

Hey Shrooky, I know you more than half a century, and your ideas are still a wellspring of wisdom; now if you can only apply it to your own life. I know Shrooky since we were 16; he has little formal schooling and is still the brightest person I know. Many of my ideas came out of his head. He listens to the best commentators, reads the best magazines, and has the ability to separate the wheat from the chaff. He has no Jewish learning, that's sad and it seems to be a family trait of his, but he still has real smarts, is very honest, and a credit to the human race.

Also there are Henry and Dave from the gym where we all meet on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Sundays, and who make the grueling gym workout more bearable with their charming selves. Henry has a natural sense of humor; he's funny without really trying, and his humor is better than the best medicine that the doctor can prescribe. Dave's claim to fame is that he's been jogging for many years and by now his total mileage has exceeded the circumference of the Earth. I'm not kidding; he's actually figured it out. And Anthony, my neighbor upstairs, who someday will get his sailboat and make a real trip around the world; I'm looking forward to seeing him in the gym too. Without these people in the gym, working out would be more boring than the Brady Bunch.

Also Ann, a supervisor of nurses in a well known hospital, I'm always glad to know a person like Ann. She's a very outspoken, no nonsense person, and lives in my building. She is ready to give the best advice she can from her extensive nursing experiences. She has a great sense of personal identity; she knows who she is, what she wants, and she's not afraid to express herself regardless of consequences. Her current project as of my writing these words is that she and another friend, Shelly, also in my building, are writing to the co-op board asking them to explain some maintenance increases that seem to be unwarranted. Good luck to both of you; this board sure has a lot of explaining to do.

Then there are two therapist friends (like I need a therapist; you have to be crazy to need a therapist), they are Richard and Dovid; we've really enjoyed our chats; they are both very intelligent, honest, and well-meaning friends; and I'd say they both know their business. You know, psychology is not an exact science, and you have to add a little art to it, and use your best instincts to make it work. It could do a lot of good, but you have to know what you are doing.

Richard argues with me (actually I argue; he takes it with a grain of salt) that therapy has great value for people who need therapy. That seems like a truism to me and put that way, who can question it? I take another view and say "ze vet gournisht helfen" meaning in Yiddish, "it not going to do any good" (not an exact translation). They say that's the negativity in me talking; I say I'm just keeping an open mind; they say it's so open my good sense is leaking out.

Dovid points out to me that when we are in a negative mindset, we see only negative things. The cup becomes half-empty. The opposite is true when in a good mood; then the glass is half-full. So if we can change our inner selves, we then change our perception of the world (and then we can change the world) parentheses mine. It makes sense and I share it with you. Now if I could only change my mindset; talking is one thing, action is another.

A special mention to two unusual people, John in Long Island, married to classy Rosanna. Neither one college educated but I’ve heard more livable philosophy from John than from a school full of “educated” teachers. His father and uncle disappointed me in some ways (some people talk about honor and “one’s word,” and some people mean it and live it) but John’s is an example where the apple can fall miles from the tree. In many ways, he’s a fount of wisdom. And his wife, Rosanna, is an honor to the family; I hope they all realize what a treasure John found.

Shalom to my former yeshiva colleagues, the entire Board of Governors. Unfortunately that older group came upon hard times. But working with them was a very rich experience; I'm from the teaching profession and these were business people. Very different backgrounds and to me, was an opportunity to learn from successful people in the private sector. I came to respect them in some ways that far exceeded those in my teaching background. That's not to "put down" the teachers; they do have a most difficult job, and if done well, a most noble undertaking, but unfortunately, many today (at least in NYC) don't come up to what it takes. Shrooky can explain this better than the most versed columnist in the NY Times.

Hello to the Co-op Board where I live, sorry if I stepped on any toes there when I spoke up at the year 2000 annual meeting, it was just something I had to say and I hope some good will come of it. I sure did make a lot of Russian friends as a result, though that was not my purpose. And answer Ann's letter; she has more important things to concern her than monitoring your shenanigans. And I won't mention names but there's that lady: stop tossing your terrace wash water down on top of me; it's not nice, not classy, not "derech eretz" and get rid of that private real estate you have in the basement which all the shareholders are paying for; again, it's not in good co-op spirit.

And last, what also became important, are the computer friends; strangely enough, these relationships do exist. Not only do they exist, but also there are communications and connections made that don't even exist with "real time" friends. Seems the anonymity lends itself to sharing that goes beyond what is usually shared. I'm sure there are psycho-sociological reasons for that, especially in this "let it all hang out" society we are living in. Anyway, you will probably be the first to be reading these words, and to you I say "It's been a blast" and the fun we shared is more than I ever imagined way back when I started, which was with the advent of the radio ... technology has sure come a long way, baby.

Friends were at first made in some chatrooms (these can be dangerous places so I won't discuss it here, and I have removed that page from my regular website). It was then I discovered that excellent ICQ program (that's a correspondence program, letters stand for "I seek you" put together by four kids in Tel Aviv, all in their 20's and eventually sold to aol for 400 million). There I had an opportunity to teach and to learn from so many people. I don't recall how it happened but I did come upon that mailing list where I "came in contact with" so many very skilled and sharing people versed in computer matters (and personal matters too, in e-mails).

Eventually I built a section on this site called ... Tips 'n Tricks. Many of these gems come from these experts. What with technology always advancing, my job is to keep updating that section. And being a bit lazy ... well, you know how it is. If you take a computer seriously (and how can you not in today's world), you find it is a challenging hobby. You find that today you're an expert, then something new is developed, and suddenly you don't know what's going on. The trick is to keep up with it. There are many of you who know very little now (as we all did once) and with some study and application will become tomorrow's experts. Personally I still struggle along as a novice who keeps learning, and I'm happy with it. For you guys who will be tomorrow's computer guru's, best of luck ... and we continue:

So what is my life about? It's a hell of a good one, no question about that. And if I had to do it over again, I'd probably make very few changes. So did Mr. Perfect make mistakes? Sure did, more than I'd like to count, but even mistakes can be learning experiences. And if I could live it over again, the funny part is that I probably would be making the same mistakes; that's a strange thing about human nature. Wasn't it Tallulah Bankhead who said, "If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner”? On the subject, it was Da Vinci who said, "While I thought that I was learning how to live, I have been learning how to die." So what then did I learn?

Maybe one mistake I wouldn't make, and that would be that I trusted too many people with money. Shakespeare sure was right about being neither a borrower nor lender. My mouth is zipped, no names mentioned, that's all I'll say. All right, what have I done in the few years I've been aboard this ship?