Just what the good doctor ordered.
HEALTH PAGE 3

PET CARE

I've never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they're home they like to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.

Seriously, having a pet is a marvelous way of combating your stress. Convincing data shows that pets can indeed reduce your stress and serve as important sources of emotional comfort. The presence of a pet in the room can put you at ease, evoke feelings of caring and tenderness, and provide you with a companion. Pets can lower your blood pressure, make you feel more relaxed, and distract you from your own day-to-day worries and concerns. And because they don't complain, have opinions to disagree with, or know how to operate the television remote, pets trigger less conflict and friction than do the people who live in your house. As a bonus, they can even take care of any roach or rodent problems.

Digital Dog - everything you always wanted to know about dogs but were afraid to ask.
Dog Breeding - anything a prospective owner needs to know about a particular type of dog.
Electronic Zoo ... a great reference to all animal life ... and also with links to pet care.
Family Safety ... a Voice Mail ID System for your dog or cat ... can I use it for the baby?
Fish Care ... information covers both freshwater and marine, tropical and temperate.
FriskyPet … provids info, features, and promotions tailored just for you (er, your pet).
Medicating Your Cat … with patience, some skill, and lots of insanity ... it can be done.
Pet Education - all aspects of your pet's health (assuming, of course, that its a dog or a cat).
Pets … dogs, cats, fish, birds, reptiles, horses, etc ... and enough links to bow-wow or meow.
Pooch Protection … imagine ... a place where you can annonomously report dog abuse ... grrrr.
Purina … well, they might be commercial, but they do have some good tips on pet care.
Veterinary … vet info, pet info, tiercom info, vet digest, and canine - feline encyclopedia.

Not exactly medical but … Dog House … information for all pets.
Return to ... Menu ... on Pg. one

There was once an aspiring veterinarian who put himself through veterinary school working nights as a taxidermist.

Upon graduation, he decided he could combine his two vocations to better serve the needs of his patients and their owners, while doubling his practice and, therefore, his income.

He opened his own offices with a shingle on the door saying, "Dr. Jones, Veterinary Medicine and Taxidermy - Either way, you get your dog back."

Remember ... "Barking dogs seldom bite" ... it's good to know.

I spilled spot remover on my dog, Spot ... Now he's gone ... get it?
Spot remover - Spot ... Get it? ... Ahaaaaaaaaaaaa ... sorry.

A tom cat and a tabby cat were courting on a back fence at night.
The tom leaned over to the tabby with pent up passion and purred:
"I would gladly die for you."
The tabby then gazed at him from under lowered eye lids and asked:
"How many times?"

Woman says to doctor: "Doctor, you must do something about my husband.
He thinks he's a refrigerator.
Doctor answers: "That's terrible."
She says: "You're telling me! He sleeps with his mouth open,
and the light keeps me up all night."

Well, this is a health page ... and it is a doctor's joke ... and I figured why not.

Hygeia was the Greek goddess of health and the daughter of Ζsculapios.
Hence the word, hygiene.

Tell you something about my dental hygienist. She's real cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments.

CALORIC MAINTENANCE LEVEL
Or how many calories to consume daily just to stay the way you are.

A. Start with this number: (Men) 864 ... (Women) 387

B. Multiply you age by: (Men) 9.72 ... (Women) 7.31

C. Subtract line B from line A

D. Multiply you weight in pounds by: (Men) 6.39 ... (Women) 4.91

E. Multiply your height in inches by: (Men) 12.77 ... (Women) 16.78

F. Add lines D and E

G. Enter you daily physical activity level:

a. Sedentary (No regular activity = 1)
b. Low activity or up to ½ hour per day: (Men) 1.12 ... (Women) 1.14
c. Active or 30 to 60 minutes: (Men and Women) 1.27
d. Very active or over an hour: (Men) 1.54 ... (Women) 1.45
H. Multiply line F by line G

I. Add lines C and H ... that's the result.

Again, the result is the calories you need each day just to stay the way you are.
Now don't despair; you aren't alone in this predicament.
And someone up there must love you.

A SHORT HISTORY OF MEDICINE:

"Doctor, I have an ear ache."

2000 B.C. - "Here, eat this root."
1000 B.C. - "That root is poison, here, say this prayer."
1850 A.D. - "That prayer is superstition, here, drink this potion."
1940 A.D. - "That potion is snake oil, here, swallow this pill."
1985 A.D. - "That pill is ineffective, here, take this antibiotic."
2000 A.D. - "That antibiotic is artificial, here, eat this root."

THINGS YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR DURING SURGERY

Better save that ... We'll need it for the autopsy.
Bo, Bo ... Come back with that ... Bad dog, bad dog.
Damn ... Page 47 is missing.
Hmm, is this the heart?
I think they did it this way on Medic.
Now where is that scalpel?
Nurse, please pass me that thingie.
That wild party last nite ... I'm feeling it now.
That's cool ... Now can you make his leg twitch?
There go the lights again.
They didn't teach me this in voodoo 101.
This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?
Ya know, there's big money in kidneys ... and this guy's got two of''em.

And in conclusion, if all else fails, doctors being too busy, or expensive, you can always try examining the "line of life" ... in French, la ligne de vie (in palmistry, the crease in the left hand beginning above the web of the thumb, and running towards or up to the wrist). The nearer it approaches the wrist the longer will be your life, according to palm-lorists ... If long and deeply marked, it indicates long life with very little trouble ... and if crossed or cut with other marks, it indicates sickness. Now looky pal, did Dr. Buddy's examination cost you anything? "Hey, what are friends for?"

ESSENTIAL OILS FOR YOUR GOOD HEALTH

A plant's scent is produced by special oils -- called essential oils -- that it holds in special glands. Identifying plants that have these oils is an easy one-step process: Simply smell the plant. If the plant has a scent, it contains essential oils.

Roses, violets, rosemary bushes, and even Christmas trees all owe their distinctive aromas to essential oils.

Essential oils enhance both the health and beauty of skin, hair, and nails; plus, they have healing benefits for your body and mind. As an added bonus, they smell wonderful when applied to the body. Here's a list of the most important properties found most often in essential oils.

YOGA MADE SIMPLE

According to the ancient healing system of India, we learn that everyone's personality has a mixture of three elements … Earth, Wind, and Fire. These elements determine who you are and how you deal with life.

Everyday stresses and tensions can cause one or more of these elements to go out of balance. Result: Unhappiness, restlessness, or discontent.

Yoga restores these elements to their proper balance. Which exercises are best depends on your dominent personality type.

EARTH PERSONALITY

Earth people tend to be easygoing, sweet-natured, and supportive. And when they are stressed, they may gain weight, have trouble getting up in the morning ... hang on to destructive circumstances and relationships, and can really be dangerous.

Helpful exercise: The Sun Salutation. While standing, take a deep breath and extend your arms over your head ... Exhale and lower your hands until they are touching the floor near the outsides of your feet (bending your knees as much as necessary).

After this ... stretch your right leg behind you while bending your left knee, as though tying your shoe. While stretching your leg backward, look forward. Bring your left foot back even with your right. Breathing easily, raise your buttocks by using your hands to "walk" your upper body backward toward your legs. Your hand will be on the floor and your bottom high in the air. (Strange how we use the word "bottom" … stand up, look in the mirror. Isn't yours in the middle? Mine is.) Finally, stand straight with hands at your sides, and relax. Repeat from the beginning, stretching your left leg behind you.

When you do this exercise vigorously, it will increase your circulation and reduce the heaviness that is common in Earth types.

FIRE PERSONALITIES

Fire personalities are intelligent, passionate, and intense. And if they develop too much "fire," they may get irritated and become critical. Digestion problems and high blood pressure may occur.

Helpful exercise: The Half-Lotus Posture. This is the position that is most often associated with yoga (and Buddy's favorite while typing websites). Sit on the floor, knees bent with one leg crossed over the other ... Rest your hands on your knees, close your eyes, and become aware of your abdominal breathing by focusing on your stomach rising and falling. Do this for a few minutes. Aim: To get more connected with your body so you aren't so driven by the mind.

WIND PERSONALITY

People with a predominance of wind (pardon the expression) usually are usually thin, quick-moving, and enthusiastic. Stress can make them excessively turbulent. Their minds start racing, they may have anxiety or insomnia, and digestion may become irregular.

Helpful exercise: The Diamond Pose. Kneel down, and sit back on your heels. Hold your hands loosely in your lap, keeping your back straight. Using your thigh muscles, slowly raise yourself off your heels a few inches. Now hold the position for several seconds, then slowly lower your bottom (there's that word again) ... back onto your heels. Repeat this several times. This is a "grounding" exercise that helps stop the mind from racing.

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BREATHING EXERCISE

You've heard it before, but sometimes all it takes to make you feel better is one simple change. Changing the way you breathe can make all the difference in how you feel. Here is one of the best and simplest ways of introducing yourself to stress effective breathing.

  1. Either lying or sitting comfortably, put one hand on your belly and your other hand on your chest.

  2. Inhale through your nose, making sure that the hand on your belly rises and the hand on your chest moves hardly at all.

  3. As you inhale slowly, count silently to 3.

  4. As you exhale, slowly count to 4, feeling the hand on your belly falling gently.

    Return to ... Menu

    TIPS FOR A SAFE RUNNING PROGRAM

    Running injuries are quite common. But they can be reduced if you follow the proper conditioning and training programs; wear the appropriate apparel and footwear; and are aware of your running environment. Follow these guidelines to prevent injuries.

    Plan a progressive running program to prevent injuries. A five-minute warm-up (which should raise your temperature by one degree) followed by stretching exercises, is essential before starting a run. Following the run, stretching again is important.

    During hot weather, run in the early morning or evening, to avoid heat exhaustion. Do not run when pollution levels are high.

    Start your run with the body feeling "a little cool" since body temperature will increase when you start running.

    You can lose between six and 12 ounces of fluid for every 20 minutes of running. Drink 10-15 ounces of fluid 10 to 15 minutes prior to running and every 20 to 30 minutes along your route. Weigh yourself before and after a run. For every pound lost, drink one pint of fluid.

    Run in the shade if possible to avoid direct sun. If exposed to the sun, apply at least #15 sunscreen. Wear sunglasses to filter out UVA and UVB rays, and wear a hat with a visor to shade your eyes and face.

    In high altitudes, runners should gradually acclimate themselves to lower oxygen levels, by slow, steady increases in speed and distance.

    When selecting a running shoe, look for good shock absorption and construction that will provide stability and cushioning to the foot. Make sure that there is a thumbnail's width between the end of the longest toe and the end of the shoe. Buy shoes at the end of the day when the foot is the largest.

    Sixty percent of a shoe's shock absorption is lost after 250-500 miles of use, so people who run up to 10 miles per week should consider replacing their shoes every nine to 12 months.

    Excessive clothing can produce sweating, which causes the body to lose heat rapidly and can increase the risk of hypothermia. Instead, dress in layers. The inner layer should be material that takes perspiration away from the skin (polypropylene, thermax); the middle layer (not necessary for legs) should be for insulation and absorbing moisture (cotton); the outer layer should protect against wind and moisture (nylon).

    To avoid frostbite in cold weather, do not have gaps of bare skin between gloves and jackets, wear a hat, and cover the neck. Petroleum jelly can be used on exposed areas, such as the nose.

    Do not run at night, but if you run at dusk or dawn, wear reflective material. Don't wear a headset or jewelry while running.

    Run with a partner. If alone, carry identification, or write your name, phone number, blood type, and medical information on the inside sole of your running shoe.

    Let others know where you will be running, and stay in familiar areas, away from traffic. Have a whistle or other noisemaker to use in an emergency and carry change in case you need to make a phone call.

    Whenever possible, run on a clear, smooth, resilient, even, and reasonably soft surface. Avoid running on hills, which increases stress on the ankle and foot. When running on curved surfaces, change directions in forward movement, so that you have even pressure on both feet during the run.

    IDENTIFYING THE FAT FACTOR

    The best guide to who's overweight is BMI (body mass index), a measurement created by the National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute. BMI relates height to weight to estimate body "fatness," a predictor of your risk of weight related problem such as high blood pressure, heart disease, strroke, gallbladder disease, arthritic pain … and diabetes.

    A "BMI" below 20 is underweight, a BMI of 20 to 20.9 is okey-dokey, a BMI of 25.1 to 29.9 is overweight, and a BMI of 30 or higher is obese. So what is your BMI?

    To find your BMI, plug your personal number into the following equation:

    W / H2 x 705 … or

    Weight (pounds) / Height (inches) squared x 705

    BMI is gender neutral. The equation for a man or woman who's 5'8" and weighs 170 pounds, looks like this:

    170 / 68 x 68 = 170 / 4624 = .0368 x 705 = 25.9

    Whew, I used my current figures and seems I have to take off a few.

    LIFE EXPECTANCY CALCULATOR

    Consider yourself warned: Depending on your age, diet, weight, and other "lifestyle" issues, this calcularor can end up being a pleasant surprise or terrifying agents of the grim reaper. More of an actuarial calculator than a game, it predicts how long you will live based on an initial round of questioning. Note: it has no apparent magical power, so don't use it just to make sure your next plane isn't going to crash. It's only apparent function is to make you aware of your need for a life insurance policy. So what does one say now?

    Good Luck ... Life Expectancy Calculator … Good Luck

    Still not happy?
    Wouldn't proper diet, exercise, and smart living get you better results?

    Patient: "Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress.
    I keep losing my temper with people."

    Doctor: "I see, tell me about your problem."

    Patient: I just did, you stupid idiot.

    Is this page worth it? ... ... so why not let me know.

    If you must go back to … Health Page 1 … this is the way to go.
    Should you care to continue ... Health Page 4 ... it has exercise wisdom.
    Or we return to our … Navigator … hoping you're well.

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