Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. - I think it's very serious. If I remember correctly, this is how it manifests itself:

I decide to wash my car. As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the hall table. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. I lay my car keys down on the table, separate the bills, and put the junk mail in the trashcan under the table. Then I notice that the trash can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the trash first. But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the trash anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only one check left. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go to my desk where I find the bottle of beer that I had been drinking.

I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the beer aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. I see that the beer is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the beer, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye - they need to be watered. I set the beer down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers. I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table. I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, we will be looking for the remote, but nobody will remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.

I splash some water on the flowers, but most of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill. Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day: the car isn't washed, the bills aren't paid, there is a warm bottle of beer sitting on the counter, the flowers aren't watered, there is still only one check in my checkbook, I can't find the remote, I can't find my glasses, and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, I'm really tired, and I don't know what happened. I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.

Do me a favor, will you? I know I was supposed to send this to someone; it's just that I don't remember whom I was supposed to send it to. Maybe (just maybe), if you send it to everyone you know, eventually it will end up with the person who was supposed to get it. So please forward it; that someone will eventually get it.

Yours truly,
(let's see now, what's my name?)


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