... Murphy's Laws ...

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First a word about Murphy's Law ... If anything can go wrong, it will. That is Murphy's Law. But who was Murphy?

The term was coined in 1949. The Murphy in question is Captain Ed Murphy, a development engineer assigned to Colonel J.P. Stapp's research on the rocket sleds that tested the limits of human endurance of high acceleration at Edwards Field, Calfornia. Murphy was referring to a particular technician, whose name has been lost to history, who had wired a piece of equipment incorrectly when he remarked, "if there is any way to to do things wrong, he will." A few weeks later in a press conference, Stapp credited his program's safety record to planning for Murphy's Law. The rest was history.

1. A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved from a simple system that works.
   
2. A computer makes as many mistakes in two seconds as 20 men working 20 years make.
   
3. A failure will not appear till a unit has passed final inspection.
   
4. A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and the hours are lost.
   
5. After all is said and done, a hell of a lot more is said than done.
   
6. All great discoveries are made by mistake.
   
7. All things are possible except skiing through a revolving door.
   
8. Almost anything is easier to get into than out of.
   
9. An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he knows absolutely everything about nothing.
   
10. Any circuit design must contain at least one part which is obsolete, two parts which are unobtainable and three parts which are still under development.
    
11. Any given program, when running, is obsolete.
    
12. Any instrument when dropped will roll into the least accessible corner.
    
13. Any simple theory will be worded in the most complicated way.
    
14. Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
    
15. Anybody can win -- unless there happens to be a second entry.
    
16. Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.
    
17. Availability is a function of time. The minute you get interested is the minute they find someone else.
    
18. Build a system that even a fool can use and only a fool will want to use it.
    
19. Computers are unreliable, but humans are even more unreliable. Any system which depends on human reliability is unreliable.
    
20. Don't be conspicuous; it draws fire.
    
21. Enough research will tend to support your theory.
    
22. Every kind action has a not-so-kind reaction.
    
23. Every solution breeds new problems.
    
24. Everything goes wrong all at once.
    
25. Everything takes longer than you think.
    
26. Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. And scratch where it itches.
    
27. Give all orders verbally. Never write anything down that might be held against you.
    
28. If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.
    
29. If anything simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway.
    
30. If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.
    
31. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
    
32. If it doesn't matter, it does not matter.
    
33. If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.
    
34. If it's not in the computer, it doesn't exist.
    
35. If mathematically you end up with the incorrect answer, try multiplying by the page number.
    
36. If there is a possibility of several things going wrong the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.
    
37. If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong. Corollary: If there is a worse time for something to go wrong, it will happen then.
    
38. If we have everything to gain by change, relax.
    
39. If we have nothing to lose by change, relax.
    
40. If we lose much by having things go wrong, take all possible care.
    
41. If you can't understand it, it is intuitively obvious.
    
42. If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop.
    
43. If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap.
    
44. If your advance is going well, you are walking into an ambush.
    
45. In designing any type of construction, no overall dimension can be totaled correctly after 4:30 p.m. on Friday. The correct total will become self-evident at 8:15 a.m. on Monday.
    
46. It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
    
47. Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
    
48. Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.
    
49. Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
    
50. Money can't buy love, but it sure gets you a great bargaining position.
    
51. Mother nature is a bitch.
    
52. Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.
    
53. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you are.
    
54. New systems generate new problems.
    
55. Nice guys(girls) finish last.
    
56. No battle plan ever survives contact with the enemy.
    
57. Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.
    
58. Nothing is as easy as it looks.
    
59. Nothing motivates a man more than to see his boss putting in an honest day's work.
    
60. Smile ... tomorrow will be worse.
    
61. Some people manage by the book, even though they don't know who wrote the book or even what's in the book.
    
62. Technology is dominated by those who manage what they do not understand.
    
63. Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch to be sure.
    
64. The attention span of a computer is only as long as it electrical cord.
    
65. The best things in the world are free --- and worth every penny of it.
    
66. The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.
    
67. The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
    
68. The degree of technical competence is inversely proportional to the level of management.
    
69. The first myth of management is that it exists.
    
70. The further you are in advance of your own positions, the more likely your artillery will shoot short.
    
71. The legibility of a copy is inversely proportional to its importance.
    
72. The lion and the calf shall lie down together, but the calf won't get much sleep.
    
73. The more cordial the buyer's secretary, the greater the odds that the competition already has the order.
    
74. The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.
    
75. The nicer someone is, the farther away (s)he is from you.
    
76. The objective of all dedicated product support employees should be to thoroughly analyze all situations, anticipate all problems prior to their occurrence, have answers for these problems, and move swiftly to solve these problems when called upon. However, when you are up to your ass in alligators, just remember that your first objective was to drain the swamp.
    
77. The only perfect science is hind-sight.
    
78. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
    
79. The only time suppressive fire works is when it is used on abandoned positions.
    
80. The opulence of the front office decor varies inversely with the fundamental solvency of the firm.
    
81. The primary function of the design engineer is to make things difficult for the fabricator and impossible for the serviceman.
    
82. The problem with taking the easy way out is that the enemy has already mined it.
    
83. The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.
    
84. There is nothing more satisfying that having someone take a shot at you, and miss.
    
85. Things get worse under pressure.
    
86. To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.
    
87. To spot the expert, pick the one who predicts the job will take the longest and cost the most.
    
88. Under the most rigorously controlled conditions of pressure, temperature, volume, humidity, and other variables the organism will do as it damn well pleases.
    
89. We don't know one millionth of one percent about anything.
    
90. Whatever you are looking for, all the good ones are taken. And if the person isn't taken, there's a reason.
    
91. When all else fails, read the instructions.
    
92. When there is a very long road upon which there is a one-way bridge placed at random, and there are only two cars on that road, it follows that: (1) the two cars are going in opposite directions, and (2) they will always meet at the bridge.
    
93. Whenever a system becomes completely defined, some damn fool discovers something which either abolishes the system or expands it beyond recognition.
    
94. Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first.
    
95. Work smarter and not harder and be careful of yor speling.
    
96. You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the track.
    
97. You cannot successfully determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter.
    
98. You never run out of things that can go wrong.