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Who am I kidding, I still want to get married.
But because I am who I am I never wanted a "normal" marriage. I always wanted something strange and special, but still I wanted a story book romance. I want to be loved in that way that stories always end, in that way that may not exist in real life. I want to be loved.
So when people hear the story of my life it is easy for them to say ah-ha she wanted to be rescued by a knight in shining armor, that is why it didn't work. There are no knights in shining armor any more. And even when there were they never did come to the rescue of peasant girls.
And maybe they are right that counting on stories is my downfall. But I never wanted to be Sleeping Beauty or Snow White. I was never the Princess waiting for the Knight to rescue me.
My story is more like Beauty and the Beast or the Frog Prince. My prison is not an endless sleep but a fierce demeanor that frightens all my potential rescuers away. To break my curse I need someone to see past the scary exterior and love the person inside. But as you can see from the stories only women can see past the surface enough to break that spell and they only do it for men.
Princesses get rescued because of their beauty. Only Princes get rescued in spite of their ugliness.
I suppose that is the worst part about how my ex-fiancée let me down. When he thought I was a beautiful princess he said he loved me but when he saw my darker side he could not love me anymore.
It is a cruel curse indeed, to know that you are beautiful when no one else can see it. I would rather be mercifully unconscious waiting for the kiss, then have keep on struggling every day knowing that I may never be freed from my curse.
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