One year to the day, Katti and Joel were married. Sparing no expense Joel's family went all out to
be the family that Katti was missing. Katti looked beautiful in her gown of white, long and flowing,
with tiny pearls down the back from the neck line to the waste. As she walked down the isle, Joel
thought his heart would burst with the love he felt for this woman. God had been good to him, he  
thought.

As they laid in their wedding bed exhausted, Joel asked Katti, " are you truly happy with me".
Katti, looked into Joel's wonderful dark eyes, smiling she whispered, " I will never love another
in all of my life." Then Katti placed her large lips on Joel's mouth and kissed him...with all the 
feeling she had inside of her.

Katti, quit her job at Joel's insistence. This gave her the time to attend college full time. Taking
was she called the crusher course in business, Katti hit the books, reading, reading and more 
reading. She wanted to catch up and get her bachelors degree in hopes of going on for Masters
at another time. The BA would help her get started in the work force. She would apply with
a chain of Hotel, Motel conglomerant hoping to get in at ground level but work her way up the
ladder to management. To make Joel proud of her, after all he was a well respected attorney 
with political ambitions for the future. How would it look if she couldn't hold her own in the 
world of business. No! Katti was going to make it, and she used every spare minute she had
in trying.

The night was pitch black, no stars, no moon, nothing still, not a sound as they drove down the
lonely road to home. Katti and Joel had been married just under two years, she was carrying their
first child. From the ultra sound she knew it was a girl, but Joel didn't want to know. So she kept
it a surprise. He would just have to wait to find out when it came. Joel was elated, about the coming
of the baby. He couldn't do enough for Katti. His parents had become her parents. Taking care of
her, cooking, cleaning the house. "I can do it" she would complain. "Nonsense" Amanda, Joel's 
mother would tell her. 

"This is my first grandchild, so you just take it easy."

Katti, couldn't be happier she had the most wonderful life she could have even imagined. So
lying there in the seat snuggled next to her husband was just where she wanted to be. Idle 
conversation about the event they just left. A fund raiser for cancer children. 

Late last year, Joel had moved them out to his parents house, just until the baby was born. He told
Katti, as soon as the baby came he they would move back to the city. Joel's bachelor pad had turned
into a home for them. A large three bedroom apartment in the heart of Chicago. This was what he called
home, yet he didn't feel safe leaving her there while he went off to work. So he talked her into moving in with 
his parents two months ago. The baby would be here any day now, and giving them a couple of months to
settle the baby in, they would move back. He would find some kind of help for her to take care of thing.

Joel grew up in Illinois, just outside Chicago, about a 45 minute ride south of the city, down near the Indiana 
border. So it was not hard coming back to his family home, where he spent his childhood. Katti,
moaned  softly.

"Are you all right?" he asked, trying to look at her in the dark. "Yep, just a little bit tired" Katti's answer came
with a hug to his side. Joel was thinking about the baby coming, if it was a boy he would love it, but deep down
he was hoping for a girl, a tiny replica of Katti. Daddy's girl, when out of the side of his eye he caught the 
movement. Damn he slammed on his breaks, as his arm went out to hold Katti from going forward. He hit 
the deer full on...then a second one came from god knows where. That one he didn't see at all...and the impact 
came full force.  The car spun sideways....and with the breaks locked up tight, it slid off the road, down into a 
rivene. The last thing he knew before the final hit was Katti's screams in his ears. {Oh god,} he thought, he let
go of the wheel to grab her and wrap her in his arms.

Katti woke up in the hospital, two months had passed since the accident. Looking around she wasn't sure what
was what. A moan came from her throat, that brought the attention of an orderly just outside her door. "She's
awake" he yelled down the hall. Katti heard foot steps come running.  The door opened to let in a troop of
hospital staff. "Get the Doctor in here" the head nurse said in her comings. "Thank God Katti your awake", the 
nurse stated more than anything else. Taking hold of Kati's right wrist, the nurse took her pulse. Then came 
the temperature. Then came the questions.

"How do you feel?"
"Do you know how you are?"
"Do you know where you are?"

Katti wanted to shout at her,  damn it of course I do, but the words didn't come out. Her throat was dry and
parched from being idle so long. Tears came to her eyes, she wanted to know where was her husband. What
happened that night.....then her mind came to attention, and her eyes traveled to her stomach, {oh god , what
about my baby} she thought.

The doctor entered the room, again he went over almost all the things the nurse just did. Then he came before
her, saying:

"Katti, do you know who you are?  Don't speak just nod if you do?

Katti nodded her head yes.

"Do you know where you are at?"

Again she nodded yes.

"Katti do you remember anything about that night and the accident.?"

Did she, she thought. They were coming home from the fund raiser, they were talking and a deer jumped into the 
road. Joel lost control of the car and they went down in the embankment. That was the last she remembered.
Shaking her head no. she reached slowly up  to wipe away the tears.

With a raspy voice, she asked "where is Joel, my husband?"

The doctor, took her hand, handing her kleenex in the other hand,  "my dear" it's been two months since the accident.
You have been in a coma. We were just hoping for the best. You had a child"    Tears came to her eyes, he was going
to tell her that their baby died. The child that she and Joel wanted more than anything. Oh god could she bare it.

"Your baby, was a find healthy girl" he said.

Katti couldn't believe her ears and through the tears she listened as he continued. "Your in-laws are talking care of
her. They come everyday to visit you. I am sure they will be so excited to hear you are awake and talking."

"What about Joel" came her cry. "Where is my husband"

"Katti, you have to be strong, you have a baby that needs you." he said.

What was he saying to her be strong, of course she was going to be strong, her baby and her husband needed her.

"Joel died on his way to the hospital, he lived long enough to know that the baby was born" the doctor told her.

Shocked at his words....Katti could not feed the words to her brain. She laid there frozen to the bed, and from 
somewhere deep inside her came a howl, a cry, a scream for the injustice of it. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, not
my Joel, OH GOD NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO













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