Central High School A-Team

The Lighter Side

Below you'll find a little bit (very little) of A-Team humor which may in some small way help to explain some of the more oblique references made on other pages. We can only hope...

TOP TEN BEST THINGS ABOUT BEING AN ACADEMIC TEAM COACH

#10. Going out to dinner with administrators and other coaches at the end of the year.

#9. The thrill you feel when everyone calls you "Coach".

#8. Academic team coach gets fourth block off to take care of team business.

#7. All those pep rallies for the academic team.

#6. Free beer.

#5. Having your own web page in which to bash the other "less successful" teams at your school.

#4. Unlimited funding

#3. Mega media exposure in the local newspaper.

#2. Being able to take the academicians to a nearby university so they can become acclimated to Astroturf buzzers.

And the absolute best thing about being an Academic Team Coach is

#1. Two words- Coaching supplement.

CHS ACADEMIC TEAM LEXICON

Church of God Rate- An unspecified amount of money, but assumed to be less than eight dollars (see below); Cookeville turn- The death defying maneuver initiated by the Mighty Academic Team Van when attempting to enter I-24 (although if the truth be told the van was going no faster than 10 mph, 15 tops); Do you see that table over there?- Comment made by Hannah, a frazzled waitress at Perkin’s, after; taking our order, in reference to the huge group of people head of us; Don't touch my dinosaur! -Has its origin in OM, but has since been corrupted by JV members to mean something entirely different.; DUI- Obviously the name of a homicidal maniac who frequents area along 1-75 as evidenced by the numerous signs along the interstate which read "DUI Kills"; Eight dollars- Apparently the going rate for a certain JV player; Dorman- Any match played against a team whom you have no chance of beating; Her-bert- Originally an incorrect answer given in response to a sci-fi question, now any incorrect answer given with a great deal of enthusiasm and confidence; I know this... Said by A-Team member after buzzing in for no apparent reason and unable to give any credible response; Instruments of Indignation- Nickname of the CHS Academic Team taken from Isaiah 13; IRATE- Acronym for Incorrect Response After Toss-up Early, also describes condition of coach after such an occurrence; Kenny Rogers' Roasters- According to one A-Teamer, the nation's third largest fast food franchise; Liberace- Orig. an answer given in response to a question asking for "possibly the most famous composer of all time ", now any such moronic answer; OTIS- Orig. an acronym for Other Team Is Stupid, a derogatory remark directed to opponents; now a self deprecatory remark (Our Team Is Stupid); Paper Boy- Captain of the Cookeville team who had an unusual habit of consuming paper when stressed; Patella, Patella, Patella- Uttered by an A-Teamer while pummeling a teammate with her elbow; Playing defense- The ability of certain female members of the team to distract male opponents through devious methods; Sewing Guy- Scott Spurlock, so named for his uncanny ability to answer all questions of a sewing nature; Shabby- Alias of a former Tullahoma captain; Shawn?- End of a question by an A-Teamer to the aforementioned Shawn who at the moment was actually in the car behind us.; Son of Shabby- Moniker assigned to a certain Tullahoma player who is similar in freakiness to the original Shabby; Stacy Horner- Description of anyone who claims the buzzer one is using is not working properly; Subway, Fazoli's, Cracker Barrel- Official eating establishments of the CHS Academic Team; Terry- Reportedly my name as given by a senior member of the team in an inspirational; pep talk to his teammates at the 1999 state tournament admonishing them to "not worry about winning this game for the school or for Terry"
: "That is so in the cake"- comment made by an A-Teamer at the end of the year party when a pen inadvertently ended up, well, in her piece of cake.

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