I Wanted...
I wanted you to hold me still
To find safety in your arms
Just comfort me and let me cry
I need to let it out
It wells inside
And needs release
Please hold me in your arms
Instead I got
A stinging slap
Supposed to wake me up
“No time for this” is what you said
“So much that must be done”
“Emotions are too frivolous”
Is what you always said
“Stop those tears“
“Get over here”
“Its time to do your chores”
“You are so oversensitive”
“And this you need to change”
“You’ll never make it in this life”
“You must learn to be more strong”
Why could we never take a walk
So we could be alone
I had so much to say to you
I still need to let it out
I am not strong
I can’t be strong
I’m just a little girl
I wanted just to be your girl
Your treasured little one
To know that you would care for me
And to my side you’d rush
To care for me
Protect me still
But this you couldn’t be
You couldn’t be
The one I need
There was no room for that
Your heart was full of other things
Leaving me to think
To have those needs was wrong of me
Must be a soldier now
“Stop it now”
“Stand up straight”
“Wipe those silly tears”
“Or I’ll give you things to cry about”
“And then you’ll have regrets”
I heard you say it many times
“To be strong is to be good”
Its what you wanted me to be
One more time
I’ve let you down
Because this I cannot be
I am not strong
I can’t be strong
I’m just a little girl
Looked inside the other day
I saw that little girl
I said “come out”
“It’s finally safe”
“For you to be yourself”
“I’ll care for you”
“I’ll protect you now”
“You can be that little girl”
“I’ll hold you and I’ll hold you”
“I’ll never let you go”
“I’ll be there and I’ll stay there”
“I’ll be what you’ll always need”
It will give you time
To let the pain
Come tumbling from your heart
She said, “I can’t”
“Can’t be that one”
“Can’t be little any more”
Its funny and its sad
That its turned out quite this way
“I became the one”
“You asked of me”
“I’m much too strong for that”
8-7-01
(jml)
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