This Moment...
This moment is significant
In the journey
That I’m on
It’s time to face
These fears of mine
Instead of holding back
They’ve held me captive
All my life and threaten
Even now
One more time
to steal away
The life that could be mine
I am afraid
So much afraid
Of what I am not sure
But what I know
Is that I am
Trembling even now
Must face the fear
Not run away
Been running a far too long
I must choose
To do this thing
In order to break free
But I am afraid
So much afraid
The tears they well within
Who will stand
Beside me then
And help me to be strong
Tell my story
I must do
In order to be free
But will it kill
Or crush me still
Before this can ever be
I’m haunted by
Things gone before
I cannot shake them off
I tried to place them
In a box
And put them on the shelf
They didn’t stay
They climbed right out
They wanted to be known
They’ve been so loud
And noisy now
A cacophony of pain
I am afraid
So much afraid
Of what this means for me
To cross this line
To do this thing
Will take me to a place
I am not sure
I want to go
Can it ever be as safe
I’ve not been living
I’ve been told
Mere survival now at work
But can’t you see
It’s got me here
It’s been a worthy friend
The walls come down
I’ve let you in
It will never be the same
I don’t know how
To live outside
My high high walls of stone
They’ve kept me safe
Or so I thought
Protected me from the pain
A prison
I’d constructed
With my very own hands
It seemed at first
The thing to do
I built it brick by brick
To keep away
Those things that hurt
When I was not as strong
With each pain
I slapped one down
And built it up some more
Woke up one day
To realize
That I was locked inside
I’ve worked so hard
To tear them down
Bit by stinking bit
It takes more work
To take them down
Than first to put them up
It could be that
This moment now
Could shake the tower high
And cause to crash
These bricks of mine
Or at least could shake some loose
But I am afraid
So much afraid
Of things I am not sure
But this moment is significant
In where I go from here
Will I hide or run away
It’s all now up to me
There are some things
That I alone must choose to face and do
It’s time to face
These fears of mine
To put them all to rest
This moment is significant
Of that I am so sure
What I do determines now
Where I go from here
4-1-2001
(jml)
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