My Future Has a Past
My future has a past
One I’ve never cared to know
As unwelcome kin
One day appears
And stands upon my steps
Resounding loud
She raps upon my door
But I refuse
To let her in
Because I know that face
Through the peephole
I have glanced
That ugly ugly face
It matters not that I’m divorced
From my own history
I’ve cut it off
And said no more
At least in my own mind
I have no room
For you to stay
You are not welcome here
But I can’t erase my history
No matter how I try
It tells me who
I am today
And how I got this far
It tells me not my value
Or what I can now do
But how I got here helps me see
Where I go from here
I must let her in to chat
And visit now with me
If I’m to learn from things gone by
Where I go from here
My future was stuck
And stumbling around
Unsure of how to go
I ask her things about herself
She paints me pictures too
She shares with me the life she lived
Both good and troublesome
I think I feared to let her in
Because she’d settle down
And make herself more comfortable
Than I wanted her to be
But she’s settled in
Routine takes shape
She’s become somewhat a friend
I’ve learned from her
So much makes sense
My future starts to move
All at once she’s made great strides
And found direction that she lacked
My past no longer a visitor
She lives here now with me
Its not so bad as I once thought
They are companions now
They collaborate
And talk things through
They help each other move
First the one, then the other
They gain more strength this way
My future has a past
One I never cared to know
But now I do and I am glad
For my future’s brighter too
She’s happier and hopeful now
More than ever was before
My past and future
Are melded now
In fact they’re holding hands
They move ahead
With confidence
For they are not alone
Who could have imagined
That the future needs
A past to be set free
8-23-2001
(jml)
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