I lost my gold watch at camp one time, and when I went to ask the staff if they had seen it this one guy shouted out, "Good!" when I said I had lost it. This really made me feel bad and has scarred me for life. I don’t know what to do. I feel so depressed!
---Pastor D.
Dear Pastor D.,
Wow! I can understand why you’re so upset! That was an incredibly insensitive thing for that guy to say, and uncalled for to say the least. I know that you must be dealing with a lot of unwanted excess baggage relating to the incident right now, and this will be hard to get over, but getting over it is the only way you’ll ever be happy again.
The thing is, some people aren’t sensitive to others’ predicaments. That gold watch was probably special to you or held some sort of sentimental value, a birthday gift from your wife perhaps, or maybe your late grandfather’s precious trinket. Saying that it was, "GOOD!" you lost your watch wasn’t the best way to comfort you.
You have to just shrug it off and chalk it up to a learning experience. Not everyone is going to think that your problems are a big deal, even if to you they are. And let me tell you, no matter what anyone says, if something upsets you, it’s okay, even if others see it as a dumb thing to be concerned with. Different people are upset by different things.
There is another possibility by the way. Was this guy looking at you when he said it was good you lost your watch? Or did he have his back to you? If he was looking right at you and said this with a straight face, you have every reason in the world to be angry. But if he didn’t, maybe he was confused and thought you were someone else, a friend he was kidding or someone he didn’t like. Chances are, he didn’t mean to hurt your feelings or scar you for life.
My suggestion is that if you feel comfortable, confront this person next summer at camp. Remind him of what he said, and tell him that when he said it was good that you lost your watch it had a significant impact on your self-esteem. I’m sure things will work out for you.
In the meantime, there are support groups you can call. I’ll list the numbers for you:
1-800-LOST-MY-WATCH
1-800-LOST-GOLD
1-800-NOT-GOOD
Any one of these hotlines can provide you with a counselor willing to talk to you one on one about your problem.
Good luck!
----Lydia