Chapter 12: A Vision
Belief is the death of intelligence. As soon as one believes a doctrine of any sort, or assumes certitude, one stops thinking about that aspect of existence. - Robert Anton Wilson
One day four years past my 18th birthday, in the Bluegrass Region of Kentucky. A few years earlier I had rejected a life as a civilized person and instead chose to search for the right way to live. Dropped out of college, hopefully, for the last time, though I would probably go back the next semester. Civilization still controlled me. I still occasionally went back to live by its rules. I still depended on civilization and still used money, even though I wanted to stop using it.
Under me were the lungs of the continent of North America. As the continent breathes and waters flow through the Earth, caves are formed, and there were caves all around me. In one cave were fossils of creatures born on the Earth, lived, and returned to the Earth when they died. You might ask, "why be born if you’re just going to die?" Perhaps you should consider how rare life is. Almost everything is dead. The fossil rocks are dead, but they were once alive and had a chance to experience life, which is what we are experiencing now. We are matter, and that is all we are, but a rare kind of matter, which has the privilege to be alive. Enjoy this experience.
Driving my car towards the Ohio River I passed through small towns. I do not like the people in Kentucky. They are mean, like a dog that has been beaten too much. People who do not know how to be pleasant are limiting themselves. We need to reach out and share happiness with other people, or else your culture could become bad-tempered. The trees in Kentucky are skinny and sickly looking. At one time Kentucky had bigger trees, but those were cut down.
I wanted to reach Ohio. People in Ohio are warm and friendly. Perhaps they are naive and do not realize what horror is. Horror is a lonely cold feeling. I met horror while growing up in South America in a big city, where walls separated people. Sao Paulo Brazil is a huge city. The city officials said that there were nine million people in the city, but I knew there were more people the government did not count. These people did not have walls of their own, but lived in slums between the walls. The only time I met them was when one of them would work for me as a servant. Many would be lying behind my wall, but most of my friends ignored them, because civilization taught them to do so. Neither did the government count them, nor did any of the other civilized people. Perhaps there were 30 million of them in the city all crowded into small areas. I was not crowded. My cubical space was big, and I was all alone in it. There were many other lonely people in the city. There are even bigger cities. You could ask, "why anyone let a city get so big?" The city officials might give you many reasons, but I know all they had to do to stop was stop and not build such large cities. Most of the officials do not realize what they are doing; the machine controls them. They do not control the machine.
I have escaped from the big city and now travel in a place where towns are small. Near these towns the people raise cattle on large open fields and there are very few walls. I came to an area full of cone shaped hills called knobs, which surround the Bluegrass region. The Ohio River was not far away.
I found a dead bull, which a flock of crows were eating. A few vultures were resting in a tree nearby. I began to wonder what This sight could teach me. Then I saw a cone-shaped hill rising out of a flat plain, with the setting Sun shining behind the peak. I felt a desire to climb the hill, a desire stronger than the desire for sex. It was winter, and all the leaves had fallen off the trees. The temperature was well below freezing and had been that way for many days, so all the snow was crisp. My climb should be easy. I should be back before dark. Venus was visible as an evening star. Jupiter was also visible and close to Venus. Perhaps the first unusual sight was a white vulture that passed overhead and flew behind the peak. Normally, there are no white vultures in the Ohio Valley, and albinos are rare and do not survive long. This one was mature, so it obviously had been surviving for some time. It was not a true albino. Its head and feet were a normal color, and only the feathers were white.
I sat on top of the hill and waited, but saw no visions that day. I did remember an old vision. This vision happened while I was at school during a study hall class, when I was seventeen. In that vision was a giant, woolly bull. It might be my guardian angel, because it often appears as animals, such as jaguars or wolves. But this time my angel appeared in a sort of human form and said, "Life is meant to have fun. Some people can’t understand that."
My muse appeared. She usually appears as a beautiful tall, blond-haired girl with light gray eyes. She asked me if I believed what the angel said. I replied, "Yes." In this case "yes" was like a magical word, which unlocked many mysteries. I found myself in a black room. Nothing happened for a long time so, I decided to leave, but could not. Usually, I can end the vision at will, but this time I was stuck. I always felt as if my muse was the cause of my loneliness, and I thought that this time she had locked me up for good. A door that was not there before opened. I could see that outside was the real world. A woman dressed in a black robe walked in. She looked like my muse, except that her eyes were silver. She held a bundle wrapped in black cloth. She said, "I come from the father, because he has chosen it to be so. I am the daughter of the son, when he is a destroyer. I am part of the Holy Spirit." She placed the bundle on the black floor. When I unwrapped the bundle, several butterflies flew away. My guardian said that they were false ideas and that I should not chase them. The silver-eyed woman was now three young girls, one with red hair, one with black hair, and one with blond. The red-haired girl sank into the floor and became the Earth. The dark-haired girl became a darkened forest, which was dark because it was full of life. The blond-haired girl became a bright light, and said, "I have guided many before you and I will guide many after you." She disappeared, but I could still feel the light inside everything, as I sat alone inside the darkened forest. I noticed that now I was wearing the black robe. The door opened and I walked out. Outside was a quiet street in a busy town. I saw my muse and walked along with her for a while, She is usually aloof and untouchable. I still could not touch her, but this time she was actually talking to me, rather than just making statements and then disappearing like she usually did. She said that I was going to get the great vision that I was nagging for all the time. I saw a horse that I would be riding into the vision. Suddenly, I snapped out of the vision and was back in school. The people around me did not seem to notice anything.
The great vision that the muse mentioned did eventually happen each day, over several weeks, in the same study hall at the school. In this vision was a world after the fall of civilization; it was a good world. This vision became the foundation of all my visions. Almost five years had passed since I first saw that world. During those years I had assembled a lot of ideas and knew that it was time to spread the word of the Sacred Grove. Time to write this book.
I noticed, when I was nine, how everyone was involved with each other. I did not fit in. I tried, but it did not work. There was this field where farmers would leave the heads of cows. Cow parts covered the hillside. Some parts were left in burning piles, and there were always many vultures there. New skulls were full of beetles. I would hang around there. The nuns told me that I did not belong there. They wanted me with the other kids, but I did not belong there, either. The fact that flesh is eaten quickly in the tropics seemed more important to me than anything that the nuns were saying.
Later that day, two pyramids, which turned over on their sides and moved together, till their points touched. Then, they inserted these points into each other. At the place where they merged, a space was formed. They moved into each other till all that was left was a flat plane, with the space inside. I had seen this vision before, but could not get close enough to look into the space. Now, I could and saw a horrible thing. This just the tip of the iceberg, bobbing above the surface of a sea that I would sink into deeper and deeper. The iceberg had just hit me, opening a hole in my world. The water started rushing in. If I had known it was coming, I might have avoided it, but it was too late now. My course was set a long time ago. From the very beginning I had been going in this particular direction.
Reality for me is twisted. You are out there, I am in here. The door between is the twist in reality between the two sides. I do not recommend this view of reality for anyone. This twist gives me a perspective that most people do not have, and it also makes me say things that most people do not say. I also do things most people do not do.
The image inside the area where the two pyramids merged, was a bitter, angry, lonely man, who would be me. I was nine years old at the time. By the time I was a teenager, the prophecy came true. When I was seventeen, I saw the pyramids again come together. This time I looked inside and saw myself as a nine-year-old boy who had wandered off into the forest. A poisonous snake bit him. He refused to go back to civilization for help, because he did not want to go back. He wanted to be sure that he could survive on his own. Eventually, he fell unconscious, but his natural immunity kept him alive. He took a lot of pride in being able to survive without medical technology. A black jaguar walked near him, and he sensed it. In time he woke up and was free. This snakebite never really happened. The vision pretended as if it really happened. What I was looking at, was what my mind did. Some people would say that I failed at civilization, and that is why I turned against it; they are probably right.
One night when my life seemed pointless, I asked my muse why I was born in this century, when Shamans are rejected, rather than in an age when they were accepted? She asked, "How was the evil empire Acheron destroyed?"
Knowing that myth, it is from the Conan The Barbarian stories, I said, "By the magic of a feathered Shaman, who had discovered the secret that held civilization together."
She said, "This is the time that needs you."
Suddenly, I found myself in a room full of old men. The oldest-looking one said, "You volunteered for this job. Those people are about to destroy themselves, so you sent yourself to save them." I told him that I was not accomplishing much, so he said, "I did it and so can you."
I asked, "Who are you?"
He said, "I’m you in the future. We will be known as the greatest prophet to ever live. There are people in the year 3027 who are actually afraid to even speak our name. Virgins actually sacrifice themselves on altars with animated images of us. A page of our original sloppy handwriting will become a holy relic, hidden on top of a mountain. Christianity will be dead, but the Vatican will still have a Pope, who will spend his whole day praising our name. The guardians of the Sacred Grove, who spend most of their time fighting gladiator-style, will consider us the greatest warrior who ever lived. Mystics will search their whole lives just to have a vision of us."
Wow! What delusions of grandeur invented to cheer myself up. If this guy is me, then I know how full of shit he can be. Many people say that I am going to burn in Hell for what I believe. I do not care. I would rather do what I think is good than follow some evil God. If he sends people to Hell for that, then those who follow him and go to Heaven are evil just like him.
The Solar Elements of the Zodiac
Some people might wonder if I have one God or many gods. Actually I have both and so do you.
The cosmic ocean can be pictured as a Serpent. This Serpent was know to the ancient Greeks under many names. The name I prefer is Ophion. Let me tell you about a Phoenician word Olam that means eternity. The Phoenicians came from the Middle East where they were called Canaanites. These are same Canaanites that Hebrews accused of being Idol worshipers. In fact Canaanite mysticism and Hebrews mysticism are almost identical. The traditional guardians of eternity are four complex symbols, called YAHU, written as YEOU. The letters in YEOU are four Angels.
The "Y" is a man, whose sign is Aquarius; his planet is Venus; his element, air, and his direction, west. This man can be the Solar Being, called Samas. He is the inner reality of the future self or a picture of destiny. For me, the man can be any man, or my Guardian Angel, or myself. I usually do not even notice him.
The "E" is a. Bull, whose sign is Taurus; his element is Earth, and his direction, north. He is a Solar Zeus-Dionysus called Baal He is the life giving fertile force in the Earth that can bring back life each year.
The "O" is a lion; his sign is Leo; his element, fire; his planet, the Morning Star, and his direction, east. He is a solar Lucifer, who can take life. His name is OL. He is a kind of murdering purifier, a somewhat deadly force in nature. I usually see him as a jaguar.
The "U" is a Vulture. His sign is Scorpio; his element, is water; his planet, Earth, and his direction, south. He is a solar Mercury, called Nebo, a wise old man. Many people today picture this symbol as an eagle, but the vulture is the original form. He tends to stay near a high peak, which I have to climb to find what I am looking for.
Supposedly, these four symbols once represented the four winds as used by the ancient people in the land of canaan. They were part of the vision of the prophet Ezekiel. Today they can represent anything you want. The Catholic Church uses these symbols to represent the four Apostles who wrote the four Gospels. They often picture Christ with these symbols around him. I identify them with the Sun because they are sources of power just like the sun. A lot of things can be identified with the Sun. A man, a bull, a jaguar, and a vulture are some of the most common symbols in my visions. My muse uses these symbols to teach me.
The word Olam is still used frequently in Jewish prayers, but you do not need to be a Jew to understand it. We are all able to experience this concept in our deepest thoughts. We can all easily think of different philosophical theories of the eternal Serpent. We can imagine him as existing outside time where past present and future all exit at the same time. He is what always will be. The Serpent is not exactly the same as the ultimate power. He is a part of the ultimate reality, but the ultimate reality is beyond eternity. While examining this concept beware of using too much selective investigation. Selective investigation happens when you pick only information that confirms what you are trying to prove. You would learn more about the cosmos if you examine different angles. The ultimate reality could be beyond what you think right now. Even two ideas that seem to contradict can sometimes both be true.
Angels are nothing more than different angles. Some people call them Angels some people call them Gods. Canaanite mythology God has 72 children that are called the Elohim. Jewish mystics have 72 names of God. Ancient people had lots of imaginative ways of looking at the universe. One advantage to a religion with many gods is that it lets you look at the world in so many different ways. Christians and Muslims believe in only one God. Those with such faith do not look any further. By doing so they prevent themselves from seeing God.
The Phoenicians and the Greek shared the Mediterranean sea with each other. Both sides adopted ideas from each other. I really do not know if Ophion has anything to do with Olam. I skimmed through a few old books and picked up a few Ideas that I thought were interesting. Then I put these ideas together in ways that seemed to fit. I could be letting my imagination connect dots that are not really there. A lot of people who claim to be experts in the history of religion also invent fabricated stories. They invent these stories to attract attention. You can buy what they say or you can ignore them. Maybe some of them have something valid to say. Others might be just as fake as lonelygirl15.
Plato seems to think that valid ideas come from a person who has found the truth within there own soul. I do not think this method will work. It is too easy to fool yourself. I live in a weird fantasy world where I have trouble distinguishing truth from fact. I think other people have the same problem.
Have you ever seen a picture of the Serpent fighting the Thunderbird? This image has many different interpretations. It is not necessarily good verses evil. The Serpent is primordial and built into the cosmos. The Thunderbird is the current challenger. This war is the power and the glory everlasting. It represents all struggles, challenges and conflicts.
Hands
There are five vowels, A, E, I. O. U. The letters, J, Y, and I are all the same vowel and are interchangeable in sacred names. U, V, and W are the same vowel and are interchangeable in sacred names. We get these different letters for the same vowel, because the English alphabet is made of letters from the alphabets of many different cultures. These five vowels can be used to represent points on the five-pointed star.
The Morning Star and the Star of Man are both five-pointed stars, but are opposite images of each other. In most rituals where the Star of Man is hung in the Temple, it is hung on a wall where the "I" point would be hanging down, such as the north wall or the west wall. The Morning Star is usually drawn and hung on a wall where the "I" point would point up, such as the east or the south wall. The points of the star of Man are I, E, A, V, O, if you make the "S" of Mercury an "A." "A" means point, and Mercury is your point of view. The Morning Star is the mirror image of the star of Man. The Morning Star’s points are the points of destruction that represent the five times every eight years when the Morning Star is farthest from the Sun. The Morning Star’s points are in a clockwise order of A, E I, O, U, but actually the points of the Morning Star are read counter-clockwise. When you observe the Zodiac using an Earth-based reference point such as your hand, the constellations of the Zodiac appear to be ordered counterclockwise. This image may be seen in the image of the Zodiac many astrologers use and is the mirror image of the image on the Temple. The lines that connect the points represent the path of the Morning Star on its eight-year cycle, which is AIUEO. The point "A" which meet at angle IAO, is the point when the cycle changes and happens when a point of destruction happens near May Day. Most astrological cycles begin after the spring equinox.
The hand is often used to represent various things in a ritual. Traditionally, the thumb represents Venus. The index finger is the finger of Jupiter. The middle finger is the finger of Saturn, the father God. The ring finger is the finger of the Sun. The small finger is the finger of Mercury. If you draw the letters of each planet on the finger, with the "U" for Mercury and "A" for Venus, you get the A E I O U order. In the Temple "U" is the letter for Venus, but on the hand Venus is given an "A.". Mercury is given a "U," because point of view is the product of the material world. The hand is used as a guide, as you view the material world, so the symbolism on the fingers of Mercury and Venus can be switched in order to represent the problem of distinguishing reality from idea. "U" is also the letter of Nebo, the solar Mercury. Your two hands are mirror images of each other. Your left wrist represents the Moon. The Moon should point towards your body to represent our being held by your life cycles’ limitations. The palm of your hand represents Mars. A symbol drawn on the palm should be drawn as an impression of the symbol and would appear as a mirror image of the symbol.
If you draw the five-pointed stars on your palms, the left hand would have an impressed image of the Star of Man, and the right hand would have an impressed image of the Morning Star. You can place your left palm on the center of the Temple, and all the points should point in their right direction, if you point your "I" finger south. You can hold your right palm up, so that your fingers represent the points of destruction.
Writers I like
Aldo Leopold, A Sand County Almanac, 1948. http://www.aldoleopold.org/index.htm
Edward Abbey, Desert solitaire; a season in the wilderness. Published by McGraw-Hill, 1968. http://www.abbeyweb.net/
Richard Erdoes, Lame Deer, Seeker of Visions, 1972. Pocket; Revised edition 1994.
Daniel Quinn, Ishmael, 1992. http://www.ishmael.org/Origins/Ishmael