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Shit Happens |
Disclaimer! |
Of course, we do NOT intend to offend anyone. As usual. BUT if your religious feelings cannot stand jokes, we suggest you to click here or to click the back button of your browser. |
The
story |
If you are here, I suppose you can joke on your religion or on your philosophical beliefs. Nobody knows who first said that shit happens, even if some Forrest Gump claims he did. By the way, someone supposed that some religions in the world could assume that shit happens; how would they tell us? |
Copyright |
This collection started with an anonymous (or maybe his or her name was already lost when I first read it) in early 90's or even before. Then it has been copied, adapted, forwarded, expanded... until someone took one of these copies and made a T-shirt out of! I remember the copy I had (and lost), and that is the one I preferred for main definitions here. I found alternate definitions around the World Wide Web, most of them coming from the T-shirt; I put them here in smaller font. |
| Special thanks |
I must thank "Guy #1" (and his friends) for his e-mail, "No. 6" who inspired "Guy #1" with his original post, and G. H. Lovgren's Complete Page of Shit Happening, for reminding me most of the jokes in this page. And I thank my memory for those jokes I call "original", still found nowhere in the WWW. Another special thank (maybe the greatest one right now) goes to Teresa who at last found a copy of the original file of the 90's (posted by some Sebastian), reminding me the puns I still had to remember. |
| Advertising |
Finally, if you like fun aphorisms, let me suggest you to visit Murphy's Law special page in Achille & Monia personal bookstore. |
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and on November 24 1998 version. |
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Religions (the original file and some more) |
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Taoism | Shit happens |
| Guy #1 |
Paganism | Shit happens naturally |
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Confucianism | Confucious say, "Shit happens" |
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Hinduism | This shit happened before |
| Sebastian |
Mormonism | This shit is going to happen again |
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Hare Krishna | Shit happens Rama Rama |
| Sebastian |
Stoicism | This shit is good for me |
| Sebastian |
Hedonism | There is nothing like a good shit happening |
| Sebastian |
Existentialism | What is shit, anyway? |
| achy |
Jehovah's Witnesses | Shit will happen soon, get ready! |
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7th Day Adventists | No shit on Saturdays |
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Judaism | Why does this shit always happen to ME? |
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Unitarianism | What is this shit? |
No. 6 |
Universalism | Shit happens in many different ways for many different people, and we should respect all such happenings |
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Calvinism | Shit happens because you don't work hard enough |
| achy & Sebastian |
Christian Science | Shit happens in your mind |
| Sebastian |
Moonies | Only happy shit really happens |
| achy |
Catholicism | Shit happens because you are BAD |
| If shit happens, you deserve it | ||
| No. 6 |
Roman Catholic | Feces manifestant (shit happens) |
| achy |
Atheism | Sheeit! |
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Rastafarianism | Let's smoke this shit!!! |
| achy+No. 6 |
Do not roll shit downhills |
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More Religions |
| Sebastian |
Buddhism | If shit happens, you started it |
| When shit happens, is it really shit? |
| Guy #1 & No. 6 |
Fundamentalism | Ain't no shit happenin' 'round here, boy! |
| No. 6 |
Islam | Shit happens to the infidels |
| Sebastian |
If shit happens, it is the will of Allah |
| No. 6 |
Sufism | Have you seen this shit before? Then how do you know it *is* shit? |
| Guy #1 & No. 6 |
Shintoism | Shit happens because of your ancestors |
| Guy #2 |
Tel-Evangelists | Shit is happening now, send money! |
| Guy #3 |
New Age | I am the shit |
| achy |
Scientology | Shit happens because you make it happen |
| achy |
Pantheism | Shit happens everywhere |
| Guy #1 |
Wicca | If it harms none, do your own shit |
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Zen Buddhism | What is the sound of shit happening? |
| achy |
Epicureism | Enjoy this shit |
| achy |
Pentecostal | Shit happens in all languages |
| achy |
Christian Fanatism | Shit happens! Halleluyah! |
| Sebastian |
Zoroastrianism | Shit happens half of the time |
| chiaraO |
Agnosticism | I don't give any shit |
| Guy #1 |
I don't know shit about that | |
| Sebastian |
If I can see the shit, then I'll believe it |
| No. 6 |
Protestantism | Shit happens, and you don't need a priest, either |
| Sebastian |
Please let this shit happen to someone else |
| No. 6 |
Puritanism | Manure occurs (we can't say that other thing...) |
| achy |
Satanism | Let's make shit happen! |
| Teresa |
Centering Prayer | Shit happens. Just return to the sacred word |
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This shit (?) actually happened to me: |
achy |
Jehovah's Witnesses | Shit happens: just read this verse in the Bible. |
achy |
God's Assemblies | Shit happens, but not the way Jehovah's Witnesses say: just read the SAME verse in OUR Bible! |
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Do animals believe in something? |
| achy |
Cows | Bullshit happens |
| achy |
Dogs | Shit happens every other tree |
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Body expressions |
| achy & paoloP |
Farting | Sounds like shit happening, huh? |
| achy |
Constipation | Shit's not happening. Grr! |
| Advertising |
Do you like fun aphorisms? Visit the Murphy's law page in Achille & Monia Bookstore! |
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Send your contribution. You can send me a suggestion for a background image, too. |
E-mail me: achymony@geocities.com. I hope to answer you all.