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| Vital Stats: Age: 21 Hair: Blonde Eye: Blue Height: 5'6" Distinguising feature: Always wears glasses Siblings: Derrick 23, Marissa 19, Brandan 14. Pets: shih tzu Precious Religion: Roman Catholic Home: St. Louis MO School: UMSL |
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 Take the What Should Your New Year's Resolution Be? Quiz |
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| Well with the new year comes a new resolution. I thought it was funny that the quiz gave me this resolution, since it seems that fate is trying to set me up with guys but inevitably the tapestry just becomes a mess of colors. I have one major problem, and that is my obsessive nature. Perhaps I'm not the only one, and maybe I'm bitching for no reason about it, because ultimately none of this matters. For instance, take my love for a certain movie. I can go on and on about it, I can even go as far as to create a fansite with more than 1000 hits per month, but it really doesn't matter, because I just find more people that feed my obsessive nature. Well anyway I met this guy last year. And things were going great, we had this great connection without much verbal communication. I just know it had to be mutual. Now things didn't work out. I have given up on him. But because of all the romance I've created in my head, it's very hard to move on. So my resolution this year is to stop thinking about him. It's going to be hard, and not something that you can quit cold turkey. I've got to work on it. I still have other obsessions, and chances are, once I do move on, it will just be to another obsession. This very site you are reading was at one time my obsession. You can tell by the update list that the obsession is waning. Another resolution is to stop feeling sorry for myself. I need to go out. I need to find peers outside my peer group. I need to expand my horizons. I'm about to graduate college. May 2002, to be honest. I'm excited and a little scared. Also this semester I'm going to take on an internship. I had hoped it would be with a publishing company in the area of copyediting, but no. I was hired on at a newspaper, yes a newspaper. I'm pretty much scared to death about it. Yeah I can write, but do I really want to do journalism? No, not really. But once I get into something, it turns in to a rut, yet another spin on obsession. Like my job for example. I originally went on to help my friend's mother out of a jam, but now she's sold the store, but I'm still working there. What is that about? Ok... so I like getting a weekly paycheck, but c'mon, I don't really need to keep on there. But I do because I'm used to it. And I hang out with the same people because I'm used to it. Don't get me wrong, I like my friends, but I need to make more. If not friends, then enemies, because a relationship is a relationship. I doubt anyone will read this, so I feel I'm perfectly justified in writing this. I need to think this thing through. I need... I need somebody who can be romantic, I need somebody that can be commited. I'm not a desperate woman. I've done nothing but wait all my life, and I know I can wait even longer. So I don't want a desperate man. I don't want a man that only wants a physical relationship. I don't want to get high or smoke or do any sort of drugs. I want to stop imbibing alcohol. I want to believe in God again, and I want to believe that the Catholic Church, in which I was raised, is really a good religion. I want some sort of life afirming, mind altering revolution to occur inside myself. I want to find the thin me. I want joy. I want compassion. I want Passion. I want an award for just living. I want to like myself and I want to like people. It's hard. I'm only a man In a phony red sheet Lookin for kryptonite on this One way street I'm only a man In a silly red sheet And it's not easy OOOO It's not easy To be Me. |
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