a few words

my eyes are swelling shut as the rain begins to fall on the windowpane imp-like handprints in greasy children's grasps. i stare at the patterns on the glass the imps are active today windex has never visited here her vacations are at the jewel box i see the ferns growing in the grime flowers won't grow here flowers shouldn't grow here the rain falls 4 May 2001

PINK PLASTIC PAINTED ON BLACK BEAK BOTH LIMBS LONG IN YELLOW 4 May 2001

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Rage fills my bitter veins filled sour with the torment of my soul i'm nauseous with fear---why? 7 March 2001

(a few words have no color)

i wish i had been born a tree i'd be shade i'd be comfort i'd be home to a squirrel i'd provide shelter in the rain nothing could stop me i'd be important silent and important then someday i'd be paper i'd be functional i'd be a match i'd be loose-leaf i'd be in a binder i'd keep all your secret treasures i'd wrap a special present i'd be important i'd be kindling i'd keep up a fire i'd warm the whole house everyone snuggled around me enraptured by me i wouldn't just burn away, no i wouldn't just die that way i'd float up in the clouds i'd be light gray ash i'd reach for the atmosphere there's no telling how high and then i am so fragmented from the past that i just give up and float apart i am nothing now nor will i ever be for i wasn't born a tree 3 July 2001