Autobiography

It might appear that my only goal during all this time period was my manuscript. But not so. I taught whatever I learned to anyone who would listen to me. I tried to teach those who did listen to me that only by living the Golden Rule would peace be established on earth. (Sadly, very few people listened to me.)

I would also go among teenagers who were using drugs and try to convince them of the dangers of following such a course of action. In fact, this latter was one of my major focuses during my years living under the bridge. I only studied at the library or worked on my manuscript early in the morning, late in the evening or when I found myself alone.

My day usually started with morning mass at either St. Christopher’s Catholic Church or St. Catherine’s Catholic Church. This was followed with a few hours reading in the library or working on my manuscript. I “supported” myself by helping a friend of mine feed his farm animals in the early afternoon. My friend gave me food in return for my help.

But at the time that is all I needed, for I had a place to sleep that was protected from the weather and out of the rain and I had no other desires. In the late afternoon, I would join my teenage friends and talk to them about Jesus, peace, love, sex, alcohol and drugs or just life in general. In the evening, I would usually return to the library, find some place to read and work on my manuscript or just spend my time enjoying life.

Although the central point of my life since the spring of 1972 was, and still is, my writings, it was not my only goal. Nor did I let the work on my manuscript deter me from trying to help my teenage friends live a normal life free of sex abuse, alcohol abuse and drug abuse or as I prefer to call it: free of SAD abuse.

I taught them that it takes more than just saying no to SAD abuse. One has to practice safe sex, to drink in moderation and not to take drugs that involve using a needle. I tried to teach this philosophy to those teenagers that I came into contact with.

I also tried to teach them that peace on earth could only be established, not by SAD abuse, not by hating one’s neighbor and not through war, but by obeying the Golden Rule, which is loving one’s neighbor. This is what I “discovered” in the autumn of 1970 and confirmed from my personal experiences while living under the bridge and from studying the philosophies of the great philosopers of past.

In the autumn of 1976, I asked a dear friend of mine to drive me to St. Benedict, Louisiana, as I wanted to inquire about joining the monastery there. However, after talking with a few of the monks there, I decided that such a life was not for me.

I quit living under the bridge at this time, moved in with my mother, and applied for admission to the University of New Orleans for the spring semester of 1977. I listed my major as philosophy. I thought it would be beneficial toward my future to major in this field. Even though I was several years older than most of my classmates I soon felt at home among them. In fact, I even dated a few of the girls that I met on campus.

I took the required courses to get a degree in philosophy but, as I stated previously, most of the elective courses I took were centered on my trying to understand the subjects that I covered in my manuscript. This included courses that helped me to understand the origin of the universe, the earth, life, man and religion as well as the history of civilization since the Renaissance.

I also took some psychology courses because I thought that such would help me better understand the nature of dreams. But I quickly saw that I could not find the answers to my questions about dreams in this field. So I concentrated on developmental psychology and took several courses which UNO offered in that area.

I had better luck with the Latin courses I took. I eventually bought a Latin Vulgate Bible from a Catholic book store. Using it, and the knowledge I gained from the Latin courses I took, I was better able to interpret various passages in the Douay Rheims Bible.

I want to point out here that the Douay Rheims Bible and the Confraternity Douay Bible are about the only bibles that I trust to give me an accurate interpretation from the Latin Vulgate of St. Jerome. I trust them, not because they are “Catholic” bibles, but because I have not found any incorrect translations with them.

For example, some bibles translate the men who visited the infant Jesus as astrologers, Mt.2:1-12. But the Latin Vulgate does not use the word astrologus. It uses the word Magi. Astrologus means astrologer (a scientific and theological heresy) and Magi means learned or wise men. I have found numerous other passages in other bibles that are incorrectly translated. Those bibles that translate these passages incorrectly are not inspired by the Holy Spirit.

About the middle of 1978, I moved out of my mother’s house and into my own apartment. This was somewhat of a mistake because I soon discovered that with rent, car note, grocery and utility bills I was unable to pay all my bills. Even moving into a cheaper apartment was of no use. By the middle of spring semester 1979, I had to drop out of the University of New Orleans and get a full time job. (I originally had a part time job and was getting money through the G.I. bill.)

I say somewhat of a mistake because I met my future wife in the new apartment building. Mary Ann Messina was living in the apartment directly above me! Before meeting her, my intentions were to return to college part time for the fall semester of 1979. But we decided to get married, so I put off returning to college until the spring of 1980. We planned our wedding for November 24, 1979.

But just 18 days before the wedding my maternal grandmother died. My uncle from Atlanta (the one who taught me how to play chess) came in to New Orleans with his family for the funeral. Afterward we had a big family reunion with all the Fagans and all the Jacobs there together. Then we had another reunion at the wedding reception. I took the semester off for a honeymoon in Gatlinburg, TN with my new bride.

A little over a year later, on June 18, 1981, we had our first child, a girl, who we named Jennifer Ann. I took another semester off to help my wife with our new baby. When I re-entered UNO I did so as a part-time student with a full time job, as I had to support my family. I got a job with a survival capsule company but I got laid off in 1984.

I took a temporary job with the 1984 Louisiana World’s Fair. Then in 1985 I got a job with a medical supply company. I continued to work there and attend UNO part-time until I graduated in May 1991. Meanwhile, my family had grown with the birth of our second daughter on December 30, 1983, whom we named Julie Marie. Then my mother died on January 4, 1989.

My mother’s death came as a great shock to me. I had gone to pick up my two daughters from elementary school. I had plans to bring them to my mother’s house for a visit but Jennifer forgot her sweater in her classroom and we had to go find it. By the time we found it, it was too late to go to my mother’s house so I decided to just go to my mother-in-law’s home, where we were living at the time.

As I pulled in the driveway both my mother-in-law and my wife were outside to greet us. I could tell that something was wrong. My oldest brother’s wife had called and told them that my mother had apparently died the day before of a heart attack. My mother was alone at the time.

The news of my mother’s death caught me totally off guard. Since March 11, 1971, my dreams have sometimes told me of personal things of this nature, although I seldom understood the dream until after the event came to pass. But this time I received no warning whatsoever and this puzzled me somewhat.

Anyway, my brothers and sister had gotten the idea that my mother had tens of thousands of dollars in stocks and in the bank. However, she only had a couple of thousand dollars in stocks and only a few hundred dollars in the bank. When I told them this, none of them believed me. I believe that they thought that I was hiding some of my mother’s money from them for myself.

In order to prove to them that I was not hiding any of her money, I believed that my only option was to go to my mother’s lawyer and open her will. My wife agreed with me on this.

I was named as the executor of my mother’s will but they did not want me to execute this option. Instead, they just wanted to divide up my mother’s estate among ourselves, with my older brother acting as executor. But I did not trust him, as all of us wanted to sell our mother’s house and divide up the proceeds among ourselves, while he wanted to rent the house out and divide up the rent among ourselves, again with him acting as executor.

I again discussed everything that had happened and all the available options with my wife and neither of us trusted my older brother. He seemed too eager to take control of everything. This, coupled with the fact that they all believed that I was hiding some of my mother’s money for myself, forced me to go to my mother’s lawyer and open her will.

This got my older brother very angry and I do not know what he told my twin brother, my younger brother and my sister about what he believed I was going to do but they also got angry with me. I told the lawyer that I was not going to take an executor’s fee and asked him to divide my mother’s estate equally among her five children, which is what we all wanted.

In the will, my mother had given me most of her possessions. In fact, according to the will I got everything except the house, which she wanted divided up equally among all five children. I was to get her car, her furniture, her savings and her stocks. (I was the sole beneficiary.) But I told the lawyer to divide up everything equally.

One might ask: Why did I not just let my older brother divide up everything equally since this is what everyone wanted in the first place. Like I said, I did not trust my older brother and I wanted to prove to everyone that I was not hiding any of my mother’s money from them. I perceived at the time that the only way I could prove to everyone that I was not hiding any of my mother’s money for myself was through my mother’s attorney.

After the legal proceedings of my mother’s will were completed we put the house up for sale. My brothers and sister demanded that my older brother to be in charge of selling the house and keeping it rented until it was sold; they did not trust me and they were still angry with me for going to the lawyer.

My older brother got a real estate agent friend of his to list the house (without my permission) but she never did anything toward selling the house. After three months my older brother took it off the market but continued to rent it out. For several months he made absolutely no effort to sell the house but continued to collect rent money from tenants. I do not know what he told my brothers and sister about why the house was not on the market.

After several more months he gave all of us a thousand dollars each from the proceeds of the rent money he received. At that time I asked him for a set of keys to the house so that I might inspect it as I had received word through a friend that the inside of the house was all broken up and in much need of repair. But he refused to give me a set of keys to the house and he told the tenant he had living there not to let me into the house. (Years later this man shot his girl friend in the head, killing her and then killed himself.)

There was nothing I could do as my sister and other brothers were all aligned against me. Again, I do not know what my older brother was telling them but whatever it was they would not listen to anything I had to say. Further, at the time I was not fully cognizant of all my rights regarding my brother’s negligence in handling the rent proceeds and other actions regarding selling the house.

(This is why I am adamant that students should be taught the basics of law. If students were taught more about their rights then they would not become victims of con artists and other thieves.)

In the meantime, my younger brother wanted out of the arrangement my older brother had set up. He was in dire need for money and asked for another 1,000 dollars for his one/fifth share of a 60,000 to 80,000 dollar house. (This figure is a minimal approximation; I do not know what the actual value of the house was at that time.)

My younger brother’s request for 1,000 dollars was against my warning him of what he was doing. I did not want him to sell himself short but he was adamant. He wanted some money and he was not willing to wait until the house was sold to get it. My older brother gave him 1,000 dollars for his share out of the rent proceeds. After selling his share of the house to all of us, he then left the New Orleans area. I have only rarely seen him since then.

Several months after this my older brother told us all that he intended to give us some more money from the rent proceeds. I told him that I intended to use any money he gave me for legal fees in order to fight him in court for joint control of the rent receipts.

He was making no effort to sell the house. This is something that all of us wanted done except him. He was the only one who wanted to continue to rent the house out and divide up the rent receipts among us.

It was also my belief that he was hiding money from all of us, as he was not keeping any records of rent receipts or receipts of plumbing repairs or records of any kind. He was just putting the money he collected from rent into his own personal bank account. Yet he expected me to just take him at his word and trust him when he said that he was not cheating all of us. This was after I caught him lying to my sister and brothers.

Anyway, after I told my older brother that I intended to take him to court to get joint control of our property in order to protect my interests he offered to buy me out. A couple of days later he also offered to buy out my twin brother and my sister, so that he could have full control of the house and rent proceeds.

He offered us each 10,000 dollars. I knew that my twin brother, my sister, and I could get more, for we were now only dividing up the proceeds four ways instead of five. But they believed my older brother when he told them that he was giving them the best deal he could.

By now my wife and I were weary with the whole thing and we decided that the easiest way out was just to accept his offer and be done with it. So I sold my 1/4 share of the house to him for 10,000 dollars. I did this because I knew lawyer fees and court costs to take him to court and get joint custody of the property (in order to protect my interests) would be more than the money I figured was losing in the sale.

I later found out that he sold the house and made a nice profit. The whole affair left bitter feelings between my brothers and sister and I for quite some time. But in the year 2001, I called each of them on the phone and sort of mended fences so to speak. At least we do not hate each other.

Before all this, my wife and I bought our own house in 1984. It had three bedrooms, one bath, a large living room, large kitchen, and an even larger den. I never really liked the house but Mary loved it and it had a nice back yard where our two daughters could play. So I resigned myself to accepting my life the way it was going so far. But no sooner had we bought the house when I got laid off from my job working as a warehouseman for a company that maintained survival capsules for the oilrigs in the Gulf of Mexico.

It was my job to help the rig captain maintain the survival capsules, keeping them supplied with the proper equipment. Whenever a capsule’s food rations expired or the capsule needed some other kind of supply, the rig captain would notify our company and I would have to ship the required supplies to the oilrig where the capsule was drilling for oil. I shipped mostly to the oilrigs in the Gulf of Mexico but I have shipped to oilrigs all over the world – Alaska, the North Sea and Australia.

Anyway, I was out of work for about six months. My wife, my children and I lived for as long as we could off what money we got from a newspaper delivery route we were able to obtain, whatever work I could pick up and our savings. It was not enough. After four years, we lost our house to creditors after our savings became completely depleted.

We had to move in with my mother-in-law until we could find an apartment. Soon after this I got a job with a medical supply company and worked there until I became a teacher in the 1990s. But the pay I received from the medical supply company was not very much and the company laid me off and then rehired me several times. My family was still heavily dependent on the money we got from our newspaper delivery route. That was in the middle 1980s and today, over thirty years later, we have still not totally recovered financially.

I mentioned earlier that I dropped out of UNO to get married and then for the birth of my first child. The only other time I left college was to study computer science at a community business college in 1990. I have no faith in these types of “colleges.” (Indeed, I have never even considered them to be real colleges.) But I took this course of action, for I knew then that I would need computer training in my future.

I did not like the computer program offered by UNO at that time and I figured that the fastest and easiest way I could get some knowledge of computers was through a business college. I got exactly what I wanted: a little knowledge about computers and nothing more. However, it was enough to get me started.

Most of the rest of my knowledge about computers I taught myself; I am very proficient with computers. For example, I taught myself several programming languages, including a database language for which I wrote a program to help me manage the customers of the morning newspaper delivery route that my wife and I have.

With the knowledge I then had in computers, I returned to UNO. I have since taken several computer courses at UNO and Delgado to further my knowledge of computers. I did this latter because there is a much better computer science department at UNO now than there was there originally, at least that is my opinion.

While I am on the subject of computers, I also want to say that I am in debt to my brother-in-law Ellis Carter (my wife’s sister’s husband) for much of my knowledge about computers. In the early 1990s, he gave my family our first computer. He just showed up one day at our door with a brand new personal computer. I used this computer to help me learn more about computers.

A couple of years later my wife and I bought another computer and we gave the one Ellis gave to us to a family friend. Ellis has helped my family out many times. He has been and continues to be a gift to my family. Every time there has been a crisis in my family, he has been there to help us out, emotionally, financially, and morally. He is a true friend. I thank God for everything that he has done for my family.

When I returned to college in the spring of 1991, I discovered that UNO had changed graduation requirements. I thought that I only needed to take one more elective in order to graduate. But I discovered that I also needed to take a course in drama.

I took an introductory course being taught by a former movie director; at least he said he had directed movies. I very much enjoyed the course. We had two projects to do. For the first project we had to produce our own movie. The instructor said that it was not to be more than a couple of minutes long. I filmed my two daughters making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

For the second project the instructor gave everyone some un-edited tape of a “bank robbery” that he filmed a few years earlier. We were to make a movie out of it. I got an A in both projects. But I made a C in the course because I did not do well on the final exam. However, I enjoyed working on the projects and it gave me some small insight into what goes into making a movie.

After getting a Bachelor of Arts degree in philosophy from UNO in May 1991, I entered the college of Education at UNO and began to work on a degree in Master of Education in special education, which I received in December 1994.

While working on my degree in special education I was a substitute teacher with Jefferson Parish, from August 1991 until December 1993. Most of my assignments during my years as a substitute teacher were at Riverdale Middle School; particularly as an instructor of a self-contained class of behavior disordered students (The regular teacher was out frequently with an ill relative) and as an instructor of a resource class of learning disabled students. (The regular teacher had been hurt in an accident.)

In 1993, I took over a severe-profound, multi-handicapped class for the last several months of the ‘92 – ‘93 school years. The regular teacher of this Grace King High special education class had been in an accident and I was asked to fill in for her.

It was while I was substituting that I found exactly what and where I wanted to teach. I wanted to help those students who need the most help; I wanted to teach special education.

In January 1994, I got a job teaching students with learning disabilities at Haynes Middle School in Metairie. But the following school year the Jefferson Parish School Board switched me to S.J. Barbre Middle School in Kenner.

In August 1996, the school board closed Barbre and the entire school was moved to Ralph J. Bunche Middle School, which had just been renovated. Bunche Middle School is composed of predominately African American students. During all this time, I was attending UNO, working on my degree in education and my teaching certificate, which I received in July 1997.

Early 1997, my wife saw an add in the newspaper for a summer camp instructor at Christian Brothers Elementary. My family needed the income that would be generated from this job, as I did not have any work during the summer months other than part time jobs that I could pick up.

(For example, one summer I worked in the warehouse of a food distributor, another summer I worked in the mailroom of an insurance company and another summer I worked in the blood bank of a local hospital.)

Anyway, I sent the school a resume’ but I did not expect to get a reply. This was in February if I remember correctly. The following April I began to look in the newspaper for a summer job, having forgotten all about the resume’ that I mailed to Christian Brothers.

I could not find any job in the newspaper and I was growing apprehensive, as school was about to let out for the year and I did not have a job for the summer. That would mean no income for two months and I did not think that we would be able to make it financially if I could not find work. Then the principal of Christian Brothers called me up and asked me to come in for an interview.

I was overjoyed; I knew that my God was looking out for me and that I was going to get the job. However, I did not tell anyone this or let my emotions show. I went to the interview and talked to the principal and he said that he would get back with me. The next day he called me and asked me if I could start teaching at the summer camp on June 9, if I remember the date correctly.

Working with the children at Christian Brothers Summer Camp is a joy in my life. It is a God send in more ways than just a source of income. I look forward to returning there each summer. The camp counselors are wonderful people, the children are great and the atmosphere is out of this world!

During the 2001/2002 school year an African American student accused me of derogatory racial statements against him. He went to the principal’s office after I gave him detention for misbehavior in the classroom. He told the principal, also an African American, that I used racial slurs against him. His goal was to get even with me and to get me into trouble with the principle for disciplining him.

After hearing about this, my assistant, also an African American, went to the principle and told her that at the time I supposedly used racial slurs, she was in the classroom and that I was not guilty of that which I was accused.

The principle then called me into her office and talked to me about the situation that caused this to come about. She told me to be more careful in how I disciplined my students in the future.

I left her office in total confusion. Here was a student whose only goal was to get me in trouble and in order to succeed in his goal, he lied to my boss. Then instead of disciplining him for his maliciousness, she tells me to be more careful in how I discipline my students.

This incident caused me to leave Bunche Middle School for the next school year. For the 2002/2003 school year I went back to Haynes Middle School. This school used to be called Metairie Jr. High. I was a student there when Mr. Haynes was the principle. What is even more coincidental is that the classroom that I was assigned to as a teacher is one of the same classrooms I had when I was a student there.

I have many fond memories of my days at Metairie Jr. High and those memories became even more profound when I re-entered my old classroom. I was overjoyed with emotion. But my joy did not last very long.

For the 2005/2006 school year I was back at Riverdale Middle School. A member of the Jefferson Parish School Board used her political influence and had Haynes Middle School turned into a magnet school. All the students, teacher assistants and teachers were reassigned to different local schools; I ended up in Riverdale.

After I received my Master of Education in special education I applied to UNO for admittance to the College of Education, department of special education, to work on a doctorate in special education. I chose as my major professor an African American professor who I had met while working on my degree in Master of Education.

I liked Dr. Burrell’s teaching style and we developed a close friendship. In fact, one course she taught that I found very rewarding as well as educational was on child abuse and it later helped me chose a topic for my doctorate.

Anyway, she was very understanding and did not push me to finish my doctoral work, as I believe some of the other professors might have done. But after several semesters I came to understand that such a course of action was not for me. I resigned from the course work, but not before assuring my African American friend that I was not dropping out permanently, only temporally.

At the time I had every intention of continuing my studies in the correlation between drug abuse and child abuse and of continuing to work toward a doctorate. Although I have taken several courses that have helped me to better understand that correlation since leaving the doctoral program, sadly I have never gotten back to finishing my doctorate.

Substance abuse, including alcohol abuse, often leads to child abuse, which often leads to substance abuse. Handicapped children are often both the children of and the victims of this abuse, which leads back to substance abuse. Frequently mixed within this quagmire is poverty. It’s a vicious circle and one that is very hard to break.

In order to better understand the relationships that exist in this quandary of substance abuse, child abuse, handicapped children and poverty is one reason why I chose to go into special education for my master’s degree. It is also why I chose to continue in this field for my doctorate.

Although I am no longer pursuing a doctoral degree, I am not worried about not getting the degree. I am getting the knowledge that I want and that is the important thing as far as I am concerned. I don’t need a piece of paper that I can hang on my wall telling me that I have the knowledge.

Before entering UNO in January 1977, I had been studying on my own without anyone to guide me and I was doing fine. I believe that I can continue to do so as long as I can remain focused on my end goal, which is to understand the relationship between substance abuse and child abuse.

But the main reason that I have never gotten back to my doctorate is because I keep getting side tracked by taking other courses. For example, a few semesters ago instead of taking a course that would better help me understand the correlation, I tried to enter law school at Loyola University in New Orleans. But my Law School Admission Test (LSAT) scores were not high enough.

According to the Law School Admission Council (I think they are the producers of the LSAT but I could be wrong) if you do not score well on the LSAT then you will not do good at law school. That is crazy!

I have already taken several courses in law and government at UNO. I made an A or B in everyone of these courses. My Grade Point Average (GPA) is 3.7 and I have rarely gotten any grade below a B in all the courses I have taken at UNO. Further, I have never failed any college course, not even when I was a student at LSU during the 1966 – 1967 school year.

Yet, according to the Law School Admission Council, I will not make good grades at law school. All the work I have done in college is of no value according to them or to the law school! They put total emphasis on LSAT scores and everything else one has done is college has no value.

I am appalled that law schools do not put more emphasis on a student’s GPA and grades and less on LSAT scores. This is especially in the light that the LSAT does not even test on how much knowledge of law one has. The LSAT is nothing more than an extremely hard brain teaser.

I have never had much faith in any assessment test (LSAT, SAT, ACT, NTE, GRE, IOWA, LEAP, GEE, to name just a few of them) and this only reinforces my belief that they are all just a bunch of garbage that exists solely to make money for the producers of them.

Although the producers of these assessment tests have all kinds of statistics proving the validity and reliability of their tests, I answer that with the fact that a person can produce statistics that will prove anything he or she wants to prove. Besides, students from affluent families have a greater advantage in taking these types of tests than students from less affluent families. Also, none of these tests can test a student on the “school bag” he or she carries with him through life as no two students have the same history.

Anyway, I took several paralegal courses at UNO. I made an A or B in all of the courses I took. I used the knowledge that I gained from these courses to increase my knowledge of the law. In other words, if I cannot learn about the law through law school then I will learn about the law by coming in through the back door.

I had a dream in which I was standing in front of a great cement wall with a big iron door in it. The door was locked and I could not get in because I did not have the correct combination, so I broke down the wall and entered in that way.

The wall is law school and the door is the LSAT exam. I did poor in the LSAT exam thus I did not have the correct combination to the door. My breaking down the wall is my learning about the law without going to law school.

I have since come to understand that it is the will of God that I learn about the law through the paralegal courses that I have taken at UNO. For those who claim that such cannot be done, I answer that with the fact that there are many lawyers who can legally practice the law but clearly do not know anything about the law. Also, there are many paralegals who cannot legally practice the law, yet they know more about the law than the attorneys they work for.

This only reinforces my belief that a government should not be allowed to prevent someone from entering a field if he or she can correctly demonstrate that he or she can function properly in that field. To force someone to pass some kind of standardized test or to force them to get a license is unfair to those who are less affluent. The government would better serve the people if it would make sure that those individuals in a particular field could function properly than to make sure that they had passed some kind of standardized test.

Autobobiography

The College Years