::once and again::

11/18/00 Saturday
Woohoo!! My b-day was yesterday! It was like the best b-day i've ever had..like ever. And so im really happy!! It started at around 5:30, cause thats when my godsister julie came over. no wait, before that, jen came over. anyhoo, then julie cut my hair. She did a really good job of it! I had on these cool faery wings on most of the night, i looked pretty. ^_^ *blushes* Everyone had a good time, and i really did too. the last guest left at like 3am, and 2ppl slept over. We were watching Nirvana unplugged like at 1am, it was cool! The food was yummy! [thanks to my mommy] Bah. Now i feel bad cause i forgot to invite one of my cousins, and my next door neighbor. *sigh* My mom is making me feel even more worse about it..god. ....What a neat-o party. :) Hee hee. Havent had a b-day party in a looooong time. I love all of my buddies!! They rawk!! I love em to bits!! ^_^ All are so cute! *grin* I wanna have another party now..hee hee. Brrr, its REALLY cold outside, and inside the house too. my mom refuses to turn the heater on! crazy i say.

11/19/00 Sunday
Drugs mess up peoples lives. Yeah yeah, i know that most of you will laugh and say i sound like some dorky commercial. But they do. Many people i know do drugs, and i dont really do anything about it. Because in a weird way, most of them have it under control. They dont OD or get hooked on real dangerous stuff like smack. GAWD. People people people. We all need to try and be more honest. Cause in the long run, it can prevent a lot of problems. Its. 12:20am. And im still awake. My dad told me at 10pm to not stay up late. Whoops, sorry dad. Hee hee. its now 12:44am. I've just been sitting here a lot lately..my tongue got burned today. I went out to eat chinese food with my friend. then we went to the book store, and wal-mart. its 1:05am. i really should get some sleep...i've not rested well lately........

11/20/00 Monday
Here goes a tip on saving money. Buy one regular sized fries for 2 people who aren't too hungry. Hee hee. ^_^ I hung out today and had a really nice time. I havent hung out in awhile, i forgot how cool it can be. I think i should make out a list of cool places and things to do here in houston...that are somewhat nearby as well. :) That'd really come in handy next time i go out. *grin* I saw The Grinch today, it was okay, not as funny as i hoped it would be. there was some singing going on in it, the cartoon version of it is prettier i think. Not as dragged out, although it was interesting how they added in their own rhyming and stuff to it. I make funny faces..I like doing that. Scrunching up my face is funny! ^_^ wuv you all!! mwa mwa mwa! "i dont want to walk around in circles walk around in circles walk around again.."-by Soul Coughing

11/22/00 Wednesday
Turkey is Yummy. That's all i have to say. =) hee hee. I went over to my friend Jen's house! There were lots of my other friends there too, it was really cool. We sat around, ate, watched tv, talked. Loads of fun, but i was getting to sleepy though. I think it was the turkey and the heat of the house. ^_^ In the end we all had to go bye bye..we drove home with a madman!! hee hee, j/k. =) I was thinking early this morning about how glad i am that i never commited suicide. Yeah...a long time ago i was very much depressed, and got the stupid thought in my head that nobody loved me. i didnt have hardly any friends at the time, and the ones i did have, i thought were pretty fake. So one day i went into the kitchen and got a big knife. I took the knife to my wrist and was going to kill myself. But i didnt, i started to cry too hard. Thinking about how much i felt so unloved, how my life sucked, how much i hated pain and wished that killing myself wouldnt hurt. I fell to the ground and just sobbed till it hurt everywhere and all i could hear was a ringing in my ears. I didnt know exactly how to cut myself so i'd die instantly, or even if it would kill me instantly, and i guess i just got scared. So of course as you well may know, i didnt kill myself. Woohoo!! =) hee hee. For a lot of reasons.... i dont want to share them just yet.
I just noticed something. Today we ate some cupcakes, and there were these Turkey rings on them, very cute! But...Im looking at the turkey more closely, and it looks like it has a tear coming down one of its eyes....how sad. ='(
Okay! Happy news!!! My friend paul is going to be an uncle soon!! yay! And also, TOMORROW IS THANKSGIVING!! RoCk! =D

11/23/00 Thursday
What am i thankful for on this thanksgiving day? Very easy to answer. My friends. Without having met most of you all this year, my life would be much more boring and plain. My mom is in superbitch mode today..she's yelling at everyone [even my dad] for every little thing. *sigh* How happy this thankful day has been..not only that. But i woke up and my stomach is hurting a lot. I think i've got stomach cramps or something. I want to just lay down and rest for awhile..and not think about anything...I wish i could just live in another house for awhile...Later on i'll write more about this day. yep. Hopefully it gets better....Please God. It just HAS to get better...

11/24/00 Friday
The voices in my head have finally stopped! =) If you hung out with me today you'd understand. It turns out that the voices were just the people around me...i was hearing things that they had said during the day. I had a pretty good time today. It was freakin cold though! Goodlord, toooo much wind...Aside from that it was a very interesting day. I knew it was going to be, and boy was i right! The irony was heavy in the air..Mmmm. Great! =) I love my friends very much. Each for their own wacky way they live. *sigh* I love em! ^_^
::much time has passed::
Alright. I hung out with some of my friends today, great fun it was. Very cold though..very. As i've already mentioned above. Now i feel like crap. Yep. Maybe its b/c i see people doing things that they want to do, and not getting in trouble for it. Could i be jealous? Maybe. But i dont think i need to do drugs, or have lots of sex. Sure, i can still go ahead and do it all just b/c it'll feel good and make me happy. Why dont i choose to do it? Probably b/c of the way i was brought up, and also b/c i have too high of standards for myself. Im not saying that everyone else who does that sort of thing is below me, hell no. Im not above anyone. I've often said i wish that maybe i should have commited suicide when i had the chance..i say that out of stupidity and anger. im very greatful for being alive, even if there are lots of bumps on the road. i have a lot to learn, and lots of people to meet. =) Yep yep. I've already met a huge group of interesting people. Hee hee. "we're all stars now..in the dope show..."

11/25/00 Saturday
I have yet to do any of my art project...hee hee. Our art teacher went to Las Vegas, she spent her Thanksgiving with Wayne Newton or something. ^_^ I kept thinking in my head during dinner "its not unusual to be loved by anyone.." & "Whats up pussycat?! Wooooah" *laughs* Strange indeed. I hope she had a great time. My thanksgiving vacation has been good and bad. There are its real good ups, and its stupid downs. As much of life is. *shrugs* Today is one of those days where you really want to go outside b/c its nice out and stuff...yet you can't really seem to get there. Ya know what i mean? =\ Ah well, im just working on my page...gives me something to do. *grin* I like the pics from my party, and the ones that paul took in dublin. Hopefully i'll be able to go to Ireland during Spring Break... then again, my plans are always changed around. =P If i could have 3 wishes right now they would be...
1. to be able to go to ireland
2. to have another weeks vacation off from school
3. to have enough money to pay off all our families debts and bills...therefore enabling us to afford another car which would be for me.
Hee hee. Cool huh? Of course i might change my wishes later on..but for now i really really wish that these 3 could be granted. *sigh* Who cares if they are selfish? I cant go curing world hunger in an instant. To be perfectly honest, sometimes i think we need bad things in our world, otherwise, how would we know whats good and evil? *shrugs* Ahh, im just making up some shit to make up for my wishes being selfish. Hee Hee. ^_^

11/26/00 Sunday
Ugh! I have mixed feelings about going back to school...*sigh* This whole thanksgiving break week..its been a trip lemme tell you! Hee Hee. last night my cousins tried getting me to go out with them to this club called Numbers. there was going to be some sort of rave i suppose...i was so sleepy! I didnt get to go though, my mommy wouldnt let me. =P I guess next time i can go. yeah, that'd be interesting...*grin* "and everythings pouring down, we better dig it up somehow. yeah yeah." -radiohead. I feel a change a coming.. in my life. Yeah. A bigger change. Hopefully it'll all be for the good. Yep. Some people..goodness..This one person in my life. I love them for all they've done for me. It usually brings me to tears when i think back on how crappy i've been to them sometimes. Never on purpose though. They know who they are...Yep. I LOVE YOU!! mwa! ^_^ Hee Hee. Er..what else to write about. Lots of neat-o things on tv now, its crazy! I saw Being john Malkavich today, straaange movie...I recommend seeing it. Another movie i saw was Cider House Rules, that was really good too. Eryka Badu and Heavy D were in it! *grin* That is all. P.S. If you love Kevin Smith, i hope you know that he is going to come out w/another Movie!! It's going to be like the 5th and final one of his series..you know what i mean =P
Noochy Nooch!
::6:35pm.:: we just got our new president. George W. Bush. May god have mercy on our Souls...

11/27/00 Monday
Phooey. Started school again today. =P It was sooo hard waking up this morning, i did not want to go. i asked my mommy "can i stay home today?" she gave me that look..so i said "nevermind." Hee Hee. At least i tried huh? My friend Mars gave me this really pretty faery statue thingy, its sooooo pretty!! I love it! *grin* "rock n roll mcdonads!! rock n roll mcdonalds!!" You guys should really check out Wesley Willis! He is so cool! Hee Hee. I love his musica! So creative! Ugh. =P My daddy wants to use the computer in a bit. I need to spoil myself more, i should take more bubble baths or something. I think i kind of am spoiling myself now, because i have to take much good care of my hair *laughs* ARG! I think there is some sort of stupid mosquito or bug flying about the room, i've tried killing it when it gets to the computer screen..but damn thing wont die!! its like the terminator of bugs! >=O damn bug!! blah. Tomorrow is another day, and its a stupid goverment day test too. ewwie. of course i never study, i'll probably do the study guide for it, that'll give me 5 extra points on it. which i realllly need. yep yep. Im stupid. *laughs* Just kidding. Me tireds. Me go bye bye now.
::time has passed by, many hours::
Went to da mall, saw my friend Ryan who works there at Ashley Averys. Very nice store, i was scared of breaking something, hee hee. I think i might buy my mommy this really pretty rose thing there. Hopefully she'll like it. If you translate her name from spanish to english it means Beautiful Rose [her name is Rosalinda by the way]. Im having tooo much fun updating my first page on my site. If you havent noticed every few hrs or so i'll write what im doing, and what time it is. Hee Hee. Cool Huh?! =D ...Okay, probably not cool to you, but who cares? =P *laughs* Oh, another thing, caffeine is a drug. I have lost many a friend to it..Please, if you have a caffeine addiction get help now before its too late!! Just Call the toll free # at:
1-800-IDONT-GVEASHT ^_^ LOL!! Im so evil sometimes, sorry, my humour cracks me up though...heehee

11/28/00 Tuesday
Just remembered that i had to finish this art project in 2 days..im not even 1/4 done with it!! Hee Hee. Also in my other art class, i have to have at least 2 & a half projects done by thursday as well. I have like..none done yet. *laughs* Procrastinator i say! By the way, i really do hope that all of you have a good day. Because mine has been pretty great so far, aside from the fact that i have all this stuff due, and im tired as hell...*Hug* The Rest of Today's Rambling will be continued on the next Rambling Page!!!