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1. How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one since his/her hands is in the air anyway.
2. How many Calvinists does it take to change a light bulb?
None. God has predestined when the lights will be on. Or... Calvinists do
not change light bulbs. They simply read out the instructions and pray the
light bulb will decide to change itself.
3. How many Baptists does it take to change a light bulb?
CHANGE???????
4. How many neo-evangelicals does it take to change a light bulb?
No one knows. They can't tell the difference between light and darkness.
5. How many Pentecostals does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten. One to change the bulb and nine to pray against the spirit of
darkness.
6. How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?
One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
7. How many fundamentalists or independent Baptists does it take to change
a light bulb?
Only one because any more would be compromise and ecumenical standards of
light would slip.
8. How many liberals does it take to change a light Bulb?
At least ten, as they need to hold a debate on whether or not the light
bulb exists. Even if they can agree upon the existence of the light bulb
they still may not change it to keep from alienating those who might use
other forms of light.
9. How many Anglicans or Catholics does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They always use candles.
10. How many campfire worship leaders does it take to change light bulb?
One. But soon all those around can warm up to its glowing.
11. How many Episcopalians does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten. One to actually change the bulb, and nine to say how much they liked
the old one.
12. How many Unitarians does it take to change a light bulb?
We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need
for a light bulb, however, if in your own journey you have found that a
light bulb works for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or
compose a modern dance about your personal relationship to your light bulb
and present it next month at our annual light bulb Sunday service, in which
we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent,
fluorescent, three-way, long-life, and tinted; all of which are equally
valid paths to luminescence through Jesus Christ.
13. How many Quakers does it take to change a light bulb?
None - we already have the Inner Light, which illuminates the soul, spirit,
mind, and body. So who needs electrical imitations?