A collection of various pagan lightbulb jokes:


How many Pagans does it take to change a light bulb?
Six. One to change it, and five to sit around complaining that lightbulbs never burned out before those Christians came along.

How many Garderians does it take to change a light bulb?
1.) Sorry, that's a Third Degree secret. 2.) (in a low ominous tone) "Why do you want to know...initiate?"

How many Alexandrians does it take to change a light bulb?
1) Dunno - we haven't looked it up in the Gardnerian Book Of Shadows yet.
2) 13. One High Priestess to change the bulb, and 12 to hold her up under all that jewelry.

How many Brit Trad Wiccans does it take to change a light bulb?
13. One to change the bulb, and 12 to mourn the passing of the old bulb.

How many Family traditionalists does it take to change a light bulb?
1.) Candlelight was good enough for our ancestors, it's good enough for us!
2.) Go ask your own grandmother!

How many Dianic Lesbian Witches does it take to...
THAT'S NOT FUNNY!

How many Thelemites does it take to change a light bulb?
1) 93.
2) None - real Thelemites aren't afraid of the dark.

How many Druids does it take to change a light bulb?
501. One to change the bulb and 500 to align the new stone.

How many ADF druids does it take to change a light bulb?
Six. One to change the bulb, one to write a song about how much better the old bulb was, and four to write conflicting parodies of the second Druid's song.

How many Starhawk witches does it take to change a light bulb?
(plaintively) "There are starving villages in Africa that don't even HAVE light bulbs..."

How many Frost "School of Wicca" witches does it take to change a light bulb?
"Just you! That's right, YOU! And for only $195 we'll send you our complete "Witches Magic Power of Light Bulb Changing Course" with real knowledge that you can apply this to ANY light bulb ANYwhere! Listen to the testimony of a young couple from Wisconsin who..."

How many Erisians does it take to change a light bulb?
"How many have we got?"

How many Discordians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Five Tons.

How many Buckland witches does it take to change a light bulb?
"Refer to my second book, Practical Light Bulb Changing by Raymond Buckland..."

How many tantrics does it take to change a light bulb?
Two, as long as the lamp is by the bed...

How many Ceremonial magicians does it take to change a light bulb?
One. They hold it up, and the world revolves around them.

How many Witches does it take to change a light bulb?
Into what?

How many solitary Witches does it take to change a light bulb?
(if they actually ask 'how many?', drum your fingers and stare at them as you wait for them to grasp the obvious)



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