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The Goddess is alive and she ate my homework.
Please hold. All muses are busy right now, but your inspiration is important to us...
How many Garnerians does it take to change a lightbulb? Can't say. It's oathbound
How many Alexandrians does it take to change a lightbulb? Same number as Gardnerians.
What's the difference between New Age and Pagan? About $500.00 a weekend.
The definition of "SAINT": "A dead liberal who is worshipped by living conservatives."
How many Dianacs does it take to change a light bulb? --Only one, but that bulb has really got to want to change.
Please don't squeeze the shaman!
***ERROR #666 HARD DRIVE POSESSED! Load EXOR.SYS (Y/N)***
When that happens, and EXOR.SYS doesn't work, do you 'ascii' a priest?
And with spirits, you can get slimed. With a posessed HD, do you get 'giu'ed??
If you can't change your mind, are you sure you still have one?
Sign in a Wiccan Bookstore: "No Shoplifting! Offenders will be Possessed! Second-time Offenders will be Re-Possessed!"
What is one thing you never have to worry about? Your airplane being hijacked by a group of radical Unitarians.
Definition of Irish Diplomacy; The Art of telling a man to go to hell, so that he actually looks forward to the trip.
Why did God create Whiskey? To keep the Irish from ruling the world!!
A sign with a daggar on it in a bookstore: "Shoplifters will be merrily hacked to pieces!"
How do you scare a UU (Unitarian Universalist) our of your neighborhood?
--Answer: Burn a Question Mark on their lawn
.... What's another name for Irish sunblock...? -A pub.
Carpe Nocturnum: 'We get more done after 2 a.m. then most people do all day'
Sign posted at an Artist Cooperative shop: WARNING! Unattended children may be eaten by starving artists!
Q: How many Druids does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: They don't screw in light bulbs, they screw in stone circles.
Q: How many Druids does it take to change a light bulb? A: Thirteen; one to hold the bulb, and twelve to drink enough to make the room spin.
Q: How many ceremonial magicians does it take to change a light bulb? A: One; he stands still with the bulb, and the universe revolves around him.
How many Thelemites does it take to change a light bulb? None. Crowley never wrote a book about it.
What do Thelemites do for foreplay? The LBRP.
How many Witches does it take to change a light bulb? Depends on what you want to change it into.
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
Heck is a place for people who don't believe in Gosh.
I had my car's alignment checked. It's chaotic evil!
A squirrel is just a rat with good P.R.
"I do whatever my rice crispies tell me to"
"Jesus is coming. Look Busy!"
"My family is more disfunctional than your family"
"Re-elect Clinton-Gore and their husbands"
"God Please save me from your followers"
"I have the body of a god: Buddha"
"Jesus saves! By using double coupons & shopping wisely"
Sign on the wall at the Abyss in Easthampton, Mass., "Unattended children will be sold as slaves."
- A skeptic goes in to see a fortune teller. "You are the father of 2
children," the fortune teller says.
"That's what you think! I'm the father of 3 children!," says the man.
"That's what you think," says the fortune teller.
How may light bulbs does it take to change a gardnerian? None, they can do it all by themselves, thank you very much!!
Witches do it in the moonlight
Practice safe hex
We're gardnerians...off with your clothes
I'm doin my part to piss of the religious right.....r u??
Ankh if you love Isis!!
Domineering, coldhearted, vicious bitch seeks submissive, warmhearted, caring man for INTENSE love/hate relationship!
Did you hear, Easter is canceled this year........yeah, they found the body.
A child's version of Easter: easter is when they crucified jesus, and put him in a cave. three days later he rose again on easter sunday. when he came out of the cave, he got scared by his shadow, went back in, and they had 3 more months of winter!
"Mine eyes have seen the glory of the commin of the Lord he was ridin down the freeway in a red and yellow Ford with one hand on the throttle and the other on a bottle of Pabst Blue Ribbon beer
Q: How many Dianic women does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: That's W-I-M-M-I-N, and that's not funny!
How do you get a nun pregant? Dress her up as an altar boy.
Q: What do you call a dating club for unattached Wiccans? A: Craft singles!
Did you hear that Kraft was so offended by that last joke that they moved their macaroni plants to Israel? Yeah, now they're called Cheeses of Nazareth!
How many Zen Buddhists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change it, one not to change it.
How many Zen Masters does it take to change a light bulb? None. The universe changes the light bulb & the Zen Master gets the fuck out of the way!
"Sorry I wasn't in church last Sunday, but I was practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian"
"I'm Pro-choice and I shoot back"
93 - its not just a good idea, its the law...
How many Gardnerians does it take to change a lightbul b? 1. I can't say. It's oathbound. 2. I can't tell you--you're not a third-circle initiate!
How many Alexandrians does it take to change a lightbulb? 1. Same number as Gardnerians. 2. What do the Gardnerians do?
The Mighty God Thor was riding across the skies on his fiery steed Pegasus. He raised his hammer and bellowed, "I'M THOR! I'M THOR!" Pegasus looked up at him and muttered, "You thoulda worn your thaddle, thilly."
Knock, knock! Who's there? Wicca! Wicca who? Wicca dance in the moonlight together, yes?
That was Zen; this is Tao.
Jesus saves...but Gretsky catches the rebound! He shoots! HE SCOOORES!
Hail to the Sun god! He's a real fun god! Ra, Ra, Ra!
Why did the Zen Buddhist get reincarnated as a Pizza Supreme? He wanted to be one with everything.