Firesilk's Role-Playing Page
I have been role-playing since I was fifteen, so with a little creative math that makes exactly one half of my life. I first started with D&D, but moved on to AD&D, Traveller, Car Wars, Boot Hill, CyberPunk, ShadowRun, Call of Cthulu, Rifts, AD&D 2nd Edition, and Battletech.
My all time favorite RPG is Call of Cthulu. I find it easiest to actually role-play and the players I've been with don't seem to fall into the STAT Abortion trap as easily. (You know 18/100 STR and 18's across the board with a +5 Holy Avenger to boot)
My favorite game to GM is AD&D 2nd Edition, with Rifts a close second (Rifts combat sequences get kind of persnickety and bog down the game as well as being a paperwork fiasco for the GM, but otherwise I love the game.
I don't like GURPS! I've found that the STAT Abortionists abound in GURPS-based games. What's the point in playing if you are all-powerful and can easily defeat all opponents? It's the limitations that bring the Challenge and the sense of accomplishment when you overcome them.
Here are some of my all time favorite quotes from games I have played:
1. Do I detect good evil or bad evil?
2. Nobles make the best crunchy sounds when you drop rocks on them.
3. Pull your ship over, and show us your license and registration. (first attempt at pirating)
4. Which one are you shooting at? That one. Hey that's me!
5. If I see one more goblin, I'm gonna puke.
6. Hey we're third level, let's go get a dragon.
7. We were by a building where there lots of buildings but we weren't in any of those we were in a building across the street.
8. I may be stupid but I'm not insane.
9. I don't believe in you.
10. Hey look! That guy's invisible.
11. I think I'll lie down while I'm weak and twitch a bit.
12. Who put the gelatinous cube in my bag of holding?
13. You feel like you can control a mammal or a marsupial. Great if any flying squirrels come by we're set!
14.There's 300 gold pieces and some leather armor and ...Oh my god near the ceiling there's a beholder! (DM hadn't read all the way through the dungeon module before starting)
15. You only live as many times as you have Constitution points.
I got the following from my brother and it had me rolling on the floor with laughter. I don't know where he got it from, if it's yours or you know who did it please e-mail me so I can give the proper credit.
"Hot Diggity!! Gnoll outpost at twelve o'clock!! CHAAAAAAAARGE!!!"
2. The Real Role-Player
"Don't start yet!! I need my two minutes to get properly into character."
3. The Loonie
"I sheathe my longsword and kiss the ogre on the lips."
4. The Munchkin
"Five arch-devils and two demigods? That's ALL?! I guess I'll only need to use six of my rings for this encounter."
5. The Coward
"Yikes! Three kobolds!! Retreat! Retreat!"
6. The Troublemaker
"Just before the Mayor gives his speech to the town, I cast *command-vomit* on him."
7. The Novice
"I just rolled a 2 on my ,to hit' roll. Did I want high or low?"
8. The Tactician
"The archer will move silently into position behind the podium, carefully aiming at the sergeant. The mage shall remain behind the door in preparation of a 'sleep' spell which will be centered at the table around which are the bulk of the guards. Meanwhile, the fighter and I shall..."
9. The Quiet Type
"I dunno... I lob off another arrow at the monster this round, I guess."
10. The Punster
"You know how many clerics it takes to fix a light bulb? One to cast 'cure light'."
11. The PC Infighter
"Since Ruth's been such a twit, I hit her in the face with my flail while she's casting her 'find familiar' spell."
12. Joe I-Got-the-Rules-Down-Pat
"No, if you look in the DMG, page 81 paragraph 5, you'll find this spell won't affect griffons."
13. The Whiner
"Three points?! I take THREE POINTS OF DAMAGE!?! Frank, what the hell kind of grudge do you have against
14. The Bully
"Are you sure I don't make my saving throw? Are you ABSOLUTELY sure? Do you want to keep your nose the way it is, Lou?"
15. Mr. Greedy
"So it's not evil? And it's not attacking? So what! I WANT THAT XP!!!!"
16. The Cheater
"I roll an... 18! It hits!"[Quickly grabs dice.]
17. The Chastiser
"And you DIDN'T SEE THAT TRAP COMING? Hahahahahaha!! Just how long did you say you've been playing this game?"
18. The Kamikaze Guy
"I jump off our perch, taking careful aim to land dead center on the hobgoblin patrol. Just before I hit the ground, though, I set off the 'fire trap' on all my nine flasks of oil."
19. The Good Roller
"Oh, looky here. An 03 on percentile dice. If that door was trapped, I just found something."
20. The Bad Roller
"Oh, damn it all!! *Another* critical fumble!!"
21. The Braggart
"The thought of you attacking me isn't even interesting. I could get off a 'sleep' spell and slit your unconscious throat before you even get your longsword out of its sheath."
22. The Reminiscer
"Say, y'know, this is kind of like the time our party thief spent twenty minutes trying to lock-pick an unlocked door."
23. Goody Two-Shoes
"Wait a minute. Even if they are orcs, we just can't kill them when they're asleep and can't defend themselves."
24. The Overoptimistic Daydreamer
"After we get through this campaign, and have gained about nine, ten levels, I'm going to buy me the finest battle axe that money can buy."
25. Short-Attention-Span Man
"Hmmm? What? Oh, are we attacking now?"
26. Thermonuclear Man (sub-species of Munchkin)
"Allright, I swing at the Orc with my Bastard Sword. (roll) That's a 2,+2 for strength, +3 for specialisation, +2 for (blah blah blah). So that's a 27. (Sarcastic grin) Does it hit?"
27. The GM-hater (subclass of troublemaker)
The person who comes into the game and does his best to think of ways to react to a situation that the GM hasn't. Having a PC who is slightly schizophrenic is a good excuse for this. Note: mixes really badly with the "storytelling" style of GM.
28. The mindless player
GM:"The gaping chasm stretches out before you. It is too far to jump across." Player:"I jump the chasm."
29. The Crybaby
"You mean the big rock crushed me? My character's DEAD?!? eally, really DEAD?!? NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
30. The Cowboy
"I walk proudly up to the King and challenge him to a duel to the death. Oh yeah, I make sure to call him a wimp."
31. The Psycho Killer
DM: "Okay, you open the door and you see - " PK: "KILL KILL KILL!! BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD!! RRAAAAAGGGGHH!!"
32. The Worry Wort
"Okay, my mage is invisible, levitating thirty meters above the party, has a Phantom Armour and a Stoneskin on him, a Ring of Fire Resistance worn, a Minor Globe of Invulnerability up (et cetera, et cetera) Damn! I have a bad feeling about this..."
33. The Cavern Shyster
"Oh, so the Illusionary Medusa I cast at the Archdemon Orcus doesn't turn him to stone, does it? Well, if you look at the spell description, it says right here that he gets no save, has no chance to disbelieve, and I made my magic resistance roll! What do you say to THAT?"
34. The Pig-eyed Glutton
"Now how do we go about carting off this 800 copper pieces? We're already loaded down with the four suits of leather armour and electrum-inlaid toilet seats we found earlier..."
35. The masochist
"I stop running, turn around, slap the minotaur, and tell him to stop breathing down my neck." (closely related to #3, the Loonie)
In the meantime, here are some links to people I game with:
And a link to a good place to get games: Happy Puppy
The Con Men
The Asylum
© 1997,1998 firesilk@hotmail.com
