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Moira's Diary

Chapter 1 (19 January, 2001 CE *)

I had returned to Armand's Shadow for a little while. As always, I worried every time I saw him after a time apart - each time he seemed further away in spirit, his body an echo of the twisted bitterness his mind had become. I had not been so long away this time though, and all was much as I had left it. Armand greeted me with his usual intense quietness, and together we passed time relating what had befallen in the meantime and comparing notes. I still had no fresh trace on Mother's whereabouts. The presence of her Trump in the Deck I had found had given me a lurch of hope , but when I had tried it there was none of the distinctive 'coolness' that I had come to associate with awakening contact via this medium. So .... either this was not a true Trump, or .... Mother was no longer alive. And I was no wiser.

One day, Armand and I decided to go out hunting in one of his Shadows. Typical of its kind, it was a dark and brooding place, a haven for twisted vegetation, dismal swamps and wretched inhabitants. The hunt had become a favourite pastime of ours, and indeed over the centuries Armand had become particularly skilled in the ways of the hunt. Ke'ko was flying well, as was the other peregrine that was Armand's favourite, and our saddlebags were already well-filled with game for the table. It was then that we noticed a huge eagle flying towards us from the distance. It's wingspan was around 40 feet, a mighty creature. Our birds were wise enough to leave it well alone, and Armand brought it down with a well-placed crossbow bolt when it flew within his range. None of that size had been sighted here before, according to Armand; I was suspicious enough (and yes, in awe enough of this great beast) to examine it before we rode away. It had no markings or rings on its legs, nor did it bear the jesses of a captive or trained bird. That implied that it was simply a wild creature rather than an agent for Oberon or other kin. No doubt that sounds overly paranoid, but I at least would not put anything past those who had caused and maintained our exile.
No matter. The great eagle behind us, we decided to ride on. Not long thereafter though, I felt a ripple in the fabric of the Shadow, similar that of a shifting of shadow. In the distance, a wave a light and ... 'niceness' swept forward in our direction, turning Armand's familiar reviled landscape into a garden fit for saccharine-sweet faeries and fluffy bunnies. We turned and walked our horses back towards the way we had come, and with Armand's permission gradually shifted shadow until we arrived back at Armand's familiar dark castle high on its mountain crag. Armand said that he sensed that one of his outlying shadows (closest to the Logrus/Chaos) had been lost to him, and was now sterile, set and with no possibilities. Furious at the interference in his realm, Armand raged off down the staircase wielding a halberd snatched from a wallmount. I followed him more slowly, and was surprised to see him pass Abel on turn of the stairs. The presence of our elder brother , Oberon's favourite and Heir to Amber did not bode well. Never had he dared - or bothered - to visit us in our millennia of exile. Daddy's favourite would certainly know that was not the way to win his favour, save that he was spying on us for Oberon's pleasure. Still I could never help but think that had our siblings truly cared for us, they would have braved his displeasure - if only out of curiosity and bloody-mindedness to go against any forbidding He may have declared against us. At least Abel, the big brother who had played with us, dressed our hurts, and teased me sweetly as a big brother will .... why had he at least not come to visit to learn if we still indeed lived, or to plead our case to Father ? Silly child, I told myself - because he was a Daddy's boy, eager to be the Heir, the beloved eldest son. Of course he wouldn't visit. Still, the little brown-nose was here. The only question now was, "Why?", closely followed by, "How long will Armand allow him to live ?". I grinned wryly to myself. I had to admit ... I was curious on both counts. Armand demanded of Abel what he was doing in his domain. Abel replied that Oberon required our presence - he seemed to be worried about something. " Why should we care if he is worried ?", we derided. "And he long since gave up the right to 'require' our presence anywhere - it was he who sent us here, with threats against our return". Armand threatened Abel a little, and he groveled pathetically at his little brother's intimidation - some Heir to the Throne of Amber he is ! Absolutely no spine when away from Daddy's grasp. Or was it just a clever ploy to cause us to underestimate him ? Hmmmm .... possible, but uncharacteristically devious, unless he'd undergone a radical change of attitude. Unlikely, but .... not safe to discount it.
Tiring eventually of goading Abel, Armand and I told him to tell Oberon that we will visit Amber in one hour's time (2 hours local time). Abel left hurridly. Armand then continued his interrupted business, and went off to summon his armies to reclaim the shadow that had been lost.
I utilised the intervening time by bathing and changing my attire to something more suitable to a visit to the family. I wondered if they are much different to the impressions I have built up from my clandestine observations over the years of exile. This will, at least, provide a useful opportunity to observe them at close hand and indulge in some more direct examination of their interrelationships, psyches and motives. And being family, it never paid to be less than cautious. I went to the sideboard and filled two silver hipflasks with Armand's excellent bloodwine. I slipped them onto my belt, and added two slender matching silver goblets. If we were to take refreshment in father's halls, it would be something that only Armand or I had prepared (didn't I say you couldn't be too careful around family ?). Armand returned then, satisfied that he had done what could be for the time being to recoup his shadow.

We travelled then to Amber, via a Trump that I possessed. We made a grand entrance into the Study - falling from a height onto the floor in a tumbled heap. Hardly the way to be dignified, but at least it was more interesting than simply walking in unnoticed I guess. Members of the family were present - our siblings Helgrimm, Papilia, Erwin, Calamar, Julian, Caine, Florimel and Corwin. And Oberon. Armand and I present a united front against our more pampered siblings. They seemed a little bemused by our overt hostility to Oberon, thinly veiled to themselves. As if they had no idea where we had been all their lives, and why !
A family discussion took place, Oberon saying that he was concerned that there was something disturbing the fabric of Shadow - had we not felt it ? Helgrimm said he had experienced odd things in his shadow (Parisian high-tech world of sorts); Armand allowed that there had been interference with his shadow/s, and there had been difficulties with the shadows around Amber itself ... it appeared that one had to travel even further than usual away from Amber proper, beyond Forest Arden, before the stuff of shadow could be properly manipulated. Oberon charged we siblings to find out was wrong and fix it, before all we knew was destroyed. We grudgingly agreed.
During the discussions, I offered Helgrimm a drink of bloodwine from my goblet (an interesting experiment I thought, to see what his response would be). He accepted (all sorts of implications there!). He speaks of a wife and family in his shadow. He then offered me a sip from his glass in return, which I declined courteously. Someone (Helgrimm I think) spoke to Oberon, saying that Armand and I should be allowed access to Amber despite our previous exile, else how could we properly function in the task he'd set us. There was some discussion back and forth, surprisingly the weight of opinion seemed to be in favour of this move rather than against it. Oberon, of course, would not be convinced. Papilia spoke soft words to Oberon, and they appeared to cut him to the quick. He left thereafter, after giving us access to Amber. We agreed then to start on the task Oberon had set us. Julian refused to allow passage through Arden. Attempts were made to convince him otherwise, but the pratt stood childishly firm. Helgrimm offers the use of his longship for travel by sea; it seems he has a trump of the ship and offers to take us through. There is further discussion, but in the end Papilia decides to travel with Julian and Caine and Florimel through Forest Arden, and the rest of us go off to make the journey by sea - the destination is Shadow Earth Paris in the year 1974 CE.
Chapter 1 (19 January, 2001 CEĽ) I h ad returned to Armand's Shadow for a little while. As always, I worried every time I saw him after a time apart - each time he seemed further away in spirit, his body an echo of the twisted bitterness his mind had become. I had not been so long away this time though, and all was much as I had left it. Armand greeted me with his usual intense quietness, and together we passed time relating what had befallen in the meantime and comparing notes. I still had no fresh trace on Mother's whereabouts. The presence of her Trump in the Deck I had found had given me a lurch of hope , but when I had tried it there was none of the distinctive 'coolness' that I had come to associate with awakening contact via this medium. So .... either this was not a true Trump, or .... Mother was no longer alive. And I was no wiser.

One day, Armand and I decided to go out hunting in one of his Shadows. Typical of its kind, it was a dark and brooding place, a haven for twisted vegetation, dismal swamps and wretched inhabitants. The hunt had become a favourite pastime of ours, and indeed over the centuries Armand had become particularly skilled in the ways of the hunt. Ke'ko was flying well, as was the other peregrine that was Armand's favourite, and our saddlebags were already well-filled with game for the table. It was then that we noticed a huge eagle flying towards us from the distance. It's wingspan was around 40 feet, a mighty creature. Our birds were wise enough to leave it well alone, and Armand brought it down with a well-placed crossbow bolt when it flew within his range. None of that size had been sighted here before, according to Armand; I was suspicious enough (and yes, in awe enough of this great beast) to examine it before we rode away. It had no markings or rings on its legs, nor did it bear the jesses of a captive or trained bird. That implied that it was simply a wild creature rather than an agent for Oberon or other kin. No doubt that sounds overly paranoid, but I at least would not put anything past those who had caused and maintained our exile.
No matter. The great eagle behind us, we decided to ride on. Not long thereafter though, I felt a ripple in the fabric of the Shadow, similar that of a shifting of shadow. In the distance, a wave a light and ... 'niceness' swept forward in our direction, turning Armand's familiar reviled landscape into a garden fit for saccharine-sweet faeries and fluffy bunnies. We turned and walked our horses back towards the way we had come, and with Armand's permission gradually shifted shadow until we arrived back at Armand's familiar dark castle high on its mountain crag. Armand said that he sensed that one of his outlying shadows (closest to the Logrus/Chaos) had been lost to him, and was now sterile, set and with no possibilities. Furious at the interference in his realm, Armand raged off down the staircase wielding a halberd snatched from a wallmount. I followed him more slowly, and was surprised to see him pass Abel on turn of the stairs. The presence of our elder brother , Oberon's favourite and Heir to Amber did not bode well. Never had he dared - or bothered - to visit us in our millennia of exile. Daddy's favourite would certainly know that was not the way to win his favour, save that he was spying on us for Oberon's pleasure. Still I could never help but think that had our siblings truly cared for us, they would have braved his displeasure - if only out of curiosity and bloody-mindedness to go against any forbidding He may have declared against us. At least Abel, the big brother who had played with us, dressed our hurts, and teased me sweetly as a big brother will .... why had he at least not come to visit to learn if we still indeed lived, or to plead our case to Father ? Silly child, I told myself - because he was a Daddy's boy, eager to be the Heir, the beloved eldest son. Of course he wouldn't visit. Still, the little brown-nose was here. The only question now was, "Why?", closely followed by, "How long will Armand allow him to live ?". I grinned wryly to myself. I had to admit ... I was curious on both counts. Armand demanded of Abel what he was doing in his domain. Abel replied that Oberon required our presence - he seemed to be worried about something. " Why should we care if he is worried ?", we derided. "And he long since gave up the right to 'require' our presence anywhere - it was he who sent us here, with threats against our return". Armand threatened Abel a little, and he groveled pathetically at his little brother's intimidation - some Heir to the Throne of Amber he is ! Absolutely no spine when away from Daddy's grasp. Or was it just a clever ploy to cause us to underestimate him ? Hmmmm .... possible, but uncharacteristically devious, unless he'd undergone a radical change of attitude. Unlikely, but .... not safe to discount it.
Tiring eventually of goading Abel, Armand and I told him to tell Oberon that we will visit Amber in one hour's time (2 hours local time). Abel left hurridly. Armand then continued his interrupted business, and went off to summon his armies to reclaim the shadow that had been lost.
I utilised the intervening time by bathing and changing my attire to something more suitable to a visit to the family. I wondered if they are much different to the impressions I have built up from my clandestine observations over the years of exile. This will, at least, provide a useful opportunity to observe them at close hand and indulge in some more direct examination of their interrelationships, psyches and motives. And being family, it never paid to be less than cautious. I went to the sideboard and filled two silver hipflasks with Armand's excellent bloodwine. I slipped them onto my belt, and added two slender matching silver goblets. If we were to take refreshment in father's halls, it would be something that only Armand or I had prepared (didn't I say you couldn't be too careful around family ?). Armand returned then, satisfied that he had done what could be for the time being to recoup his shadow.

We travelled then to Amber, via a Trump that I possessed. We made a grand entrance into the Study - falling from a height onto the floor in a tumbled heap. Hardly the way to be dignified, but at least it was more interesting than simply walking in unnoticed I guess. Members of the family were present - our siblings Helgrimm, Papilia, Erwin, Calamar, Julian, Caine, Florimel and Corwin. And Oberon. Armand and I present a united front against our more pampered siblings. They seemed a little bemused by our overt hostility to Oberon, thinly veiled to themselves. As if they had no idea where we had been all their lives, and why !
A family discussion took place, Oberon saying that he was concerned that there was something disturbing the fabric of Shadow - had we not felt it ? Helgrimm said he had experienced odd things in his shadow (Parisian high-tech world of sorts); Armand allowed that there had been interference with his shadow/s, and there had been difficulties with the shadows around Amber itself ... it appeared that one had to travel even further than usual away from Amber proper, beyond Forest Arden, before the stuff of shadow could be properly manipulated. Oberon charged we siblings to find out was wrong and fix it, before all we knew was destroyed. We grudgingly agreed.
During the discussions, I offered Helgrimm a drink of bloodwine from my goblet (an interesting experiment I thought, to see what his response would be). He accepted (all sorts of implications there!). He speaks of a wife and family in his shadow. He then offered me a sip from his glass in return, which I declined courteously. Someone (Helgrimm I think) spoke to Oberon, saying that Armand and I should be allowed access to Amber despite our previous exile, else how could we properly function in the task he'd set us. There was some discussion back and forth, surprisingly the weight of opinion seemed to be in favour of this move rather than against it. Oberon, of course, would not be convinced. Papilia spoke soft words to Oberon, and they appeared to cut him to the quick. He left thereafter, after giving us access to Amber. We agreed then to start on the task Oberon had set us. Julian refused to allow passage through Arden. Attempts were made to convince him otherwise, but the pratt stood childishly firm. Helgrimm offers the use of his longship for travel by sea; it seems he has a trump of the ship and offers to take us through. There is further discussion, but in the end Papilia decides to travel with Julian and Caine and Florimel through Forest Arden, and the rest of us go off to make the journey by sea - the destination is Shadow Earth Paris in the year 1974 CE.

* Note: CE = Chronology of Earth

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