Moira's Diary

Chapter 6 (30th March 2001 CE *)


Erwin, Moira, Helgrimm, Papilia are at the steading with the Chaos crowd. There is much talk of begatting. Erwin is particularly entranced. Dylan changes to a female form (takes about 5 minutes); I watch with interest, as this is a new power to me and I want to learn as much as I can about it. I use my psyche to feel the play of energies as he shifts shape. He/she lays down on a table and offers her/himself to Erwin (as he had said earlier that begatting can facilitate many things). Helgrimm lowers the ambient temperature so Dylan's nipples harden, and Dylan further obliges by causing her/his nipples to extend even further. We're all watching in anticipation of Erwin's performance. Erwin faints. Two valkyries carry him off to amuse Hel, at Helgrimm's request. I assist Dylan up from the table, and he changes back to male form and seats himself at the table. I seat myself next to him and offer him a goblet of wine/mead. Calamar arrives in from the rain, carrying vegetables. We talk further with the Chaos crowd. Future communication between the two groups is discussed (ie. how can we get in contact with each other if we want to ). Helgrimm describes creatures of desire (very interesting to Moira) which can take messages to them. Dylan is perplexed by the notion of creatures of desire.

After partaking of some of Helgrimm's hospitality Dylan invites Moira to return with him to visit the Courts of Chaos. I accept. Armand returns (he seems to be just himself) and says he has news for me (to be imparted later). The disharmony exhibited by conversation between Armand and Helgrimm changes Dylan's mind about inviting me back with him; the invitation is revoked. As they go to leave, I take Dylan aside, asking him what is was that caused him to revoke the invitation - was it the infighting between Armand and Helgrimm? He says it was, the disharmony did put them off. He says that the invitation is still open, but to me only. (Armand, who was insisting on coming with me, is also not invited). Dylan says he will be in contact with me later.
I return to the group and Armand.
Armand and I suddenly disappear and reappear on trembling ground. There is the smell of noxious gases, and we see two huge columns of stone behind us and a large rock in front. A huge 500' high figure towers over us, holding a tiny wriggling thing. Under the huge rock is Erwin (well, something that looks like Erwin), trapped and unable to move. I mentally 'nudge' the giant figure so that it pushes the large rock with its foot so that it rolls off the Erwin-figure. I scoop up the Erwin and pass him to Armand. I trump Helgrimm and he brings us through back to the steading. Hel takes Erwin off to look after him. Calamar is there, looking injured and the worse for wear. Calamar asks me to do a mental sweep of Helgrimm's realm, to seek Erwin - he suggests I look in the east. I find Erwin, Armand (a copy) and Loki in the east; nothing else of note around. The first two have power sources coming into them from the outside, fluctuating. I report back to the group. Helgrimm then blows up the Erwin in the east; the power feeding in stopped and the Armand self-detonated. Helgrimm talks to Loki via a face in a cloud he causes to be there.
The real Armand and I talk. There is general discussion about how to verify who is real. It is suggested that one way to test is for each one of us to walk the Pattern, as that would weed out those not really of Amberite blood. I join with the others in agreeing this is a useful idea, and offer to walk the Pattern if they want me to. Helgrimm suddenly spits the dummy and says that Armand and I are not trustworthy, and through the others there are heated words. I ask Helgrimm what I have done that is against the group, and what about the times I have helped the group and been a part of the team (eg. working with him and Papilia, healing and rescuing others, etc). Helgrimm rants and raves that we are untrustworthy and I have done nothing to help the group. In the end I've had enough, as has Armand. I say to Papilia in front of the others that if there is ever anything she wants, she just has to ask me; also to remember not to let the brothers boss her around. She agrees & appears sympathetic. Armand and I go to the Broken Pattern. I tell Armand that I will walk it, get it to take me to the Pattern Room in Amber and walk the Pattern ahead of Helgrimm, Papilia and Calamar, to spite Oberon, Helgrimm, and the whole dammed lot of them.
Armand gathers some items from his Shadow and then we travel to the Pattern Room. Armand stands guard for me in the room as I set forth to walk the Pattern. We see that at the centre of the Pattern stands a hunched figure. I set foot on the Pattern (and survive), and start to traverse it. A voice talks to me in my mind, that I am evil and unworthy. I answer it back a couple of times, and thereafter I ignore it. It goes away. I make it to the centre of the Pattern. There is Dworkin (or one who bears his form at least). The Dworkin-figure challenges me - says I'm tainted, unworthy, how dare I walk the Pattern. I reply fiercely that I had no choice, I was cast out for no fair or worthy reason, was denied the chance to prove I was worthy and to walk the Pattern anyway, and took what Power I could to survive. He looks at me, and tells me to take his hand. I do so, and we reappear on a hillside facing a meadow, with a hillside going upwards. He tells me to turn around. I do, and see that we are standing on the edge of a cliff. He shows me the energy source at the bottom of the chasm, hazy so far down. He says it is the Source of Creation. On the far side of the chasm there appears to be a city, but it seems to shift as I look at it - could just be a trick of the haze. He tells me too look down into Creation. I do, and he pushes me off the edge and I plummet down. I gets hotter and hotter, the air more and more acrid. My lungs and clothing burn. I try bring Pattern to mind, willing myself out of there, changing the environment so I can somehow get out. I remember too late my Trump deck - it explodes as I think to use it to Trump myself out. Desperate, I try to think how I felt the energies shift when Dylan shifted to a female form earlier that day. I try to imagine myself changing shape to survive the chasm and fly (?) out of there, as I plummet down and down into Creation .....

* Note: CE = Chronology of Earth

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