Anthony died of SIDS. His death made me a more understanding person and also taught me that nothing is forever, and I live each day as if it were my last.

I believe that Anthony's death has helped Mike and I grow closer, even though our immediately family is split; some I can talk to and they are there for me, others shy away and don't say anything about him. I have an aunt who is a hospice social worker and a widow; she is my life line sometimes, she is the one who lets me go on and on and also remembers the anniverseries and birthdays with cards and lots of hugs ! I also find great comfort in my Mother in law. She is also a bereaved parent, having lost her first baby through prematurity. She is another that I can talk to any time. She is a great and loving person, she hand crafted me an angel in the palm of a hand for me this Christmas and on the bottom put Anthony's name. I feel I am blessed to have these two people in my life !

I am doing the best I can do, I still have my days that are harder then the others. I miss him a great deal. I worry about how I will let my daughter know him, since she was born after he died. I sometimes feel that the walk through grief is one step forward and two steps back. On holidays and special days I go to his grave with flowers and things like that, and I talk to him alot and just reflect over the time that I was blessed with him.

I would advise other bereaved parents to talk about your child, to anyone who will listen, and always remember that your child will always love you.

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