†Ethan's House†
Our Angel.....
Richard
November 30, 1989 to January 2, 1993
Richard died in a house fire in our home, and since then my outlook on life and my children have changed completely. This has me realize that life is too short and to life it to the fullest. Richard's death caused the seperation and divorce of my first husband, but also connected me more with my daughters. I know cherish every day and minute with my surviving children. I want to save everything they do now so I will have it if I need it. My daughters are more attached to me and scared of losing me and have a hard time letting me leave them even for a short period of time.
It makes me feel when I meet people now that they don't know the whole me because they didn't meet my son. I lost a huge part of me when he died and I will never get that part of me back until I see him again. My life will never be the same again but I have learned to live and remember and love again.I felt very numb for the first year but that went away and now I get on with the business of feeling again.
We all had a tough time to start but have pulled through; we still have bad days sometimes. My daughters and I went to therapy through Hospice, which helped us learn and deal with the fact that he is gone. We learned how to cry together and to let our feelings show and not keep it all bottled up. I still have bad days sometime but I talk to my husband and children and try to remember the memories of him and how wonderful he was and how special he is.I visit the grave by myself when I need to be with him; that is our special time together. We do alot of talking in the car about him and what we remember of him. My daughters and I tell my husband, son, and baby all about him so that they can know him and love him just like we do.
On important days we try to be together as a family and go to his grave and send balloons up to heaven for him. Just being together and remembering him helps. If we can get away from work we try to go away so we feel like a family together.
Bereaved parents need to remember what they had, and always remember how fortunate they were to know them even if it was for a very short period of time. I will never forget my son and I do not want anyone in my family to forget him so I try to talk about my memories when they pop into my head. I have all his pictures around my house and I wear his baby ring so I will always have a piece of him with me.
Copyright 1997-2000 Ethans House, Inc.
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