Like many children, I had christianity dumped in my lap. That is, my parents were christian, and so I was raised with those beliefs. I cannot honestly say that I ever truly believed in the christian god, but I prayed, read the stories, sang the hymns, etc. I never gave it too much thought because at that young age religion meant very little to me. As I grew older I learned more and more about the myths of the ancient "dead" beliefs such as Greek, Roman, and Egyptian mythologies and was quite interested by them. Somehow the deities from these beliefs seemed more "real" to me than the christian god. It wasn't until my late teen years though that I began searching for something to believe in, something to devote my life to and also something to fall back on when I needed spiritual reassurance and support. For a couple of years I considered myself a Taoist, but while the passivity and free will suited me, there wasn't that feeling of true spiritual connection that I needed. I guess that I just yearned for a title with which to label myself rather than explore my soul to define my own beliefs first. So, after some intense introspection and chiding myself for a rather hasty decision, I began a new search. This time I was looking for something that fit the beliefs I found I always had, rather than altering my beliefs to fit a certain religion. Naturally some intense net-searching had to be done...*grin*. I came close to what I believed once when I discovered Satanism. No, not your Hollywood-style, goat-sacrificing, baby-stealing, world-ending variety, but Satanism as it is taught by Anton LeVay. I shall not go into much detail about the religion here, if you want to learn more please take the link provided. The only two major problems I had with it were the lack of freedom in the magickal expression and the fact the the religion as a whole felt too hostile or arrogant for me. Finally, with the help of my wife, I found what I was looking for, a name and a tradition to add to my own beliefs. Gothic Rose has been a Pagan for years now, and so I used her as a source of information on Paganism. After much research and personal exploration (I wasn't about to decide hastily again!) I felt better about myself. The more I learned, the more I knew that this was me. This was the spiritual support I needed, and also the magickal freedom and sense of peace that Satanism lacked. I still have to be me, however, and so I do include aspects from Taoism, Hinduism, Satanism and other faiths, but that is one of the most wonderful aspects of paganism...freedom to believe in different things. In fact there really only is one hard and fast rule of Paganism, which is referred to as The Rede. And so, after far too long of a journey (and quite possibly far too long of a story!) I proudly call myself a Pagan.