The Third Principle: Learn true love in the school of the family

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LESSON 14: Brother and Sister's Realm of Heart

A. Brother and sister's realm of heart.

1. A brother's attitude toward his sister stems from the love of their common parents for her. We learn how to love our brothers and sisters by observing the way our parents love each other.

• We naturally love those whom our parents love.
• Parents' mutual affection, appreciation and cooperation becomes the children's ethical norm.
• We love our siblings through our mother and father's loving eyes.
• When a son loves his sister, he is loving his parents.
• When he hates his sister, he is actually hating his parents, and, by extension, he is denying himself and his value, and also his relationship with his future wife and with God.

2. In loving his brother and sister, the child learns a sense of his identity and respect for the identity of others.

• This becomes the basis for respecting others. He learns empathy, value of sharing and giving. He learns the meaning of cooperation. This expands into mature friendship.
• The conscience grows through sibling relationships.
• The sense of the integrity of each person is the basis of human rights.
• Valuing every person as my own brother or sister is the spiritual foundation of democracy. Democracy is a political philosophy which reflects the realm of brother's and sister's heart.

3. Loving your brother, he becomes part of you.

• When your parents love him, you feel benefit.
• If he becomes wealthy, you enjoy visiting his mansion as if it were your own home.
• If your elder brother becomes famous, he can lift you up and help you. His success is felt as part of your success.

4. In the brother-sister realm of heart, one learns a sense of order, hierarchy of position and status.

• Elder and younger brothers, elder and younger sisters each embody different qualities of relationship.
• Elders inherit parental responsibility for the younger. Elders identify with the parents first, and then tend to treat their younger from the parental position.
• Thus, boys and girls learn how to be parents.
• The younger children learn the same thing by taking care of their nephews and nieces.
• The younger's respect for his parents also is given to his elder siblings, who are loving him with some degree of parental love (love for father to the elder brother; love for mother to the elder sister).
• This is the basis of respect for the authority of those who are taking public responsibility (owners, managers, governors, teachers).

5. Order within the family translates into order within the society.

• Brother and sister's realm of heart is necessary for proper relationships between different positions in society. There are many complicated relationships, but the principle is the same. In fact, brother and sister's realm of heart includes an empathetic happiness when your sibling excels, receives accolades and advances. Cultivating true brotherhood and sisterhood in the family thus trains us to live well in society, and this creates a peaceful society.
• Brotherhood is the foundation for democracy. However, without the presence of God through a strong religious life, democracy has the same limitations as we would have as brothers with no parents.

6. Where there is no brother and sister's realm of heart, relations are frequently poisoned by envy and jealousy of the favored sibling. This is illustrated by the biblical stories of Cain and Abel, and Joseph and his brothers.

• Since elder-younger siblings order is set through the love of their parents, without true parents, social order ultimately breaks down.
• Rising crime rates in the inner cities are due to the lack of parents. Without parents, these children could not develop respect for their brothers and sisters.
• Crime rates correlate with single parent families and illegitimacy.
• From this pattern of the lack of parental love leading to conflict between brothers, wars have proliferated, plaguing humankind. Today, conflicts in Bosnia, the Middle East, racial divisions in America, linguistic divisions in Canada are all manifestations on a large scale of the basic failure of people to live as true brothers and sisters.
• The problem is that men and women have never experienced the conjugal realm of heart nor practiced the parents realm of heart. Modern society virtually lacks this experience, and people often have trouble with authority. This has led to the spread of anarchy within many segments of the population, affecting schools, neighborhood, businesses and the general civic atmosphere. Also, there is a lack of respect for others in modern society, which leads to a lack of proper self-respect. Therefore, people try to gain respect and self-respect through acquiring money, fame, influence and knowledge.

7. With universal brother-sister love, the world will welcome you.

• You don't want to kill your brother or sister out of jealousy over your parents' love, neither do you wish harm to come to any person, no matter how privileged his position. We all have the same parents: God.
• Social institutions, denominations, nations are each different. But relationships among them should be brotherly, centering on the harmonious relationship of their representatives. This will create a beautiful society.
• With a pure mind and heart, you can travel anywhere and relate with anyone with genuine love and respect.
• Ultimately, brother and sister's realm of heart enables each person to relate well with all twelve personality types. This means each person has a "round personality" (not sharp and jagged).
• This is the necessary preparation for marriage and the commitment of one's love for all humankind to one person, one's eternal spouse who represents all humankind.

The next lesson is about the realm of conjugal heart.

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