Psychiatric Hotline
They thought it would make me laugh and it did.
Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline......
If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 REPEATEDLY!
If you are co-dependent, press 2 for someone else.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3,4,5 and 6.
If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.
If you are delusional and occasionally hallucinate, please be aware that the thing you are holding on the side of your head is alive and about to bite your ear!
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