Cairo Association of Teachers - Newsletter

CAT Tracks for February 18, 2009 A POLITE PERSPECTIVE ON CSD #1

Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen...

Most humble greetings and salutations to my fellow colleagues in CAT land!

May I trust that you all slept well?

Cool, rainy evenings always make for such peaceful and sound slumber.

Sugar plum fairies verily danced in my head...

Others, not as blessed as we...encumbered as they are by a glass-half-empty vision of existence...may grumble about today's weather forecast - a forecast that includes the continuing possibility of precipitation. However, we, ever so enlightened, understand that today's gift of moisture paves the way for the rebirth of Spring! In further contrast, buttressed by our ever-present sunny dispositions, the promised temperature in the mid-50s (following as it does the recent ice storms) surely brings a song of thanks to all of our hearts!

Our cups, indeed, runneth over...

Hallelujah!

For those curious CATs and nonCATs who like to live on the "cutting edge" and, therefore, placed yourselves on the CAT Tracks mailing list, you have possibly tuned in this morning for an advertised "rant" concerning the latest Cairo School District treasurer's report.

Let me paws...(tee hee, tee hee...I hope you will excuse my attempt at silly humor. I just feel so giddy this morning!)

Anyway, let me pause for a brief apology at my use of a phrase like "cutting edge". Such a sharp (no pun intended) term could possibly inspire visions of violence in the minds of those of a more sensitive nature and that was definitely not my intent!)

However, that faux pas brings me to the main theme of this posting...my recognition of the absolutely shocking language that I frequently employ...or imply. Upon reviewing some of my previous "opinion pieces" (aka "rants"), I am appalled and ashamed that I have allowed myself to wallow in the gutter.

On occasion, I have even blasphemed...in a facile and futile effort to justify my "potty mouth" with Biblical references to "righteous indignation". Shame on me indeed...I have sinned.

It is time to not only repent, it is time to reform...and I shall start with today's promised..."polite perspective".

Oh my goodness!

No, strike that, uh, rescind that...that's still too close to using the Lord's name in vain since so many in today's texting world use OMG in a rude, crude, and totally unacceptable manner.

Let us begin anew...

Goodness gracious!

Did you perchance have the opportunity to review the latest District treasurer's report?

You know...the one that shows a $600,000 increase in funds "on hand" over the previous month's report?

Did you notice...that the District could pay off the "State Emergency Loan" AND...(pardon the screaming caps...I am trying to get better...really.)

Take two...

Did you notice...that the District could pay off the "State Emergency Loan" and the "Outstanding Long Term Debt" and still have "Balance Operating Funds" of $1,348,117.32 left over...free and clear?

Goodness...

Then there are those published estimates that Cairo School District Number One is in line for an additional $777,000 in 2009.

Gracious...

I wonder if it was before or after they received the extra $600,000 that they offered the additional $85 to teachers as a pay raise?

Wait!

Pshaw!

I get it!

They're funnin' us...playin' a joke on us!

Such kidders!!!

They've got to be kidding...

Now don't take that phrase wrong...don't take it "harshly"...as if I am challenging or questioning the intentions of District officials. I did not mean it that way!

(I forgive your reaction...it is totally understandable in light of the tone that I have adopted in the past with respect - disrespect - to the BOE's actions. I have been known to editorialize in order to heighten emotion! Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa...)

I meant the "They've got to be kidding" phrase to emphasize the previous paragraph...that District officials undoubtedly are kidding...with the utmost best of intentions...leading us on until they spring a big "April Surprise"...a pay raise that truly recognizes your worth and rewards you for your hard work and loyalty to a District that laments that it under-pays teachers.

In short, it's all part of a grand reverse "April Fool's Joke"...where District officials will take back the prank that they have so deftly and good-naturedly played upon their highly intelligent but totally fooled employees.

It's a "gotcha"!

Again, in retrospect...it is so obvious!

The best jokes (like magic tricks) involve a "set-up"...to distract the unsuspecting from the final punch line. Sheer genius...current District officials acting like the BOEs of old...following the "play book" if you will...dragging negotiations out to April to hype the moment. Then...(if you will excuse the caps...since they represent a scream of joy, not anger)...SURPRISE!!!

They are so sweet...

Goodness gracious!

We should have known better.

It's truly our fault for having doubt. Okay, I confess! It's mostly my fault for leading you poor little lambs astray. Baaaaaaaad...

I mean, we fell for it...hook, line, and sinker!

The BOE team made such a big deal out of "doing the math"...to brag that they were giving new teachers a 4.86% pay raise, when we knew that they were giving the vast majority of teachers much less...and the most experienced teachers less than 2%.

In the new light...the light of reason, how obvious a ruse!

How could we be so silly?

I mean, the tip off...would the BOE only give a 4.86% pay raise to new teachers when they were the very ones who brought this issue to the table...that new teachers were so pitifully paid? We should have known...a 4.86% raise on an embarrassing salary, when even the federal government just gave social security recipients a 5.8% raise?

Such an obvious charade...when one finally opens his/her eyes...his/her mind!

Century and Meridian gave 6% raises...Cairo (with almost more money than both those districts combined) proposes raises ranging from less than 2% to something less than 5%. Obviously they were kidding!

We of little faith!

When the Cairo School District has twice as much money in the bank as surrounding school districts and when the Cairo School District stands to receive more money than surrounding school districts from the freshly signed stimulus law and when the Cairo School District pays its teachers thousands of dollars less than surrounding school districts...well, you know they will do the right thing!

Shame on you for getting tense...for getting angry! As the kids say..."Your bad!"

So, let not your heart be troubled.

Good things come to those who wait.

Buzz...buzz...buzz...buzz...buzz...buzz...buzz...buzz...buzzzzzzzzzzzzz

What the...

@%&#&%@ alarm clock!

Yaaaaaaaawn...

Wow, weird...must have been one of those anxiety dreams.

Now...what was it I was going to do this morning?