From the AOL.com Website...

What a way to start a new work week...

(Hey...I'm still on payroll through August 30th and retirement for school teachers - who "get summers off" - doesn't begin until the first yellow bus rolls!)

Two headlines on AOL today:

• "If You Don't Save at Least This Amount For 40 Years .... Oops!"

  I know, I know...you told me so...don't quit at 39 years!

  The follow-up to that headline...

  "What to Do Now"

  Nope...ain't even gonna read it! A card laid is a card played...the deed is done.

The second headline...

• "20 Tricks to Delay Death Until 100"

  Question: Why in the hell would want to read this article after you've just told me that I messed up my retirement by retiring a year too soon?!

  The follow-up to that headline...

  "First One Requires a White Dress"

  Statement: Even if there is some way to salvage my retirment so that I could AFFORD to live to be 100...if longevity requires wearing a white dress, forgetaboutit!