Below are quotes that I've plastered throughout my house. There are days when I'm sad and I'll need only glance at one and it inspires me to go on, or it makes me laugh or cry. At any rate, quotes make up a big part of my life. They're little inspirational vignettes that make whatever I'm doing, more worthwhile. I hope that some that you find here make you laugh or cry or just say, "hmmmm".Quotes added weekly.

QUOTES

Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography.
--Paul Rodriguez

I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be
thinking up something else.--Lily Tomlin

I'm not working out. My philosophy: No pain, No pain.
--Carol Leifer

I went into McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like
some fries." The girl at the counter said, "Would you
like fries with that?" --Jay Leno

She who laughs....lasts. --Erma Bombeck

Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell
is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe
through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.
--Jim Carrey

According to a new survey, women say they feel more
comfortable undressing in front of men than they do
undressing in front of other women. They say that women
are too judgemental, where, of course, men are just
grateful.--Jay Leno

In the last couple of weeks, I have seen ads for the
Wonder Bra. Is that really a problem in this country?
Men not paying enough attention to women's breasts?
--Jay Leno

The measure of a man's real character is what he would
do if he knew he never would be found out.
--Thomas Babington Macaulay

When I get a little money, I buy books and if any is left
over, I buy food and clothes.--Desiderius Erasmus

Humor is laughing at what you haven't got when you
ought to have.--Langston Hughes

Only the shallow know themselves. --Oscar Wilde

Have the courage to live, anyone can die. --Robert Cody

People say that life is the thing, but I prefer reading.
--Logan Pearsall Smith

Don't say things. What you are stands over you the
while and thunders so that I cannot hear what you say
to the contrary.--Ralph Waldo Emerson

Perfect courage is to do without witnesses what one would
be capable of doing before all the world.
--La Rochefoucauld

The right to be heard does not automatically include the
right to be taken seriously. --Hubert H. Humphrey

A moment's insight is sometimes worth a life's experience.
--Oliver Wendell Holmes

Always do right. This will gratify some people and
astonish the rest.--Mark Twain

As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are stil alive
when my husband gets home from work, then, hey, I've done
my job. --Roseanne

The difference between the right word and the almost
right word is the difference between lightning and a
lightning bug.--Mark Twain

I haven't spoken to my mother-in-law for eighteen months--
I don't like to interrupt her.--Ken Dodd

My husband said he needed more space, so I locked him
outside.--Roseanne

A coincidence is a small miracle where God chose to remain
anonymous...--Heidi Quade

If you treat an individual....as if he were what he ought
to be and could be, he will become what he ought to be and could
be.--Goethe

Beautiful faces are what they wear
The light of a pleasant spirit there
Beautiful hands are what they do
Deeds that are noble, good and true
Beautiful feet are they that go
Swiftly to lighten another's woe.
--McGuffey's Second Reader

I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is
trying to please everybody. -- Bill Cosby

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door. -- Milton Berle