...listening / hearing silent sound / you and you pass me by / and i never / (never) do i feel kindness / is here really here? maybe not
this world / the here that i persist in / shadowed at best / cold hurting howling most times
there was another here sometime was it/ he dancing with shadows made from his light/ but gone he's gone / day
he turned into night / left this darkness behind / once maybe once i was more here really here
maybe once i was like he
he was day / turned into night / all darkness he left behind
silent screams but / no way to break these shadows / who is more lost?
i think i know i wish i desperately need the world i know
i feel a bright splash of color on the checkerboard black and white and black and white and black again
my fear my fear talks to me / no i will never be you fear says no not this time fear says no it is not meant to be this time fears says / no, it says
but there's this little maybe / maybe says could be / maybe says you never
know, you know maybe is a sound like breath
maybe is sun and laugh / i remember that / i remember
maybe is hope
hope shatters / sometimes / the shadows and coldness of this here i persist in
hope brings me a little peace / yes i remember peace
sometimes / hope says yes / hope says forever
forever?
there's this little maybe...

going red

there was an / explosion today
   (no one noticed)
it was inside me  and i retained it--fearful
of the repercussions
of being diferent
this farce of life
this playing at being truth
suddenly released its
   (hold)
and i   struggling against the pull
fell headlong into the void.......
there is no warm
under a fake sun    my soul was so cold
(so cold)
and dry and
brittle
a blast of
wind from Hell blew
it away     leaving
this empty shell
programmed to laugh
and smile
and never once
(never)
to reveal the pain (no don't, never)
this fake i
had no release for the
pressure
i went painful
i went red--
i opened my arms and
   (finally)
just
let
go

am i still alive, somewhere?
can i
find me, again?
or am i just
in the void
(forever........)

get back home, jojo...